I am living in a world where pain dominates my life, I have done so for several years now and there is not much hope of ever returning to the life I had before. I've not had an accident which has led to my disabilities, no. I have been diagnosed with:-
Degenerative osteoarthritis in my spine, it has destroyed my knees, my feet, it is centred in my spine and has caused two current stenosis one in the lumbar and the more serious one in my neck at C3/4, threatening to paralyse me at any moment. I have been walking around with a broken neck for two years now, and finally it has reached the stage that emergency surgery is now the only option to save what little life I have left. The neurological team have been unable to operate until now because I have acute fibromyalgia which increases any pain by up to 70% and the risks of surgery combined with this has been too great so I have had to suffer in reletative silence.
I am on huge amounts of opiates which barely touch the sides of my pain and sometimes it has been ever so inviting to just take a load of them and fall asleep, never to awake, yet never return to consciousness to face a life of unimaginable pain
I read the topics on the forums often, yet I get no solice, no feeling of support from them, all they seem to do is talk about God! God is good, God is powerful, God is thinking of you, prayers, Jesus, and again God. Why oh why do we have to have religion involved in these forums, it drives me nuts!!