Hi all. I took a much needed 2 week vacation from work. The first week I worked on the front flowerbed and got the brick boarder down. The second week we went camping and went on a couple hikes. The first hike we spent just over 4 hours in the woods, and i think it rained for 3.5 hours of that hike. The second one was a way shorter walk but i think we hung out by the mountain lake for several hours. Got scared by a bear coming up behind us to get a drink from the lake while we were having lunch. It was fun. Totally overdid it and am paying for it but it was fun.
But now i have to go back to work and I'm terrified to go. My shift starts at 3pm and its 9:30am and I'm so nervous about going back that I want to cry and can't eat. And it's not even fear that the airport will poison me this time, it's fear of my coworkers poisoning me for fun and wondering what they have done to my workspace while I'm away. About a week before I went on vacation I asked my coworkers for help with my health and asked them to not wear scented stuff and asked them to tell me if they weren't going to switch so that i could try to protect myself. No one said anything to me about not being willing to wear unscented, the ones that wear scented regularly just wore more and the ones that are usually unscented were wearing scents. And i work with a group of men, i would expect that behavior from certain women but not from a group of guys. Anyways. I'm afraid to go back. I don't want to be in that environment but i need the money so i can't quit. I wonder what i have done to be so hated. Ive never been liked in any group setting like school or any of my jobs. I dont think it's anything I've done but it must be something about me that just makes people angry or hateful. I dunno. And im rambling again. Sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Hugs and hope you have a good day