My; health has been feeling good for a long peiod of time. I switched from one pain mediication to another and it was going well. Then I started talking cymbalta which made the biggest difference with my life. It has only been three months and things are not working the past couple weeks.
I was dealing so well with life. I had this sense of peace in myself that no matter what form of pain came at me, I was able to handle it because the medicne was giving me it at a level that I can endure the pain. I have been explaining to people how cymbalta has helped me. Before I had it, I was so desperate. I was in severe pain every day. I would pray to God to give me fifteen minutes to half and hour of less dealable pain so it can refresh me to deal with pain for the next two days. I would tell him I need my mind and that is what I need. He alwsys came through for me. But when cymbalta came along, that was a God send. It would give me several hours of less pain and I would sleep so much better. But at this moment, it has gone away and I have been overcome with complete sadness. I am not normally like this. I was raised by a proud mexican. We work hard and my father taught us nothing takes us down. That is why my family feels that I have given up. I loved to work more than they did. I got more money and awards then they did. I would still love to work. They think I am content with my life and I have given up.
With this pain being back with a vengeance, I feel like the hope I had was murdered. I feel hopeless. The pain is so bad. I know it is not cool to be a man and cry. That is at least the stereotype. But I think it is o.k. But I have wanted to lately. My body aches all over like I have the real influenza, I have been getting chills than hot, I get a rash, I am anemic a year without the known cause. The worse part is I am so tired and exhausted. I am not lazy. I try to keep my mind busy through the day. But I find myself falling asleep for two hours at a time at least three or four hours at a time. I get up for a couple of hours and then the hurt comes on so bad that I get in a fetal position and try to warm my body up and hope I am not dying because a part of me feels like I am. It is not anxiety because I don't worry of death. But the pain and body aches ache my heart at the same
I told my doctors. They told me that I am a complicated case. I explained I had new symptoms that they should check into. But they want to treat the symptom instead of look for a cause. I explained if I wanted a bandaid, I could have gone to walmart, or some guy on the street selling drugs. But I was looking for answers.
So today is too much for me. I think this week is too much for me. I hate to put a post ouf there like this. I feel like I am dragging the rest of you down to the gutter with me. I just feel like I lost part of my hope. But I know it is not that simple.My God will be there for me. It might be a more difficultt test but he will help. But then again, This can pass and everything will go back to normal Sorry guys. I have no one else to talk to but you all about this when I am sad. No one would understand except you all. Take care guys. Thanks for being such a good group. I have really enjoyed it here.