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CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

No Not Me

Oct 28, 2015 4:39 AM

Denial prolongs treatment for excruciating pain. This is a Club that I don't want to be in, but guess what I have no choice. That in itself makes me angry.

Oct 28, 2015 4:51 AM

I'm not sure I understand what your saying, but if I can help in anyway I am here and I would love to talk with you. Welcome to the group if you're new here. There are so many great people in this family. That are very uplifting and helpful. I've come on here depressed and frustrated and left feeling a 100% better. Much love to you ✌️💜

Oct 28, 2015 5:01 AM

Thank you.I am new here, sorry for the harsh venting. Health Issues dominate and dictate my life and my future. I guess what I am saying is... I have no control. Making decisions is so hard for me right now but decisions have to be made.

Oct 28, 2015 5:26 AM

You definitely do not have to apologize for venting. This is a safe place for that. I understand what you are saying and the feeling of being out of control and having no say in whatever disease or diseases you suffer from is extremely frustrating. I find myself feeling very hopeless at times. Doctors can really be jerks and not listen or give you the help you need. You have every right to feel how you do and to express them. I've only been here for a month or 2 and I've seen people say this is a non judgements place. We come and rant or come to lend an ear, give gentle cyber hugs. You will get a lot of encouragement and acceptance here. One of the best things is that we all understand what is going on. We've all been or are where you are. Pain takes a huge toll on your life and emotions. I hope you stick around and find out for yourself what a bunch of awesome people are here. Decisions are scary, do you have anyone to discuss the decisions that need to be made? A safe non judgemental person. For me making lists helps me so much pros and cons of each decision. I pray that you find some relief and the answers you are seeking. Hope to talk to you again soon. Hugs ✌️💜

Oct 28, 2015 7:13 AM

Kell- I was in denial for years and my pain was so much worse. Once you grieve the life you wanted with out pain and accept that you have illnesses in a healthy way, you can begin to try to manage them.

Oct 28, 2015 8:55 AM

Actually, being angry and expressing that anger (constructively) is far better for our pain than denying we have anger/anxiety. Unfortunately, the anger and anxiety that we're unaware of is a big fueler of our pain.

Bravo on your battle with denial.

Ron

Oct 28, 2015 11:01 AM

Well said, Jesswoo!! Kelly555, welcome to our community family. As Anonymius said, this is a safe place to come and vent and unload things that you are having trouble with. We are all here for different diagnosis but all share the commonality of chronic, unrelenting pain. We understand what you are dealing with when pain takes hold and makes it hard to make plans, make important decisions and many other things. The thing is, you controlling your life and not your pain. I struggle with this myself. It's hard, I know. You need to accept where you are as your new "normal" and adjust how you do things to not make your pain worse and have to spend days recovering. Never be sorry for venting. We all do it. I can't think of a better place than here to do it. One thing that is for sure, you are never alone. There is always someone here to help you when you need it. We are here with ears to listen, shoulders to cry on, hands to hold and always hugs and prayers to make you feel better. I hope that you settle in and find the support you need here with us. Hang in there, things get better, worse, better, worse. We are all here to help when you're down and celebrate with you when things are going well. I'm sending you gentle {{{Hugs}}} and prayers.🌻🙏🏻

Oct 29, 2015 10:33 PM

Welcome Kelly555! You are in a safe place here, to vent, cry, discuss, get advice, and share whatever you feel you need to, whether good or bad. I think all of us suffered anger at how our lives have been forever changed. And as others said, it's natural, a normal party of grieving.

Years ago when I had a total nervous breakdown I was placed into a grief counseling group. My first thought was, "that's crazy, no one has died." It turns out I was grieving for losses i'd suffered as a child, and grieving because I lost myself. I know it sounds like it doesn't make sense. But really, we have all lost our old lives, our old dreams of where we wished our lives to be. And it makes us angry. But as time passes it does get easier. Anger turns to acceptance that we can't change what is. From acceptance we get support to accept and learn new ways to work around our health issues. We have all done this through the support of this group. Sometimes discussions are very graphic, but we have to in order for others to understand and be able to offer suggestions, new ways of alternate ways to deal with our issues.

Before joining this group I was feeling so lost and alone. I never dreamed there were others out in the world who truly and totally understood what chronic pain was like. I hate knowing so many others suffer. But I'm very grateful to have met so many wonderful, supportive people, whom I now see as friends. But we are still all different in our diagnoses, treatments, and personalities. We all move at our own pace. And when we get overwhelmed were have each other.

If you don't have someone close by to help with decisions, many here will be available. Don't feel alone. It's OK to lean on others. Take your time to adjust. One day, one hour, one step at a time. Lists are something many of us use, for various reasons. With my fibro fog I need a to-do list, but I also prioritize things from most to least important. We all hope you can be comfortable and feel welcome here. Sending you (((hugs))) & prayer. 🙏🌼

Oct 29, 2015 10:50 PM

Kelly, My name is Dan. I want to welcome you to our group. It is a great group. People offer love, compassion and empathy for others when they are not getting it to the extent that they need it. Many of us have families, but most of the time, they just don't understand what we need because they are not in the pain that we are in and we are sort of glad they don't understand. But we need someone to understand.

I know it is very hard that you don't have any control over your life anymore? But you know, when you realize it, you never did. Please know I am not being argumentative. But we live with the illusion most of our lives that we are in control with our destiny. That we can control how things turn out. People make lifelong plans that are altered every day by someone else taking away their control over a situation. Whether that be illness, and accident, or other things. There is one certain thing you ever had control over and you still do. It is what are you going to do now and how will you respond to what is being done to you or that is happening? That is really the only control any of us have ever had. That was the most we could ever truly plan. Once we realize that, it can possibly make our stress levels go down a little. I say possible because a lot of us are control freaks and I am one of them but I am making a lot of progress. I am really starting to practice what I preach.

I don't know if this offer you any comfort. I was hoping it would. If it didn't, please just ignore it and know that it was intended well. Have the best day that is possible.

Oct 29, 2015 11:24 PM

Wow,I definitely came to the right place for support. You guys are awesome. I was pretty down last time I posted, I know so many people are suffering more than me. I have so much to be thankful for I just feel so overwhelmed now. Thanks again for the kind words.

Oct 30, 2015 12:24 AM

Tried to do a barium enema today at hospital for major surgery Monday, Absolutely could not do it because I was too tense and fibro pain was excruciating. I will try again tomorrow,I have to do this. It's just so invasive and uncomfortable.

Oct 30, 2015 9:18 AM

Kelly, with my pelvic floor dysfunction my pelvic muscles tighten when they're supposed to relax, and vice versa. I've found I have to close my eyes, do deep slow breathing (in nose, out mouth), anytime I'm having pelvic tests or exams. I oppose you were able to get your test done! 🙏🌼

Oct 30, 2015 9:53 AM

Thank you.I also have pelvic floor dysfunction. I am trying the test ago I one hour I will try your suggestions.Thank you.

Oct 30, 2015 10:32 AM

I didn't know why my inner and front thighs hurt so bad, but the NP informed me the pelvic floor muscles and tendons go down into the thighs. Go figure!

Nov 01, 2015 9:22 AM

I am so anxious about my illostomy reversal in the morning. Hoping my fibro will calm down and cooperate.

Nov 01, 2015 11:48 AM

Hi Kelly, I feel pretty much the same as you, it is hard, and unfortunately I have no support from family and friends.

Nov 01, 2015 2:43 PM

I'll be praying everything goes well for you Kelly. Try to do relaxing things today that will keep your anxiety low. Higher anxiety means worse fibro symptoms. (((Hugs)))! 🙏🌼

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