Just got out of the ER after being in for a while.
Dose anyone remember waking up and stretching your arms out over your head and making that funny kind of face just filled with happiness of a great nights sleep and a great day planed ahead that dose not get stopped by anything. It's a glorious day. And at night you hunker down and snuggle just right into your bed and sheets with a happy smile. Thinking of all the great memories of the day and looking foward to tomarrow s plans.
I don't remember those days in my heart anymore. I see them in My head in fairy tail land. I don't see me in my memories going though those.
Out of the ER. All the machines unhookeked. IV's removed after sucking out blood and shooting me up with drugs after drugs. Keeping me "alive" walking like a zombie with my rolling walker.
Just waiting for the one wrapped in ragity black rags carrying his cycle. To call out my name. I'm not going to run. I'm just going to get on my knees bend my head down and arms behind my back for a clean shot.
I'm not looking for death mind you. I'm just plum tired and going to sit my ass down and drink some sweet tea waiting for him to find me...
I'm fricking beat folks... I'm pharmacuticly sustained. Is that a life? Is that a "natural" life? What's the diffrence from that and on life support? When do you pull the plug or stop swallowing the first full after fist full of pills?