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Over it

Jul 27, 2016 2:54 AM

So I've been dealing with this along with a list of illnesses since I was 14, I'm now 26. I went from having my own place, car ,working , fiance to nothing. I've moved from state to state seeking doctors and pretty much anything that will help (except narcotics). My digestion disorder doesn't break down medicine well and Gabepentin and lyrica have both failed for me. Between the pain and dependency I feel like a failure. I went from having everything, including working hard for my 2 degrees, to now pretty much just trying to figure the next friend or family member that will let me stay considering the lack of income. The embarrassment alone fuels my depression. I've been denied all state and federal help. Suicide would be wonderful if I wasn't selfish and God fearing. I'm over it just over it.

Jul 27, 2016 3:34 AM

Oh I worry when you speak like this but you are not alone! Sometimes I feel like this is not a life worth living! I won't tell you it's going to get better . I can't tell you just hang on..my only advice is that you have to be open to anything to try for you pain if it is that bad..I don't know your reasons but I didnt want to go on any pain medication because I was scared and ashamed. Also it is not recommended for fibromyalgia because it apparently doesn't help the pain is all I have read. I now take pain medication and the pain isnt as bad on some days.. I am not telling you to take pain medication I am just saying please be open to trying other things other than lyrica and Gabapentin..we are all different and our bodies all react differently.. maybe turmeric might help maybe magnesium maybe Isabella maybe medical marijuana? I don't know what the answer is for you ..it's something you have to find on your own.. I am not trying to judge you..I am only sharing my story to let you know that you are not alone!

Jul 27, 2016 3:41 AM

Yeah unfortunately I'm one of those people where it's hard to find anything to help because it messes with my othe illnesses. It's tough trying to find a doctor who really wants to help. I had one, but he moved to Canada. Normally I do use cannabis but right now I'm in a state that doesn't allow it so it sucks to have the one thing that did help gone. (Was living in WA). I appreciate the concern but I'm glad you understood that the "suicide" is a thought of why live like this as opposed to the actual act of suicide. I also have no support system so when I found this app I decided to vent with this horrific flare up I'm having. Thanks so much.

Jul 27, 2016 3:44 AM

Anytime you need to talk I am here to listen you can even send me a private message if you want . I understand more than you know!

Jul 27, 2016 3:46 AM

Thank you so much you have no idea what that means to me. To even just have someone to talk to, no one has offered me that, not even the therapist. So thank you and I wish you many blessings.

Jul 27, 2016 4:19 AM

Here for u Kole...we all are hunni 🌷 u can talk about anything here 🤗... allot of us here have walked the fine line between life and desperation... but u have found us now...a great community of people whom really DO understand 👭👱👵👨🤗
U r never far from an ear to listen to u... or a hug to comfort u 🌷we are never far away x


Jul 27, 2016 12:15 PM

Welcome to our community family Kole! I've been here for several years now, and have truly come to feel like we are one big family, who truly loves, cares, & understands. I've fought the suicide dragon twice myself; the latest was as a result of being on cymbalta... Bad drug for me.

Curiously enough I have extreme allergies to most pain meds & psychiatric drugs. I was tested genetically, and I have the MTHFR gene defect, which means I cannot breakdown and absorb folate (B9). Folate is very important for many reasons, which I can't remember exactly right now (fibro fog), but depression can be affected by it. I have a second gene defect which causes me to over metabolize (breakdown and absorb) benzodiazepine meds. I have tramadol for breakthrough & fibro flare pain, but reserve what few pain meds I can take for surgeries.

I am managing to cope with Tylenol arthritis, tramadol as needed, muscle relaxer, voltaren gel, migraine meds, antidepressant& anxiety med, melatonin, magnesium, D3. I also walk my treadmill every day I can, slow but steady, along with stretches and relaxation. I'd not been doing the vitamin supplements or stretches & relaxation until others in the group commented on how helpful they were for them. Be willing to try alternate treatments, because we are all different, and no one"way of coping" fits everyone.

We all differ in our types of chronic pain, but we understand where other healthy people can't. You can vent, laugh, cry, pray, send positive energy or hugs, whatever you need here, and we don't judge. You should never feel like you don't belong. And don't be afraid to ask questions or ask for support. We are all here for each other. Take your time to adjust, accept, and find a way to move forward; one step, one choice, one day at a time. Hugs love & prayers as you find your best way to cope through it all! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Jul 27, 2016 12:21 PM

Thank you to everyone. It definitely is a process and just when you think you've coped, it finds a way to just laugh and say nope now I'm flaring up amd doing this. I don't feel so alone now after joining here. I'm hoping to get a doctor appt with an endocrinologist soon for deeper and further testing as I've stated before I'm burdened with a ton.

Jul 27, 2016 6:15 PM

HopE today finds you in a better place mentally. I can tell you I have been right there pissed off because I woke up in pain and thought being dead would be so much better...not. Sometimes you just have to let it out of your head. There will be better days and not better days that is the truth. I cannot blow sunshine up your butt. I am a matter of fact kinda person. Pot is what works best for me too. However in Texas it is not legal. My stand on that topic is that it is only illegal if you get caught. Please know that while we are strangers we truly care about you. If you ever want to talk just PM me. I have a great ear! Always room for a new friend, as you probably know it is lonely when you have chronic pain issues.

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