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Jan 26, 2016 1:21 AM

Just watched an episode of Nurse Jackie from Showtime. I know that desperation, but I don't snort, steal, or do anything unethical or immoral. BUT, I count my pills religiously. They are my life jacket, help me keep afloat or I would be 6 feet under:\

Jan 26, 2016 1:31 AM

In understand but just be careful cause that's how it all starts I never touched a drug in my life b4 my wreck and I took the pills as described but then my doc got in trouble and I was Sol w no meds and omg it goes from taking them snorting them smoking or shooting . I couldn't afford my pills after about two yrs of buying them from friends . I lost everything cause if I didn't have them I'd b so sick and hurt. And then someone shot me w herion it was cheaper and I thought the smarter choice I threw away 8 yrs of my life and honestly it went by so fast I just can't believe it . I finally saidbi had enough and quit cold turkey on April 2015. I never ever thought that I could b that person . I never stole from anyone one I stole from stores. I sold drugs and I've almost been killed twice and that wasnt even a wake up call I had a gun to my head twice. I just decided I didn't want this life anymore and if I don't quit now I'll be dead soon. Just b careful cause u have no idea until ur in that position

Jan 26, 2016 1:35 AM

I know it's a fine line that could be crossed at any time , ty for responding and sharing your story; )

Jan 26, 2016 1:36 AM

No problem I've been there b4 and I wished someone would of stopped me but they didn't

Jan 26, 2016 9:26 AM

Livinwlupus, thank you for bravely sharing your story with us. That is very scary and by the Grace of God and your inner strength, you pulled through and got your life back on track. I have never had any desire to snort my medications. I have always been afraid that I would overdose if I did because you're getting that dose of medicine that is meant to last over time in one fell swoop. Thank goodness I am afraid of that. I am on some pretty heavy duty meds and they basically take the edge off and help me to function. It's the best I can do until my pain management office gets certified for the medical marijuana program here in NY. I just wish I knew ahead of time if it would even be worth my time or money to try it. I smoked 30 years ago but not since. It's not like it's not everywhere.. I know people who know people.. LOL!! I just would not take the chance of losing what little relief I get from my pain meds. Sending {{{Hugs}}}, prayers and thanks again for sharing such a personal story with us. It's a warning that anyone on meds should heed.πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Jan 26, 2016 3:39 PM

Livinwlupus, thank you for sharing your story. I'm so thankful that you are here to share it. Many branches of my family is riddled with alcoholics and drug addicts. And you are so right, they didn't see it coming and it nearly ruined their lives. Having lived in it I'm terrified of it happening to me. From 2007 to 2014 I was using a sleeping pill just to get partial sleep, due to the pain. Towards the end I had doubled my dose. Then I realized I was dependent and couldn't sleep without it. My PCP and psychiatrist began weaning me off of it. Long story short, I sleep better now with behavior modifications (changes in routine before bed) and antidepressant that also helps my pain.

Newty, I hope you can find a way to get better relief. Please reach out to us in the community anytime you feel a need. There's no judgement here, only live and support. Hugs & prayers! πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

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