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Poetry is one of my escapes

Mar 18, 2017 9:29 AM

If I seem distracted
Or confused
Perhaps a bit rattled
Or maybe
It might seem
I am
Ignoring
You...

Please remember
Things aren't always
What they
Seem.
Sometimes
On a scale
Of one to ten.
Ten being the worse
As in
Can't hardly breathe
Through the
Pain
Don't touch me
I might shatter
Kind of pain.
The I can't think
My thoughts are
Foggy kind of pain.
I might be at
A ten
Plus...

I can hide it
If I sit real still.
I have gotten good
At tucking it away.
Most never see
This side of
Me.
Where you see
Melanie
But the truth is
A part of me
Is hiding
In plain sight.
The pain.

It's there
24/7
Some days are better
Than others.
I don't remember
When it wasn't
There.
If we make plans
And I have to
Bow out.
Please remember
I have no control
Over when
A bad day
Will hit

I'm not lazy
I'm not faking
It's not
All In my head
Fibromyalgia
My burden
To bear.

So remember
Please
That I am still
Me
But there are times
When it takes
All I have
Just to breathe.
Try to
Understand
Instead of
Walking away.

3/17/14 by Melanie AKA Dreamweaver

Note: just some free verse on this insomniacle kind of night. If ya can't sleep may as well either read or write. :)

Mar 18, 2017 10:10 AM

Wow another beautiful piece of poetry, thank you x

Mar 18, 2017 10:31 AM

I’m so tired of fighting this every day
This pain is too much to endure
Please don’t let me pull away
Please don’t let me fade
I’ve no more strength
No more tears
No energy
Here
Me
And life
Trying to breathe
To hold onto something
Blindly reaching for a hand
Steadfast, solid letting me be me
The darkness clears, I see you there
And although the pain remains, I’m not alone.

~~ Dreamweaver ~~
AKA Melanie Woodruff

Mar 18, 2017 10:39 AM

A
N
G
E
R
!



Thats what you left behind.
Bitterness - Your legacy!
A family split not in two
but torn asunder.

The seams began to tear
with that first drink.
All hope was lost
By the time

You took your last.
For it was death
that greeted you
at the bottom
of that glass.

And the children
You left behind
Follow your broken trail.
The beat goes on.

A
L
C
O
H
O
L

Round and round
and round it goes.
Will it stop?
No body knows.

And one son.
Stands alone
Dealing with his

A
N
G
E
R

Repressed emotions
towards a father
he never knew.

Wishing he had known
The sober you.

And now its too late.
Alcohol was your fate.
R.I.P.

For those you left behind
Can't.

** Written about a friend of my daughters who lost his father and is currently losing his mother to alcohol. Unfortunately he is also losing himself. **

This poem was used be a few different AA groups over the years.

Melanie Woodruff
2007
Melanie at 5:54 PM
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Mar 18, 2017 10:43 AM

Foerevermore
What is it that you want from me? Can’t you see I’ve nothing left to give.
You had my heart once, and left it shattered yet I am supposed to forgive
And again let you in? I wonder what kind of fool you believe I am?
To even think I would put myself and us through all of that once again?

Oh please. You don’t love me. You are feeling lonely and somewhat blue
Your life hasn’t turned out the way you had dreamed and wanted it to.
But your burdens are not mine to bear. I can’t make everything right.
So please let me go. Send my heart back to me this much awaited night.

We tried, we failed, it is time to accept what is and get on with living
It’s no ones fault, we gave it our best. Our love was continually fading.
Turn and walk away now, don’t look back. There’s nothing left here.
If you must take something, take not my heart, but memories held dear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And on a gentle breeze a soft voice echoes through the crevices and door
Goodbye my love, remember me. For I will hold you dear forevermore.
But alas the silence enters in, and is deafening in its eternal roar
As she remembers the love.. forevermore, forevermore, forevermore.

copyrighted 2/27/03

Mar 18, 2017 10:47 AM

My Dearest Friend
My Dearest Friend:


I wonder if you know, my friend, just how special you are to me? It seems as if we have always been friends and yet we only met a few short months ago.

In that time you have taken up residence in this heart of mine. Although parted by thousands of miles you have often reached out and dried my tears. You have shared your laughter and in fact I can close my eyes and still hear your laughter ringing in my ears.

I have learned so much from you in such a short time. I have learned about life, and about death. I have learned about accepting and letting go. And I have learned the importance of me, by seeing me through your eyes.

You have touched my soul when I thought it was dead. In the middle of winter you showed me Spring, and bought back to life the wonder of newbirth. Not just in the physical world but in my soul and heart.

Who would of ever imagined us connecting? What were the chances of finding you out of all the millions of people online? Astronomical I would imagine. And yet it happened. By chance? I think not!

When nightmares awaken me in the middle of the night I have but to reach out with my heart and you are there. Your gentle soul tenderly calms my fears and I can soon snuggle back down with a sigh.

But alas I hear the distant drums calling you home. Yet even in the afterlife I know our hearts have touched and forever we will be connected. For us there will be no good-bye..

And so I want you to know, my most precious of friends. That it was no accident, our finding each other. Our paths were destined to cross, and we will forever be connected, soul to soul.

Dreamweaver

Written in 2003 for my dearest Friend Charlie. He lost his fight with cancer in 2004

Mar 18, 2017 10:48 AM

I need to start writing again..

Mar 18, 2017 10:52 AM

Another one:

You Are Not Alone
You sit all alone, cursing the night
Heart wrenching cries on wings take flight
Pain overwhelms and insomnia moves in
The odds stack against you, it’s a fight you can’t win.
People don’t understand you, friends move on
Marriages crumble, lives come undone.
You mourn the life that you once had
Looking back, you can’t help but feel sad.
You’re not alone though, I want you to know.
I hear your voices everywhere I go.
I know how you feel, I live with this too.
So take my hand, I am here for you.
I’ll be there when you need to vent, cry, yell or scream
And I’ll also be there as you reach for your dreams.
Fighting an invisible illness is not something I would wish on you
But bring us all together, we will see each other through!
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Myofascial Pain and more
Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity and Gulf War.
“Syndromes”, They say. “The cause is unknown.”
Then they give you a pill and send you home.
Illnesses that affect 12-15 million Americans alone
Women, Men, and children! Something needs to be done.
I won’t take this lying down anymore.
We need research if we are to find a cure.
Not only research but more education is needed
Doctors need to know how we should be treated.
It’s all in your head they often will say
I’ll gladly let them live in my shoes for a day.
So come take my hand as we fight the good fight
Advocating for awareness for what we know is right.
You’re not alone my friend, I give you my word.
I won’t stop until I know your voices are heard!
~~ dreamweaver ~~
AKA Melanie Woodruff

Mar 18, 2017 10:55 AM

Moonlight Rhapsody
Watching the stars as they danced tonight
Thousands of fireflies taking flight
To the sound of a haunting melody
From natures orchestra's Moonlight Rhapsody
Enchanted by the Nature's throng
She rises up to dance alone
Her heart cries out singing her soul song
Awakening that which had been silent too long
Her song it did travel on fairy wings
To another whose own song he'd begun to sing
Her soul song he knew was calling for him
Go to her he must, will she let him in?
The fireflies light the way as the stars look on
They know it is with her that he belongs
She waited alone, a tear escaping her eye
Will he come? Is her heart wrenching cry.
Nature's chorus overtakes her, she begins to dance
Sways to the music, eyes closed, dreams of romance
A kiss, a touch a gentle caress on her cheek
Arms encircling her waist as she dances to the beat.
Oh how she longed for the dream to be reality
A whisper soft and low "Awake my love, look at me."
He pulls her closer, their hearts beat as one
Her eyes open, she see's him. Her twin flame is home.
The stars continue to dance throughout the night
The fireflies and fairies on wing take flight
To the sound of romantic melodies
From nature joined together in harmony.

~~ Dreamweaver ~~
Melanie Woodruff

Mar 18, 2017 10:58 AM

You are lazy!
You will never amount to anything!
No one could love you!
You're ugly!
You are worthless!
You are stupid!
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those words were your words, they don't apply to me.
They belong in the past, they are history.
You sought to destroy me, in many ways you did.
But I have come back now, and am ready to live.
No longer will I be decieved, by your brain washing words.
You are my past, from this day on I walk forwards.
Did you think you had won, when you kicked me out the door.
Did you think I would come running back, begging for more?
No I am much stronger now, I have learned a lot about life.
I don't need you, with all your bitterness, anger and strife.
I have proved you wrong, although you have no way of knowing.
As I re~find me, the me you took, my journey is just beginning.
From you I learned to guard my heart, build up the walls.
I learned to give up on love, faith, God, and friends as well.
I learned violence, and fear. To keep my thoughts all within.
but I was afraid to leave, I lived in a dream world til the bitter end.
With the final words, I don't love you anymore.
You started a chain reaction that continues as I soar.
for looking back, and seeing things through my new perspective.
I see that I am a perfect child of God, complete, I am ready to live.
You set me free, and in doing so I was able to overcome many a thing.
I thank you now, for now I can laugh. In learning to laugh I was able to sing.
Up from the misery of despair where I stayed.
I now look forward to each dawning day.
My eyes have been opened, a burden lifted, once more I can dream.
But not as a way to hide, but because I know things weren't as they seemed.
So thank you my ex, for the lessons I learned.
On how I should be treated, and loved as I journey on.
Learning to trust, letting go to love, are things I am still learning.
But without you here, your past lessons I have started forgetting.
But the lesson I take with me is the one I value most.
Love is not earned, It is given freely, it has no cost.
And in learning that lesson, and applying it to me..
I took the first major step on learning to be free..

~~ Dreamweaver ~~

Mar 18, 2017 11:18 AM

Sorry. Just going through some old poems hoping to find my muse.

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