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PAIN is Like Oxygen , You don’t See IT

Aug 10, 2018 5:42 AM

I would like to know do any other pain sufferers ever have to tell people that are unknowledegable how pain does not have to be seen to know it’s there? I explain it by saying just like Pain , oxygen is not seen but we know it exist because we need it to breathe. I have a 34 year old son that became angry with me 8 months ago because I would have to cancel week long grand kid sleepovers. I explained to him I could no longer help him as much , while his wife slept every evening after work and all weekends long , and his live-in mother-in-law refused to help at all with the 2 grandkids. So one day my husband and younger son had an idea , they ask the 34 year old to go with me to my Physical Therapist and Pain Dr, after listening and watching my painful struggles, my older son was riddle with so much guilt and so many apologies, that I think I saw his eyes water up. Because he then realized what he hadn’t seen did indeed exist, he heard my Dr discuss my diagnoses, procedures, and saw my struggles live and in color, he told me MOM “ I have been selfish , and unappreciative and I am so sorry. He admitted he needed to ask his wife to get out of bed and stop getting angry with me for saying I was in pain when he had a 29 year old healthy wife he needed to motivate to do better

Sep 27, 2018 1:10 PM

Cb1227, isn't it amazing how witnessing our struggles firsthand changes their mind? My hubby didn't understand until I started having him go to my appts with me. And he lived with me daily, but apparently wore blinders. Now he comes to my defenses faster then I do!

Sep 27, 2018 1:59 PM

Yeah FlappysLady it is amazing how because we put up such a brave face others just assume we are ok. I still have to remind my hubby with my Pain I can no longer wait on him , bring his meals to bed, tote his Laundry 2 flights of stairs, so he has to put forth an effort himself. Sometimes he shows compassion, but there are other times he pouts because he has had to do things on his own. I guess my Alpha Female, independence behavior hurts me now that I can no longer get out of bed some times, I lay in pain for days without eating a meal because they are waiting for me to climb stairs to cook and clean for them

Sep 27, 2018 6:01 PM

Cb1227 I totally agree, we put a brave face on for our loved ones but then that becomes a curse because then they can't see our pain or the extent of the pain we feel. I'm glad your son now understands

Sending you love and prayers 🤗🙏🌹

Sep 28, 2018 9:23 PM

Yes, we neglect ourselves some times to care for others. Like today I missed lunch and didn't eat supper until late, dealing with my stepmom transfer from hospital to rehab facility. I'm beat so I just ate cereal. 😴

Oct 01, 2018 10:59 AM

Yeah, I get it... I have 2 teenager's who keeps me busy one with work and the other with thier school club's and doctors appointments for thier Autoimmune disease, and my step daughter who is special needs. I feel like I'm constantly on the go and then thier is of course the house to worry about, it does get overwhelming especially when I have a flair up. But like you and do many other's I try not to let them know I am in pain and push it until my kids catch on and Mom gets scolded 😒😆. Then I have to listen to rational and sit down and let them take over. But my personality and a mom hates it.

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