Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Possible eviction on top of everything

Jul 23, 2015 4:06 PM

My rent is overdue again because of my ongoing battle with my employer about my ability to work or be paid, currently been placed on paid leave but was placed also on a brief suspension. My landlord has been ok so far working with me to let me pay later in the month when I get my second paycheck which would've been today/tomorrow but no paycheck! So no rent money! What's worse is we're supposed to be renewing our lease and she told me the management company doesn't really want to renew with me because of my problems. Now I have absolutely no way to pay rent tomorrow and no where to go. I can't move if I wanted without the help of movers and that's expensive, plus I would need to move somewhere. I feel so overwhelmed, scared, lost, and I have no idea what to do by tomorrow! I know getting worked up and hyperventilating just makes it worse, but I can't calm down except to pass out.

Jul 23, 2015 4:13 PM

That sucks. Sorry you're having to go through all of this. Ironically, at one point I was living with my mom and we moved into a house that needed to be fixed up. For some reason, part of the carpeting smelled like pee, and there were several other issues that needed to be fixed.
We had a lease for a year, fixed it up, then the landlord saw that we had fixed the issues and demanded double the pay. We were kicked out, just for doing what the landlord should have done in the first place.
Do you have any family? If you were around here, I'd offer, but....
Can you appeal to the management company? Or something. Didn't they need to give you further notice? I obviously don't know how this all works, but I hope something gets figured out ASAP.

Jul 23, 2015 4:53 PM

Wynnbliss, what about asking for help via "gofundme?" I've never used it but heard about it on a news story, about a little sick girl who's family needed money help. If you were close by I'd bring you what I could spare, it would help some but it wouldn't pay your rent. ((Hugs)) for comfort & prayers for a blessing! 🙏🌼

Jul 23, 2015 5:16 PM

I have a Gofundme account but it doesn't get much activity. I had nearly $500 donated 6 months ago when hospitalized and then over this past month another $270 for medication and my car payment, all from the same people too. I know they don't have any more to give theyve already done so much! and unless people are donating and sharing your page it disappears from the public searches on the main GoFundMe site so then NOONE can see me at all. I feel pretty defeated on that front. I was scolded by several email contacts for soliciting them, and have lost numerous Facebook friends as well. Including the person I thought was my best friend. Who instead of deleting me started posting about people who "play the victim" and "look for the easy way out through handouts." It's been the hardest thing in the world opening up and asking for help. Having so much negativity and hate returned to me has been heartbreaking. I think I am currently searchable, Aly's Battle w/ Fibromyalgia and Pain. I do not want to appear as though I am soliciting anyone. That is why I did not include the direct link.

Jul 23, 2015 5:41 PM

Thanks for sharing! (((Hugs))). I will help you whatever I can. I'm so sorry for your negative and hateful and hurtful experience. But as with any good intention, bad people always find a way to abuse it. I'd say don't take it personal but that even sounds ridiculous. Those people aren't true friends.

I am a Christian, and I don't attend local churches. I get so frustrated with our local churches. Churches of my childhood no longer exist. Instead they're filled with ideals of growing, not in Christians, but in money and the size & designs of their buildings. If someone asks for help they want to know if you're a member, and if not you get turned down (at least in this area). Christians are suppose to minister to the needs of the sick, elderly, and widows without family.

Too many are no longer doing that . Too many Christians, especially the wealthy ones, will not help someone unless there's something in it for them... A part on the back, recognition, etc. God tells us to do nothing if praise is what we're after.

Sorry for the rant! This is not in criticizing any on here. I apologize if it offends anyone. I'm speaking specifically of churches & Christian in my area. I have received negative and ugly treatment by some here, and I wasn't asking for help. God has always provided our needs. 🙏🌼

Jul 23, 2015 6:14 PM

I have had similar experiences with mega churches when growing up in Colorado. The Mega church money oriented Christianity is prevelant in Colorado. I have been blessed by knowing many caring, giving, Christian individuals who follow Christ in their hearts and truly are good, decent people in and out of any Church or other institution they are affiliated with. I try to focus on them and not lose faith in the community at large. I'm Buddhist myself, of a sect that highly values your roots and past practices so does not require that I reject Christianity, just see it as one more part of my true being.
Again, as Buddhism teaches loving kindness, I find it hard to reconcile the behavior of the selfish, hateful, and negative people in my life. Especially if I cared for them deeply and had thought of them better.
This entire situation keeps breaking my heart over and over again. Losing my health, losing friends, losing my job, losing the security of a place to live. I'm exhausted. I haven't been able to get out of bed today. I feel so weighted down.

Jul 23, 2015 6:36 PM

Wynnbliss 36 what state are you in? I know in California you can stay on after eviction (squat) until they go to court which can takes awhile...unfortunately I had to do that awhile back...

Jul 23, 2015 6:39 PM

California, and that is very good to know. But sucks. Makes me feel a bit better though.

Jul 23, 2015 6:54 PM

There is an eviction process they must follow. So breathe and think of your options. Can you rent a room somewhere? Do you have family to take you in? I stayed in my place for 5 months while they were trying to get me out. It was traumatic. I had to abandon a lot of my things though. I had nowhere to put them and no money for storage.

Jul 23, 2015 7:41 PM

No where else to go. No one to take me in, my parents are busy caring for my bipolar older sister with Lyme; her needs have always outweighed mine. I have always supported myself or helped support my parents and sister. My credit is awful because my ex ruined it and I am still unfortunately on a car loan with him, so he screws it over monthly. I have no savings left, and currently no income until I can straighten things out with my employer through my union. I can't afford the deposit on a new place, or the cost of moving.

Jul 23, 2015 7:43 PM

Wynnbliss, what Sweetiepie said I'd true in GA too. But it's limited at like 2 months max. I'm not real tech savvy but I'm wondering if there are other ways to request help, even for moving. I tried to find your post on go fund me, but it brought up thousands of posts. I'm more familiar with the old timer Western Union! Lol 👵. I'm not on FB for many reasons. I wish they had private chat/email ability here. Is there an ID# to your post?

Thank you for sharing about Buddhism. I'm more ignorant about other religions/faiths than I like. But I judge people by themself, their character traits, not their religious affiliation (or non). I was raised Baptist but disagreed with some of their ways so I'm simply a Christian. I believe in love and kindness to all people everywhere.

Jul 23, 2015 8:58 PM

I'll go on first thing tomorrow. My eye drops have me blurry visioned. Thanks. Try to eat tonight and not worry. 🙏🌼

Jul 23, 2015 9:58 PM

Could you make a second go fund me, but more specifically because you're being evicted for disability, outside of your control.

Jul 23, 2015 9:59 PM

Thanks. I had some lovely ripe avacados that needed to be used on a sandwich. I also researched emergency rent agencies/charities in the area. It was a bit discouraging because they all say there's not enough money to go around and they are extremely selective etc...
I have to make the calls though. Call and pray. The problem isn't going away and next month's rent is just around the corner too.

Jul 23, 2015 11:16 PM

Many times if you are involved in a church they will give you emergency funds. Also try the United way and red cross. You may also check food banks because they would know where to find resources.

Jul 24, 2015 12:29 PM

Made many calls all with the same answers of "we can't help you because..." or "our program is really not for individuals like you, let me give you some other #'s"
In short I was told to get a job ASAP and take care of it myself. Which is exactly what I have been trying to do, but sometimes even the best laid plans don't work out. In tears because each phone call was that much more hope gone, and the people were so rude and condescending.
I don't know what to do or say now. I've lost all hope.

Jul 24, 2015 1:46 PM

I'm so so sorry wynnbliss you are an awesome person and no one deserves this. What part of California are you in? I'm here too, it would be great if we could connect but California is a big place. I know just what you mean about not being able to calm down except to pass out. And I certainly understand the hopelessness and frustration. I won't give up if you won't? These condescending #^+¥?~~#^'s can, well you know what. Hoping you find some comfort today. {{{wynnbliss}}}

Jul 24, 2015 2:49 PM

Thank you Marsemouse. (((Hugs))) to you as well. Being told to basically go begging door to door at local churches was what they last person I spoke with thought of as my best option. I can't begin to convey the ammount of terror that brings up in me. Social anxiety made it difficult enough to make those important phone calls reaching out for help this morning and I was met with cold, condescending, and less than helpful people. I was a wreck and that was over the phone contacting people who are supposed to help with rent as their jobs. I don't want to know the reactions of cold calling or visiting local churches. I am not a member anywhere.
I do feel like giving up. I feel so tired, like I could just close my eyes and never wake up. I will keep fighting though.

Jul 24, 2015 3:21 PM

For those who wanted a separate Gofundme set up, here it is.

Rental Assistance & Eviction Avoidance:


Jul 24, 2015 3:29 PM

I know exactly what you mean. You're using all of your survival energy and reserve just to stay afloat and these people can be truly ignorant, in the most literal sense. Unfortunately many lack the compassion we would expect or at least hope for. I spent the summer before last trying to find anyone to help me when the ex refused to pay court ordered support. It was one of the most lonely and painful times of my life, I could barely make rent and the apartment I took turned out to be a nightmare. I wish we could help each other more, get through these calls, take the next step and cheer each other on when one of us feels like giving up. Meanwhile we can do that here. It is so draining, I wish we could go somewhere beautiful and relaxing and recharge. Maybe someday. I hope you can find something soothing today, I know that fear you speak of all too well. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jul 24, 2015 3:33 PM

My heart goes out to you, wynnbliss...... I am praying for you too.

Jul 24, 2015 6:21 PM

Sadly I was in your position in January this year. Thrown out with nowhere to go with my two children and no money. I am thankful to the council for finding us a roof for two months, to then be offered permanent housing with a housing association. But that's in England. I don't know how it works in California. Is there a council you can go to for homeless accommodation? Or another government group perhaps?
I wish I could give a clear cut answer while you're going through this, just know that it will work out. It's just hard to see that right now. I have complete faith that this will end well for you Wynn. Stay strong. We're here for you, always.

Jul 24, 2015 6:24 PM

I hope you manage to find help from somewhere! Seems there is a lot more help in the UK :(
Thinking of you xxx

Jul 24, 2015 9:23 PM

It does seem like the UK has more/better programs than here in California. Been working the phones all day with a lot of rejection and explanations that while it does sound like I am in a crisis, there's nothing anyone can do because I have either too much need, too little need, no children, no job, but technically still have a job so don't qualify for unemployment... the reasons go on and on... plus then even if I am fortunate enough to make it through the rigorous screening process, then funds are given out by lottery. Might not even see anything even if I qualify and get through the process, wait 3 weeks for the lottery and then what? So exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. Frustrated knowing that even missing one paycheck is derailing so much.

Jul 24, 2015 9:26 PM

Thanks for the links Wynnbliss. You're in my thoughts and prayers, that doors will start to open very soon. 🙏🌼

Jul 26, 2015 6:27 AM

In saddened that the U.S. doesn't have the support in place for societies most vulnerable members. I wish I could help more.
Really hoping things will turn out right very soon for you.

Jul 26, 2015 6:43 AM

In the US they don't care if the poor, young or old or disabled live or die. Only Obama was able to push through Affordable care act which saves my life everyday. If my boyfriend gets tired of me I'd be in the same boat. Horrifying thought.

Jul 26, 2015 7:19 AM

That's incredible. So glad that the Affordable care act went through for you. Horrifying to think how many suffered in a first world country. It's been getting worse here. Current government are making it harder and harder for those of us who are unable to work. But I am grateful every day for the NHS. I'll be damned to allow any government to try and take it away.
It's about time Americans realise the plight of so many of their citizens and give them the help they do sorely need. Especially those in a position of power!

Jul 26, 2015 1:19 PM

I guess what confuses me is when there are so many advertisements about "save the children!" but once you're an adult there's not as much support. PJB, I think you have a good point about people needing resources to survive, but that's not very likely. My step mom's family has a lot more money, and feels comfortable trusting docs.
Meanwhile, my family is working endlessly just to get by, and we're all aware of how much society and docs will try to mess with us. Ironically, my family has been involved in a lot more political movements, and at least around here, my uncle was involved in making public school resources (text books, elective classes, etc.) available to home schoolers.
My grandma works full time, takes care of her disabled little brother and daughter, and volunteers a ton. Is amazing how much work she does, but it's not like there's pay for most of it. I guess that meeting a wealthier family made me realize something, but I didn't realize how trite it was until I could see it in front of my face. The more money you have, the more control you have over it.
Those with power don't have to see us. They have the option to just live their life, the same as anyone else. There are resources available, they're just hard to get with such a majority of people needing help. Locally, I know my family uses catholic community services a lot. They help with bills, food, and toilet paper.
Nothing is perfect, and I doubt it will ever be. Wynn, I really hope you can get some help. Earlier this year, a teacher was deciding to leave the school, but I guess he had a similar situation. He had chemicals pain too, but is better at hiding it. That might be the theater background.
I could try to dip some research, but I'm in Oregon so I'm more familiar with rules here. So sorry you're having to deal with this.

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community