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Sadness

Feb 18, 2016 11:42 PM

Hey guys,we have only been talking and complaining about pain let's post some happy stuff.i know pain controls most of our lives but that is because we focus or worry about it.

Feb 19, 2016 12:15 AM

Well let me start. Today wasn't too bad pain wise. I got my appointment with the neurologist finally. The.y tell me before I walk out the door I will have a diagnosis. Two hour appointment... I am impressed already and I haven't gone yet. Got to work and my boss parked my SUV because although my pain wasn't too bad today I still couldn't make it from the parking lot which is two blocks away to the building. A coworker and her young daughter were in a car accident in front of the work building both cars were totaled and undriveable but neither my coworker, her daughter, nor the couple in the other car were hurt or needed medical treatment. Some months back I fell and broke my laptop screen and today I watched a YouTube video on how to fix it... So I am excited about ordering another screen and repairing it myself for two times less the price the computer stores quoted me! Forgot my lunch and a coworker brought me lunch from home. A friend texted and asked if I would join her and have dinner at my favorite restaurant... Red Lobster. So I am feeling like I have had a blessed day. Thanks snuggled... NEXT!

Feb 19, 2016 12:17 AM

Oh...my friend is paying for Red Lobster with a gift card she received as a gift! Free Meal!!

Feb 19, 2016 1:04 PM

It's a beautiful sunny day today. I'm just having a slow easy relaxing day. I'm planning to spend time outside with my dog, just a slow walk in the yard with him chasing balls. 🙂💕🙏🌼

Feb 20, 2016 9:45 AM

Today is going to be a warm day outside so I think I will go walking.

Feb 20, 2016 11:30 AM

I am sitting here in my recliner catching up on Vampire Diaries and fixin to chow down on some roast I put in the crock pot last night. Lol Sounds like a good day to me!

Feb 21, 2016 11:08 AM

I got a text today from a young man at my church that I have not legally adopted as my son but he calls me dad and I love him as a son. He said that he hasn't spent time with me for a while and he wants to come visit me. He said that he want to come and draw with me and hang out and talk. My own son doesn't do anything like that with me. Not to be negative about it but I wish he would because I love him so much. But this other young man that I view as a son. HIs name is Collin makes sure I am invited to all family events. I got seated with the family at his wedding. It is nice to have a son like him. He said one of the reasons he loved me as a dad was because when he started coming to church, I was the only person who would just sit down and just listen to him and then give him advice. He liked that I allowed him to speak and get his feelings out. So him coming to spend time with me because I don't get out makes me feel special and needed. I think I will have him teach me to draw something. He is an awesome artist. This is a good post. Thank you for it.

Feb 21, 2016 11:28 AM

Hey Profiler!!! You enjoy every moment of your visit with Collin.. It's a good thing. I can see how he would feel comfortable with you as you and Flappsy and Moparmom and Weezie were the first ones to welcome me here to this wonderful community!!! (Also Eddieray, rest his soul). You have always been a source of comfort, you're a thinking and compassionate man and never judge anyone. You're not afraid to show your feelings and in this day and age, to find a man willing to open up emotionally is rare. You're really a wonderful friend and I am blessed to count you among the close friends that I have made here. It will be fun for you to learn how to draw something. I love to draw, it's very relaxing and takes focus so it's a distraction. So, have a great day with your Collin!! (By the way, if you want to spend more time with your son, tell him. Let him know that you need him and want his company. I have no doubt after what you've told us about your kids that he'd make time for his wonderful Dad!!) Enjoy! {{Hugs}} and prayers for a great day!💕🙏🏻🌻

Feb 21, 2016 1:22 PM

That's really great Profiler! Enjoy your visit with Collin. Sometimes it's those little bits that mean so much. I agreed with AlwayZ, about telling your son you'd like to just spend time together. What are hobbies he enjoys? Try and find something you both like, or even try something new. Maybe play a board game or cards or something; just go eat out together, if you can. Unfortunately we can't make it kids come around more often, but they can't read our minds either. I've had to tell mine, "If sure like it if you came by more often, or at least called.". It's made a difference. Hugs, love, & prayers for a wonderful visit with Colin! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Feb 21, 2016 5:46 PM

Flappys I've been avoiding your post for days. Not a personal thing of course.. It's because I really don't have much that makes me truly happy any more. I've had this question posed to me a few times and I kind of bkow it off. Don't want anyone to know how sad I am. Ha.. Plus the things that really make me happy I can't have right now. I'm the happiest when I'm with my boyfriend. I know it seems like I'm putting all my hopes and what not in a man. But it's not. I also love to cook but thsts always incompased in pain so it's not as fun as it use to be. But when I'm with Darius my heart is free and I'm able to relax. He would hate to hear this because he has such hig expectations on himself that it would stress him out knowing I love being with him that much. If I had a perfect world I would go back to being a chef and loving my boyfriend soon to be husband. Makes me.think where we would be if I had accepted his proposal years ago. But oh well...

Feb 21, 2016 6:26 PM

Well Gals, I beat you to your post. I was thinking about my son after my post and I saw him in the kitchen this morning and I told him that I missed spending time with him and that I would really like it if we spent some time doing something like a board game. He bought risk not to long ago. So I figured that we could do that. But I really got to thinking this morning, I thought about my son. He helps around the house. But besides that, he treats his bedroom like his apartment. He hardly ever comes out of it. When he gets dinner, he takes it upstairs and eats in his bedroom. I hardly ever see him. On top of that, he keeps his room real dark with dark curtains. You know curtains that keep all the light out. I just got to thinking and it sounds obvious that he could be really depressed. I try to get him out of the house with his friends. And when his friends do things, he will do things with them. HIs friends just don't do much. But now I am worried about him but I don't know what to do because he doesn't share with me. But I still am going to sit him down and hug him and tell him that I am worried about him. I didn't see it before but I am pretty intuitive. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. But once I let it enter my mind, I could see it. I could be wrong. In the past I have let him know of a couple character flaws that I told him he should constructively work on because it turns people off. I was thinking if he ever wanted to get married, it wouldn't be nice if he wasn't so very stubborn. Because when he gets mad, he will take over and do everything himself and not take help from anyone else. I just thought that would not be conducive to a marriage if he ever wanted to get married or with other relationships. But I forgot that my kids hate for me to be disappointed in them. I try to be careful. I should have made sure I followed up with how proud of him I am. I hate if I caused his sadness. Now I feel bad. I feel pretty confident he is sad. I don't know what about. But I know he is not happy. Thanks for letting me talk out loud.

Feb 21, 2016 6:26 PM

Well Gals, I beat you to your post. I was thinking about my son after my post and I saw him in the kitchen this morning and I told him that I missed spending time with him and that I would really like it if we spent some time doing something like a board game. He bought risk not to long ago. So I figured that we could do that. But I really got to thinking this morning, I thought about my son. He helps around the house. But besides that, he treats his bedroom like his apartment. He hardly ever comes out of it. When he gets dinner, he takes it upstairs and eats in his bedroom. I hardly ever see him. On top of that, he keeps his room real dark with dark curtains. You know curtains that keep all the light out. I just got to thinking and it sounds obvious that he could be really depressed. I try to get him out of the house with his friends. And when his friends do things, he will do things with them. HIs friends just don't do much. But now I am worried about him but I don't know what to do because he doesn't share with me. But I still am going to sit him down and hug him and tell him that I am worried about him. I didn't see it before but I am pretty intuitive. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. But once I let it enter my mind, I could see it. I could be wrong. In the past I have let him know of a couple character flaws that I told him he should constructively work on because it turns people off. I was thinking if he ever wanted to get married, it wouldn't be nice if he wasn't so very stubborn. Because when he gets mad, he will take over and do everything himself and not take help from anyone else. I just thought that would not be conducive to a marriage if he ever wanted to get married or with other relationships. But I forgot that my kids hate for me to be disappointed in them. I try to be careful. I should have made sure I followed up with how proud of him I am. I hate if I caused his sadness. Now I feel bad. I feel pretty confident he is sad. I don't know what about. But I know he is not happy. Thanks for letting me talk out loud.

Feb 21, 2016 6:33 PM

Hey Newfibrogirl, did you mean to post to the this posting, or was that suppose to go on "What gives you comfort?". Lol just wondering.

I understand the not finding joy in much. I saw my counselor recently and she stated she doesn't hear " desire, drive, or expectations to some goal " in anything I say. I told her my expectations would be to finish undone things in my house. She said, "No!. What are you looking forward to? What is something you want to do to make you happy? ". I just stared, dumbfounded because I couldn't answer. Then I got home and I've been in a depressed, 'unsuccessful at achieving anything', funk ever since. 😔

Feb 21, 2016 6:44 PM

Profiler, that's good that you and your son played a game. And you may be on to something about him being depressed. But it could also just be that he's going through a phase, trying to find himself. There are many things I wish I could reverse and reapproach with my girls while they lived at home. We are much closer and they open up more to me now they are on their own. I had to back off and just let them know I'm here if ever they want to talk. And even now I have to bite my tongue, from wanting to tell them what to do to handle such & such! Lol I have to remind myself they are adults and if they want my thoughts I needed to respect their abilities as adults. And then there are those times I can laugh and say, "remember all the times if tell you I hoped you had 10 just like yourself? Well now you understand why I said it.". Lol my oldest daughter actually asked me recently to take that statement back, because with 4+1 hubby child it was really too much! ROFL!
But yes, definitely speak with your son and let him know he can talk to you, or if he doesn't feel comfortable with that and he is depressed, suggest he speak with someone; not to hold it in. And let him know you love him and his much he does, both little & big, and how proud you are. Then pray & trust God to guide your son. Hugs, love, & prayers for calming trust and living guidance! I know you fight depression yourself, but please don't blame yourself. Please! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Feb 21, 2016 7:33 PM

I am sorry, I left out that he didn't want to play the game. Maybe next week he said.

Feb 21, 2016 7:36 PM

Yes..I just noticed that. I tried to multi task which I've been unable to do in a long time..I.don't know how I got the two lost mixed up.
Horsesnugfler sorry for hijacking your post. Blame it on the fog.

Feb 24, 2016 5:54 PM

Good job guys those r good starts
😀😀😀

Feb 25, 2016 2:43 PM

Hey profiler, how old is your son? I ask because this sounds very much like my son, who is 16. I know that you are a very intuitive man, so would never doubt your instincts on this, but could this be a 'phase' he is going through? My son does the exact same things. I do know that he is stressed about his upcoming exams and he doesn't spend a great lot of time downstairs with us but I know that with my son, he is just going through that time when he wants to be an independent young man. He said it's not cool to hang out with us! 😂 (we are actually very cool). Don't beat yourself up about it. Just keep doing what you are doing by letting him know that you are there for him if he needs you.

Feb 25, 2016 5:43 PM

Today was such a gorgeous day with temp. In the 70's, I decided to go into the sunshine and pull weeds. I have a small rolling cart I use to roll through the garden & flower beds. I have decided to stop putting any new plants or shrubs in & to begin digging up& giving away stuff. Used to be a big time gardener, I worked as a floral designer before my pain level soared & had to stop. My man will help with the digging & carrying. Anyway, pulled weeds until that sweet man came out & said you know that is enough , you need to come in now or you know you'll pay a high price. I felt the love!!!
I came in, took my meds, am sitting with the heat pad, used essential oil rub & may go lay down . It was such pleasure to just be outside for a while that I hope you all will have the same. Thanks Horsesnuggler.

Feb 26, 2016 12:30 PM

Silvrry, your day sounds perfect (apart from the pain of course). Your man is a diamond! How lovely that he supports you and looks out for you. It's easy to push yourself so for him to recognise when it's time rest is just lovely. X

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