The last couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit better in myself, I seem to be coming out of the funk I've been in since Christmas which is good but this last week has been a bit down.
When I last saw my GP 3 weeks ago and I really stressed to her how I was feeling with the pain, anxiety and fogginess she ordered more blood tests....1 was to check my calcium levels because she's put me on vitamin D supplements saying I'm borderline deficient (can't remember what she said as to why they need to check!), and she ordered a few more. I remember her saying that she'd ordered 2 different tests for inflammation, 1 is a rheumatoid arthritis check and the other was a different inflammation check. When I had them done last week, the lady who took the blood said that one of them needed to be sent elsewhere as it was a more specialised one and could take up to a week for the results to come back. And I'd had a urine sample sent off for yet another UTI.
Well I had the blood tests the beginning of last week so left it to yesterday to ring up to find out.....my urine test showed a bit of blood not enough to be concerned about and they're was a weak UTI but the antibiotics last week have cleared up my infection but I need my bladder to go back to normal as it's still very sensitive (it seems my body reacts very strongly to even the weakest infections and it doesn't seem to matter that I take a cranberry supplement and drink a glass of unsweetened cranberry juice everyday I still get the UTI's).
I was only told about the inflammation results on my blood tests I'm happy to say I don't have rheumatoid arthritis that result came back clear but the other inflammation test is showing that I have inflammation. When she ordered these blood tests she said that if my blood work shows inflammation then it's unlikely that I have fibromialga so now I have no idea what is going to be said and what about everything else? The constant fogginess, the muscle twitches, the pain in my lower back, knees, neck and shoulders, my arms and the constant pins and needles in my left finger tips on top of the already heightened trigeminal neuralgia pain in the left side of my face? Are my symptoms in my head? This is all soo frustrating and confusing plus my GP really doesn't want to give me the "label" or fibro or CFS and she said I'm already doing everything I can to help keep me going, to keep me moving but I need to "pace" myself!!!
Do I want the label? No but then does anyone really want that label? I just want to know what's going on in my body and if I am actually doing all I can plus as well having the actual dx will mean that when/if I find a job then there can be special measures put in place so I don't kill myself (ha who am I kidding I'm still trying to not push myself too much but it still happens more often than not!!!). But the dx should also help with my disability claim....don't get wrong I want to go back to work and not being able to because of being ill then on top of that having to move thro the woman's refuge system has left me wondering what on earth I can do? All my previous jobs have been in customer services, shop sales, bar work and caring which have been stressful needed to hit targets and busy environments. I've tried bar work at my mum and dads pub but I'd go into a meltdown inside me (I'm very good at putting on a face at times but it takes a lot to build up the face then even more to sustain it but no matter how good I thought I was everyone knew I struggling and slowly killing myself with the anxiety) and end up in bed for 3 or 4 days after.
I guess I'm worrying because I don't know what's going to happen especially as I've just received a letter from the court saying my ESA appeal date is set for the 23rd of Feb and they'll tell me there if I'm going to be accepted back on to ESA properly or whether I'm going to have to go back on to jobseekers and look for a job!