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Ok..so need constructive support.....

Dec 05, 2016 1:48 PM

So, most of you may know the situation with family and what not. My current one is with my sis. I love her and her me. However, I must admit the last two yesrs have been on me. Primarily because I was the sickest , well me and my dad. My sister who is older has been here and a source off on again off again support.
Here's the issue. ..my sister has had a good allergy for my entire life. It's well know family acknowledge allergy. She done well by avoiding this allergen. In the last year I'd say it's popped up more and more. However,she still eats this food whenever she feels its been long enough with an issue. In the last few months she has become very child like in my mind by having hissy fits whenever her co-workers works bring this food in her building. Her Dr has offers her an eppie pin she refused it each time. As a family we have decided to simply not eat that food around her we r her family so its an easy choice for us. But she expects the entire world to bend to her will on this. Now I can see if u Informed your office of this issue and u still have ur emergency meds just in case. But for u to know you have a deadly allergy and refuse the medical rescue. What are the real expectations for real world experience. Her allergy is believed to be so serious thst even the smell of this food on a person who has already eatten the food will cause her to be ill . My view is she is being very careless and even bossy ( if that's the right term) to expect for random people to change there way of life just for her.
I mean we all know the general public could careless about invisible illness. Do u think I'm being to hard on her. Please tell me if I need an adjustment here?

Dec 05, 2016 2:00 PM

I've come to feel like if someone is offered legitimate advice or treatment but continues to not take advantage to help themselves, it's on themselves. It's hard to empathize with someone who is unwilling to try to help themselves when they have the opportunity. And to expect others to bend over backwards for her when she won't do it for herself....? Not their issue. I agree with you about the fact that if she did accept the epi pen to protect herself, carry it with her to work, then she could mention it to her co-workers politely that she has a life-threatening allergy to whatever this food is. People are much more likely to work with her if she is taking her own precautions and still respecting others. Can't expect others to change if she isn't willing to change herself.

Dec 05, 2016 2:04 PM

That's what I feel and she has also stated that she also has fibromayalgia however she is on no pain meds sees no Dr for this condition. So it leads me to sadly believe that's she just wants to have someone care for her like I've had the last few years. Id hate to put thst label on anyone because it's been out on me that I just want attention. Si I'm very very careful about doing it to others.

Dec 05, 2016 8:31 PM

I don't think you're being hard on her, I think she's being very foolish and immature. She needs to protect herself and isn't doing it. Do you think she's upset that all the focus is on you so she's doing this to take the attention off of you? I know you wouldn't think that of a grown woman but stranger things have happened. 💕

Dec 05, 2016 8:42 PM

I honestly don't know..I would not however,ive seen a lot of things in regards to my family this last few years that I would have never thought. Both good and bad.

Dec 05, 2016 8:43 PM

I'm just really trying to understand what is happening. I feel at some point I'm gonna need to have a sit down with her about a few things but I've just not had thr mental nor physical energy to deal with it

Dec 05, 2016 11:29 PM

She's being very careless with her own life if she's refusing the eppie pen. How does she expect other people to take her allergy seriously if she doesn't?
From snippets you've said in previous posts it sounds like she's jealous off all the attention you've had over the last while.
You could maybe start the conversation by asking who and when dx her with fibro and what meds have they given her to cope with the pain etc.... be prepared if she gets gets upset and defensive about it all tho and she may turn it on you to say that you're the one who's doing it all for attention and will try to belittle what you've been thro.
It's not an easy position to be in, good luck xx

Dec 06, 2016 2:48 AM

While I don't know any of your story, it does seem as though your sister resents all the attention being showered on you. That in itself is a major problem that she'll need help with. Some kind of therapy? While it seems petty, siblings of people with major illness suffer in their own way but are usually unable to voice it for fear of upsetting the sick person. About her allergy, she IS being very immature about it and is putting herself at risk. Have someone she trusts and respects have the conversation with her if you don't feel up to it. The sooner, the better before she hurts herself. Good luck!

Dec 06, 2016 6:10 AM

Depending how you see things denying yourself of medical treatment for dangerous allergen could also be considered as self harm. Some people struggling to cope may not verbalise this unless asked directly and use negative unsafe strategies for others to notice. It doesn't mean your sister is jealous or sicker than she might just find things harder to deal with for whatever reason.

Dec 06, 2016 6:20 AM

The last three years have been extremely hard for my family between my dad's cancer fight and my numerous health issues I can see how she may have felt overwhelmed. However, her most recent actions seem so out of character.

Dec 06, 2016 6:37 AM

I think you are right to be concerned since it is out of character. If it were my sister I would have a chat and let her know what I had noticed and encourage her to say what's really going on for her . My sister s evasive defensive and tricky. Good luck and go gently

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