I've been pain free for almost two weeks, and for some reason this has caused my depression to resurface, I don't know how to cope, my fiancé is wonderful and tries to help and support me. However I struggle to express how I feel to him, I don't know how to tell him that him helping me when I needed it made me feel useless, I don't know how to tell him I just feel depressed. I put on a smile and laugh when I'm with him because I'm afraid to hurt him. He's admitted before that me being depressed makes him feel worthless, this puts me in an awkward and horrible situation as I'm then left with no choice but to hide my feelings. My work aren't helping much, they keep just giving me more and more hours to a point I'm physically exhausted, I get so tired I can't actually sleep. Last night I managed 4 hours sleep, the 3 nights before I didn't sleep and the night before that I slept for an hour. I lay awake and stare and the ceiling, or I go outside and play with my puppy, I do anything to make myself more tired, but I can't sleep. I feel like I'm stuck in a hole, there's a rope I can see yet I can't reach. I'm so confused about everything, as I'm feeling stupid writing this post because I'd rather talk to people I don't know than to my fiancé, my family or people I'm 'close' to. Somebody please help, I'm getting close to giving up and I'm scared.