Hi . 😊 my 13 years old daughter was caught several times on unsafe sites . And we talked about what's safe and what is not safe .
Does anyone know of or has ideas on a safe site she can chat with her friends on . That I can easily monater and where she can't delete any messages . I know I can't watch over her shoulder 24 /7. But I want to know she is safe .
As of this moment she has lost all of her electrons .
We always kept the computer in the man livingroom. No computers or tablets in bedrooms. Also you can purchase your own router not the junk one that your Internet provider gives you. By purchasing one it can be programmed to block sites which helps your overall security of the router I would suggest (Sonic Wall). However for every step we take kids will take 3 more and they just try proxies to get around whatever we install. The best advice is just be honest and try to keep dialog open. Explain how your family computer is vital to stay protected from viruses, safe because this is how you pay bills and what if someone were to obtain your personal banking information that would be devastated to your family. I would also suggest purchasing a key logger that will show you screen grabs every keystroke entered. This is critical to be hidden or your child will feel very betrayed if they find it. There are ways to place it in an obscure way that they will never look there for anything. Personall I would suggest a continuing education program at your local college just to keep your skills up. Continuing education programs are very inexpensive, nothing like a class for credits. I would go that route. You should all have a separate password to use the computer that has age restrictions as part of it. Do not share passwords! Good luck in the ever changing world of technology.
Oh my goodness guys. As a teenager don't watch her keystrokes!!! That's a huge invasion of privacy. Teach her the difference between sites that can cause viruses and ones that are safe. All websites are in some ways unsafe cause stranger danger and all that blah blah blah. But the internet has become sort of like a diary that speaks back with words of support for many teenagers. If that's how she talks to her friends and maybe vents about hard things in her life don't take that away! When my parents took away my electronics and stalked my social media it was the most harmful thing they ever did to my social life and mental health. Please sit down and talk with your kid about our worries but do not invade their privacy!!!! It's soooo important that they have their own space especially at this age
The problem can be that it is the others that may seek your child out. It happened to both my kids. If she want a fb page start with a family one. My nieces and nephews do that for their kids to share on. But always =xplain the dangers to those kids and make it about you being afraid of the unknowns.on those family pages their kids love to post stuff about how weird their parents are, and their friends seem to think it is the coolest thing that they will catch pic of mom and dad being uncool. A quote from one of the great nieces.
Westrengirl send me a message if you're still in need of help. I can talk to you about chatting to your daughter from my own experience and I can also tell you how to block some really bad sites if you absolutely need to. I'll talk to you about my own experiences first to show you the value of the Internet including the less safe sites first though
When my husband gets home I'll ask him what we have in our computers. It blocks all "unsafe" websites and if you feel the site is safe you can unblock that piticular one. It also block 2nd or more addons if that makes sense. You have to approve things with your private password. At first it was a pain but now the kids can browse safely. You can also have each kids own log in so you can see what their doing also if like in my case my 17 yo can see stuff appropriate for her cause my 10 yo. Does that make sense? Anyway I'll let you know by tonight or tomorrow. I hope this helps.
I have to agree with some of the others that this is probably not the best way to approach it. I am in my early 20s. My mom never blocked anything and never checked over my browsing history or anything like that. That is a huge invasion of privacy and she respected my privacy. I would give her a talking to about the risks of some of the sites and dangers but the no electronics is very extreme. The more you take it away, the more they will want to know about it and view it and are curious. She is likely just curious as most teens are around that age and are well into high school. The checking of browser history is also very extreme. That is like invading inner thoughts to many. The actions that you take now can have a detrimental effect on her and I saw it thru high school. The more parents pushed and restricted especially at young ages when curiousity is normal, the more likely they are to try to act out and not listen intentionally. I only watched that happen. My parents pretty much gave my freedom and I graduated with a 4.0 gpa and with honors. Be careful how you handle this. I mean this with the kindest intentions and meaning behind my words.
You have to understand that electronics, social media, and all kinds of websites are vital to some teens. It gives them a chance to talk to others about their personal lives and thoughts, as well as for casual small talk and conversation. I'm 21 and my parents never blocked anything. When I was 13 I was smart enough to not get into unsafe situations. Is she buying drugs off the dark web? Is she hooking up with random dudes? No? Then let her be. If you deny her access to certain things in this time in her life, you will lose her trust.
Thank you everyone so much for your inputs, I appreciate everything . . Since all this. Her behavior has got better and we talked deep about safty. My biggest problem was she was being a bully and also going on porn sites . But otherwise she was fine . She has gotten some things back. And I understand the whole needing to talk to friends .