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pain until death do we part

Jun 30, 2015 3:28 AM

August 20, 2015 will mark 8 years of intensive pain without any relief what's so ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 30, 2015 9:03 AM

Clr1961Rip, I'm sorry for your constant pain with no relief. I have constant pain but mostly it's on a tolerable level (4-6). But the past 1 1/2 days it's risen to 9-10 because of having too much I have to get done before going to Mayo for unknown tremors. When I went to bed last night I was on the verge of tears. I'm slightly better today but barely. Mine is primarily due to fibro, sjogrens, and Arthritis flare with a migraine right now. I had to take 4 as needed meds to get my pain down enough to get some sleep. Unfortunately I have an appointment today so I can't rest. When I am able to rest, I use voltaren gel, rice packs (heated or frozen as needed), a massaging shower, and read/music/comedy to try and alleviate the pain. I need more epidural steroid blocks to my neck & lumbar but they won't do anymore until I'm seen at Mayo in 2 weeks. I'm also using tumeric and magnesium tabs because of everyone's good results on here. I've had the DDD & osteoarthritis since the 90's, but everything else exploded on me starting in 2008-2009... And keeps growing. This community of support has been my best support.

If you don't mind my asking: What have you tried for OTC relief? What does your docs have you on for relief? What is the cause of your pain?

I will add you to my prayers, that someone somewhere can help bring you some relief. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 30, 2015 10:19 AM

Cir1961Rip, I am very sorry for your pain. I understand what you are going through. I've been in pain every day without a break for the last 22 years. It's definitely a nightmare but you have definitely come to the right place. You are in good company with many wonderful people who truly understand because we have walked a mile in your shoes. We are here whenever you need to chat, vent, laugh, cry, no matter what you need and this is a no judgement zone. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you have some relief that allows you to rest.

Jun 30, 2015 10:04 PM

Cir1961Rip Welcome to our family. I am so sorry that you haven't been able to get any relief from your pain all of these years. You have found a group of the most compassionate people I have ever met. This is a place that you can come where there is no judgment on anything you may say. You can rant and rave all you want believe me we have all been there and done it, and will probably do it again. Someone is always here and will reach out to you. Will be praying for you.

Jul 02, 2015 3:26 PM

I'm so sorry you are all going through so much pain. Mine started 8 years ago , rotator cuff tearing,
Operate to mend it and recovery simple. Well I wasn't getting better the pain kept increasing
And I could'nt work so I went through the long process to get disability all the while I informed
My doctor I'm not getting better I needed him to sign some disability papers for me, his reply and
I quote I can't sign these papers because I don,'t know how much pain your feeling my reply I told
You how I'm feeling are you calling me a liar his reply no but I can't sign. that was in 2008-2010.
And within that time span was given nothing for the paln
As the years went by it was getting worse my right shoulder was on fire I could barely use it.
In 2011 I went to see another specialist. MRI's, ex rays, you name it I under went each process
And still nothing to relieve the pain. It was finally diagnosed as a retear and a 2nd operation to re-
Repair my shoulder that was performed in 2013 medication was finally given but my system could'nt
Take it. Than more intense pain was diagnosed with tearing and tendonitis in my left shoulder procedures were taken once again surgery had to be done. Right hand started paining me could'nt hold anything could'nt write diagnosed tumor/cyst entwined had to be removed that surgery was also in
2013. Found out also need 2 cornea transplants and the tumor in my hand had regrown .
Now in July 2015 here's where I'm at. right shoulder at a level 9-10, left shoulder level 8-9 pending
Surgery, right hand level 5-6 pending surgery, transplants for both eyes no pain but can't see without
Using 20x magnifyer pending surgery. I've been put on hold for everthing until they can figure out why my right Shoulder is still in so much pain. No medication to ease even a smigen of all the pain I'm
Suffering for 8 long years. 9 years this august with no end in site. I guess this is my destiny pain until
Death do we part.
Know one has ever shown me any concern before I wish to thank you for yours

Jul 02, 2015 3:50 PM

Clr1961rip, Have you heard of Thoracic Outlet Syndrome? I accidentally stumbled upon it looking for something to do with my daughter's shoulder pain. It's quite interesting and it may have something to do with your pain. Google it and read the articles. I hope it's helpful. God bless you!

Jul 06, 2015 11:54 PM

Clr1961rip have you tried a pain management dr? I know none of the specialists I've seen for my conditions would ever give me pain meds, but finally one referred me to a pain management dr and he's been a lifesaver! I wouldn't be able to get out of bed without my pain meds. As it is, I can't do much, but I can get out of the house once in awhile to keep my sanity, or what's left of it. It is ridiculous in this age with everything that's available to help chronic pain, that you're not being given anything!

Jul 07, 2015 4:20 AM

Yes I agree with Danal 22 it is rediculious for some to suffer like you are doing. Hopefully you can get a referral to a pain specialist soon. Here's sending you hugs and prayers.

Jul 12, 2015 2:31 PM

Saw a new pi
Saw a new pain specialist, actually it's the 3rd one i've seen. Prescribed pain patch submitted it to
Pharmacy took them 24 days to inform me I'm not covered for this medication. Paid out of pocket
For 1 month 234.59 4 patches 1 every 7 days. 1st day nothing 2nd day felt sick, clammy, sweating,
Felt faintish and for the next 5 days was throwing up. Where you put the patch is where the
Reduction of the pain is supposed to decrease 2% was what I received along with being sick which
Shakes my body which increases the rest of the pain in my body was it worth the cost, the 2%
Decrease in pain? Hell no. I'll be seeing another specialist about a nerve blocker, I don't know
What that is or what it entails. When is enough,enough? It's like those poor individuals who are
Alive only by machines their alive but they'll never live again.I'm getting no help just the long distance
Run around. is that living? i can't believe how much we are all suffering so. And there is absolutely
No one to help us. So what's the answer? Because as sure as hell, their not answering our
Questions.

Jul 13, 2015 6:41 AM

Clr1961Rip, the answer is one day at a time... One moment, one hour, one second at a time. Also to keep talking with us (because we know what you're going through and can offer support), also to try and find another doctor that may have a better and more effective way to treat you. If the insurance company won't pay for your medication then call the manufacturer and see if they will get it to you at a discount. There are companies that will do that. I wish I had more answers for you. I'm on a tremendous amount of medication and I still carry a pain level of 8.5 daily on medication- I take 100mg of Morphine ER three times a day, 30mg of Oxycodone four times a day for breakthrough, 1mg of Ativan three times a day for anxiety (which isn't helping me right now), 4mg of Zanaflex four times a day for the cramping and spasms and 30mg of Restoril to sleep at night but it has not been working. I try to take as little meds as possible throughout the day but most of the time need to take the majority of it because I can't function with the pain otherwise. It seems unfair and not getting answers doesn't help either. However, there's a reason for us all to be here and have these issues and only God knows why. Perhaps it's to help us become better people or show us how to be more compassionate and sympathetic towards others. I don't know. But there is beauty, love and happiness all around us. Life is worth living no matter what. We just have to take advantage of lower pain days to be aw to do the things we love and then, of course, we pay for it later or the next day but it's usually worth it. I hope that you find the support you need here and that you find a doctor that can help you. I'll keep you in my prayers. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Jul 15, 2015 8:41 PM

I do wish I could share sure sedimetality . I never had any love growing up. My father never cared for me, my older brother tried to kill me six times since my birth, god how he hated me on sight. He resorted to tormented me for the first 16 years of my life. I suppose mum did what she could, she
Raised 5 of us. Dad was always overseas for which he always put the order in. Our last duty
Station was Hawaii I had just turned 16 and I was such a mess emotionally,mentally. My parents
Did nothing to stop him in fact when dad decided to stay in the states I had two to contend with.
The other kids were never bother by him or dad just me. To this day I can't wrap my brain around
The fact that two people in my family hated me so terribly just for being born. Started drinking,
Drugs, staying out all night got worse and worse had no one to help me I even asked for help.
One thing I did do right was I always worked mostly in the hospitality industry any laborish job.I took
Care of mum before she died colon cancer now I'm taking care of dad. He still treats me horribly
But I do what I have to. Older brother died. Other siblings never gave a damn about me. I grew up
Always caring about others always giving of my self. But I also grew up having no closure any aspect
Of my life. I have had nightmare of my past,present,and further going on 50 years now. You cannot
Put the past behind you if your present is still filled with misery nor is it possible to let go if your
Subconscious will not allow it. I've tried to get help through the years. No takers. I'm a very kind and
Giving loving individual who i guess just wasnt meant to have any love in her life. So that added
With my physical pain it's a bit difficult to find something around me in the name of love.. I really
Do wish I could ease your constant torment but as you said life isn't fair. You can't rationalize it
Whats that saying people use today, oh yeah it is what it is. I wish everyone toward a healthier
Life and try to enjoy the special moments that we are given.

Jul 17, 2015 11:41 AM

Clr1961rip, you described life in a dysfunctional family. I lived in one to and suffered abuse. But I was the youngest of four and benefited being taken under our grandmother's protection. She didn't want me to travel the same path as the others. Watching them I chose at a very early age to do different, be different. As you described yourself going into jobs of hospitality and serving others, I believe you choose to be different to. I sense a gentle and compassionate person in you, just from what you posted. None of us can control what others do, we can only control ourselves.

I'm so very sorry for what you suffered through. I wish there was an easy way to let it all go, erase it from our minds. I like to think I've managed to do that fairly well, by just forgiving the wrong behaviors and working with counselors to move forward, forgetting the past. But there are scars I still carry (like being hard to trust others, suspicions and fear), and now and then the memories try to creep back in. It's a constant battle to keep them at bay.

I don't know you other than here. But we have a kinship, first for the chronic pain and second for the dysfunction we survived through. Trust me when I say there were many days growing up that I would sit and cry, holding my doll or dog, and questioning God for my existence. Through it all, throughout my life, God taught me compassion and love for all human beings, regardless of what others saw in them. I can honestly say I love you and everyone here as friends. I care about the pain suffered and I pray for pain to lessen for all, and for strength and endurance to survive through it. You are not alone here! (((Hugs))) & prayers for you to find pain relief, and love & comfort from others. πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jul 25, 2015 12:07 PM

Thank you for your compassionate words they are very much appreciated , and thank you for the hugs I I believe their meant to mean something special for everyone. I,ve never been hugged before so I,m guessing How one feels when they receive one. It's been years but i'm afraid I don't believe in hope,
Or faith anymore , they never have been my allies. Don't you and the rest of you, try not to lose the
Faith.for most of us , it's all we have to hold on to. There is just to much despair and anguish and anger within me, surrounding me, it's no wonder faith and hope walked out my door. I'll not be writing any
More, It gets harder and harder for me to see anything anymore. Will be thinking about all of your
Kind words and thoughts . wish all of you nothing but the very best in this life and even the next. By
My way of thinking life owes you something extra special.

Jul 25, 2015 12:38 PM

Hi,
Just a comment your writing is intriguing to me, feels like the words could be lyrics. Is there a chance you'd let me try to make a song out of it?
Sorry off topic, what alternative methods have you tried? After 8 years, there must have been a bunch of experimentation. A couple pain killers that helped me are kava root, magnolia bark extract, chewing raw garlic, kratom teas, DMSO for mobility, lemon balm for nerve pain.

Jul 27, 2015 9:51 AM

Clr1961rip, I'm praying for you still. I'm praying for you to find a small seed of hope and faith. Just a tiny amount can build & grow. I'm praying for you to find comfort. You're not a nobody who doesn't count. You are as important to God as everyone else. You are important to me, because you can't here with pain asking for support and understanding. Please help us to help you.

You are somebody special, you just have to find what you have to offer others, ways to help others, as in your jobs. Your abilities are only part of your worth. You must believe you are special, and shake off the dirt and grime others planted in your mind to deliberately hurt you. They were liars, who used hurtful words and actions to make themselves feel better about themself. You are someone special. Don't stop using the community. Let the community help you and share your burden. Talking about it is part of being able to shake it off, to free yourself and finally see the real YOU, and see your real worth as a human being. No human is worthless, though their are many who choose to be and live ugly lives. Your chronic emotional and psychological pain is important for you to work through so that you can deal with the physical pain. To shake off things that are negative in your life may require you to put distance between yourself and things or those who seek to harm you.

My grandmother always told me, "To have a friend you must be a friend. To receive blessings that are all over the world you must give wholeheartedly of yourself, without expecting anything in return. You will be surprised at the little things that happen to bring blessings of happiness, love, & contentment into your life, regardless of the struggles. Life isn't fair and equal. There will always be difficult times, struggles to get through. Never forget your blessings; the air you breathe, the shelter you live in, the clothes on your back, the food you eat, your income. Things in your life everyone takes for granted, they're blessings. And if you have one or two very close friends, rather than many acquaintances, feel very blessed. Remember to be thankful always."
My grandmother was a very smart woman, not in books, but in general life. Many years later I realized her knowledge came from books in the Bible, like Proverbs, Psalms & Ecclesiastes. She learned compassion, love, and faith there.

Have you considered having a pet? Animals bring unconditional love & commitment into people's lives. I lost my last one over a year ago and missed him terribly. We only recently adopted another dog, and trust me when I say he knows when I need extra attention or comfort. A pet doesn't replace a human hug or contact, but there are many people alone in this world and all they have is their pets. Praying for you to find a little hope, a little faith, in yourself and in others, and of God. To find God you must seek Him. Don't give up on yourself or others or life! I promise you will never feel alone in this community. I'll be here for you! πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸ’•

Jul 27, 2015 10:41 AM

Cir1951rip, please know that your pain and anguish has not fallen on deaf ears. It saddens me terribly to think of someone who feels so lost they have no hope or faith and never received a hug. I wish I was nearby because I would get in my car right now and come give you that hug (that everyone needs to have in their lives). I hope that you stay with the community. Please continue to write, even if just to unload the burden you are carrying with you from day to day. There is a reason we are all here and a reason we were dealt with the health issues and pain that we live with. There is only one who knows that reason. Flappsy is right, the tiniest seed of hope and faith can grow and blossom. Believe me, after 22 years of constant and chronic pain, I've questioned my faith and felt that I lost hope. This community has helped me a great deal with both. It has also helped me connect with many wonderful men and women who have embraced me and made me feel (and know) that no matter what, I'm never alone. There are many people here who will be here for you, no matter what (myself included) and know that I am always just a keystroke away. Please don't give up on finding help, let us help you to help yourself And most of all, please don't give up on you!! You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

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