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Out of the ER... For what???

Jun 24, 2017 2:17 AM

Just got out of the ER after being in for a while.

Dose anyone remember waking up and stretching your arms out over your head and making that funny kind of face just filled with happiness of a great nights sleep and a great day planed ahead that dose not get stopped by anything. It's a glorious day. And at night you hunker down and snuggle just right into your bed and sheets with a happy smile. Thinking of all the great memories of the day and looking foward to tomarrow s plans.

I don't remember those days in my heart anymore. I see them in My head in fairy tail land. I don't see me in my memories going though those.

Out of the ER. All the machines unhookeked. IV's removed after sucking out blood and shooting me up with drugs after drugs. Keeping me "alive" walking like a zombie with my rolling walker.

Just waiting for the one wrapped in ragity black rags carrying his cycle. To call out my name. I'm not going to run. I'm just going to get on my knees bend my head down and arms behind my back for a clean shot.

I'm not looking for death mind you. I'm just plum tired and going to sit my ass down and drink some sweet tea waiting for him to find me...

I'm fricking beat folks... I'm pharmacuticly sustained. Is that a life? Is that a "natural" life? What's the diffrence from that and on life support? When do you pull the plug or stop swallowing the first full after fist full of pills?

Jun 24, 2017 10:06 AM

Oh my dear brother in Christ and pain! I am so sorry about your situation 😞 I could type all sorts of things that you probably have already said to yourself....
Your question at the end of your post may be more rhetorical in nature but does pose an interesting dilemma...
Is there a difference? One major one is you CAN communicate with others...I know, Steven freaking Hawking can too!
We have "better life through chemistry" or because of chemistry...I know if it wasn't for science I would've been dead at 8yrs....and look at me now!
I'm part of a group of people who live every minute of their lives in pain from around the world!
Pretty powerful stuff right?
You may be getting set up so you can talk to someone in China who is dealing with feelings and came to Pain Companion and caught a post...or maybe you are going to read their post and have that epiphany which can set off a plethera of reactions allowing for a change to happen! In any case my brother, may God's WILL be done!

Jun 24, 2017 10:18 AM

Hey overcomer . I'm am so sorry to hear you just got out of the ER feeling worse then you did going in . 🤔 I understand how you are feeling tho . This life sucks . No one deserves to live like this .

Not knowing one minute to another on how you might feel . Still trying to gold on to the little hope you have left

Waking up happy . What's that like ? Lol . 😊 I prey for the best for you my friend .

Tones of Preyers 💙 Hang in there .. p.m anytime 😊😊


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