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Sad

Jun 13, 2016 5:38 PM

I'm sad.
Yesterday we went to the mall to walk around and because my bf needed shoes. There are always smokers by the entrances and it lingers, so I put on my mask (which is tan) so that I could walk with him. When we got inside he asked me why I didn't run ahead and get out of the smoke as fast as possible. I told him that I bought a mask so that I wouldn't have to run and so that we could walk together. He told me that was stupid and I should just run ahead to get out of the smoke or past the perfume stores. I asked if he was embarrassed to be seen with me when I'm wearing the mask. The answer was yes, he is very embarrassed to be seen with someone wearing a mask. So now I'm sad.
Chemical sensitivity: 1
Me: 0

Jun 14, 2016 1:06 AM

Oh no. You may have chemical sensitivity, but he has insensitivity, at least in that moment. Perhaps he can understand and support you more in the future. It's a terrible feeling! 😥

Jun 14, 2016 5:44 AM

Blokes can be very insensitive and clumsy with things like this. It's all about him and how insecure he feels. He's got one thing going for him and that's honesty. You can work with that. If he was more confident he wouldn't give a toss if you walked down the street in your PJs! I'll give him a virtual slap up the side of his head 😉

Jun 14, 2016 7:44 AM

I don't wear a mask, but I do have to use a wheel chair some of the time. My loved ones have had to become accustomed to the stares. It took time. Perhaps that's all your boyfriend needs. A little more time.

Jun 14, 2016 7:36 PM

I'm heart broken for you. I know that had to break your heart to hear. I'm in agreement with dipbop. I'd give one point for. It holding that in. With the things we deal with and how we love our lives we have to a healthy support system and we have to understand that sometimes we need to consider how our loved ones feel. Now does this excuse him ,..HECk nah... I mean he loves or is supposed to so he should accept you as u are. And I think he is in his way to being fully supportive. Perhaps a conversation at home is in order. Maybe he need a moment to get somethings off his chest s d u two can come to a agreement.

Jun 15, 2016 11:48 AM

I'm so sad for you Gotobef. I think a discussion is a good idea. Any change is hard, but with time gets easier. Ask him if you suddenly had an attack & has to be rushed to the ER would he be less embarrassed. I wear my mask when needed, and it took time for people not to stare, as my family got use to it. People stared when I first had to use a cane, or walker, or electric cart too. Now it's like second nature to everyone. Let your boyfriend know his embarrassment hurt, but it hurts you more that you even need to use one. Hugs & prayers he will become less insensitive and more supportive! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Jun 15, 2016 11:55 AM

I'm sorry. That would make me feel the same way also. I hope he will realize that his words hurt your feelings.

Jun 15, 2016 5:30 PM

We talked. He said embarrassed probably isn't the right word. Weirded out is closer. He'll get over it eventually. He was more upset that I wasn't running out of the area with smokers and their lingering smoke. He said that even if I'm wearing the mask I shouldn't linger in areas that make me sick. So of course I brought up his chain smoking dad and visiting them and when they come over (hasnt happened since I got poisoned where im trapped in a house with him since its been nice out but im worried about Christmas and winter birthdays and the fight that is going to happen when i refuse them entry into our house because of the third hand smoke). His response was that in situations I can control (like entries to malls and smelly stores) i should run past and protect myself best i can.
His dads smoking and my illness is going to be our ultimate test i think. It'll either make or break us.

Jun 15, 2016 6:25 PM

I'm going to guesses, by his response when you talked, that it will make you! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Jun 15, 2016 8:08 PM

Gotobef,

I am sorry that you went through this.

I am proud of you for taking care of yourself and being proactive with your health. Cheers to you.

Also talking about it later was a good idea, to help process and problem solve for next time.

Beets

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