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pains bad today n depression setting in

Jun 19, 2015 4:01 PM

This weeks pains have been bad, I can hardly stand up or sit down or stand or walk! To end this rotten week I get a call from my mom today letting me know my aunt had passed away. I am not a fighting person and I get along with everyone, but when my cousin tells me to go to hell because I can't make it to the funeral because of court order issues I have to take care of in another state! She was never there for my aunt and didn't appreciate what she had when she was there! I'm going out of my mind and heartbroken! I haven't had a problem with depression in 3 years! I can feel myself spiraling downward fast. Don't worry I'm not going to hurt myself, I love my kids to much for that.

Jun 19, 2015 7:14 PM

Moparmom, I am so sorry for the loss of your Aunt. I lost my Uncle several months ago. I was sick with a cold and my Aunt, & cousin who was fighting cancer himself, were both physically drained. Out of fear of spreading what I had to them we all agreed for me not to be there. It hurt really bad because we were close.

Your cousin may just be hurting too bad to rationalize right now. When my mom died all the burden feel on me for her services and estate. I was overwhelmed beyond normal and has been the whole 14 months before her death. Two of my cousins called to express their sympathy but weren't coming (non valid reasons), but being much older than me they tried to tell me what & how to do things. At the time of the funeral I was so numb I moved like a robot. But a few weeks later I wrote them both very angry letters. Then four months later my mom's death really hit me and I broke down crying at work, and didn't know why. I was sent to a psych doc who helped me through the 7 stages of grief. I have apologized to my cousins because I really want myself, but it wasn't an excuse. I'm telling you my experience to let you know, in the moment of grief people sometimes say or do things they regret later. I can't say it that's your cousins behavior (from what you wrote it's not likely), but don't let her behavior towards you get you down and out.

You have to do what you have to do, you can't go against a court order. Grief alone causes depression, on top of that caused by chronic pain. Be careful not to let it go to long without talking to your doctor. I'll be praying for you and your family! 🙏🌼

Jun 19, 2015 10:40 PM

Thank You FlappysLady..it's nice to be able to vent and talk to someone, someone who understand's.

Jun 20, 2015 12:01 PM

MoparMom, I am so very sorry for your loss. I remember when my Grandmother passed away, I was sick and didn't go into her hospital room because I didn't want to get her sick so I looked through the window and blew her a kiss and told her in Greek that I loved her always. The next morning, she unexpectedly died. I was riddled with guild and so sad that I deprived my Grandmother the touch of my hand, a hug, one last kiss. I know it's very hard. I wish you peace in your time of sorrow and offer my deepest sympathies.

Jun 20, 2015 3:08 PM

Mopar Mom I am so sorry for your loss, it's sounds trite but I understand what you are going thru. I lost my sweet mother in 2000 due to a fall and broken hip. It is a hard thing to go through just try and fall back on your faith and that one day you will see her smiling face again in heaven. Will be praying for your family.

Jun 23, 2015 1:59 PM

Thank You everyone for your prayer's and concerns. They are burying my Aunt today so she may finally rest in peace. I decided to focus on my immediate family and what I have to handle coming up and not the other things my cousin has decided to throw at me since I posted, my pain is enough to handle without her drama and I decided that since I can't be there I am going to light a candle in her memory and remember the good times.

Jun 23, 2015 10:27 PM

May God bless you Moparmom! 🌹 ((hugs)) 🙏🌼

Jun 23, 2015 11:09 PM

MoparMom that is probably the best thing you can do for now. Let your cousin know that you love her and when she is ready you will be there for her. She is hurting and lashing out at you ,but after a while she will come to realize you had no choice you had to obey the law. Will be praying for you.

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