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Scared to go to work

Jul 18, 2016 10:47 AM

Hi all. I took a much needed 2 week vacation from work. The first week I worked on the front flowerbed and got the brick boarder down. The second week we went camping and went on a couple hikes. The first hike we spent just over 4 hours in the woods, and i think it rained for 3.5 hours of that hike. The second one was a way shorter walk but i think we hung out by the mountain lake for several hours. Got scared by a bear coming up behind us to get a drink from the lake while we were having lunch. It was fun. Totally overdid it and am paying for it but it was fun.
But now i have to go back to work and I'm terrified to go. My shift starts at 3pm and its 9:30am and I'm so nervous about going back that I want to cry and can't eat. And it's not even fear that the airport will poison me this time, it's fear of my coworkers poisoning me for fun and wondering what they have done to my workspace while I'm away. About a week before I went on vacation I asked my coworkers for help with my health and asked them to not wear scented stuff and asked them to tell me if they weren't going to switch so that i could try to protect myself. No one said anything to me about not being willing to wear unscented, the ones that wear scented regularly just wore more and the ones that are usually unscented were wearing scents. And i work with a group of men, i would expect that behavior from certain women but not from a group of guys. Anyways. I'm afraid to go back. I don't want to be in that environment but i need the money so i can't quit. I wonder what i have done to be so hated. Ive never been liked in any group setting like school or any of my jobs. I dont think it's anything I've done but it must be something about me that just makes people angry or hateful. I dunno. And im rambling again. Sorry. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Hugs and hope you have a good day

Jul 19, 2016 3:10 PM

Gotobef, I'm so glad you enjoyed your vacation. I wish I could have seen y'all when the bear came up! I'd have needed a change of clothes for sure! Lol

I truly hope your effort of going back to work is for nothing. I hope your co-workers haven't done anything to retaliate. As for others not liking you... I do! Seriously I know what's it's like not having a lot of friends. I was always too shy so my circle of friends was small. I think they're just threatened by your illnesses. Hugs love & prayers you have a good & uneventful return to work! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Jul 19, 2016 5:25 PM

I went back on evening shift so there weren't many people there so that was good. No one sabatoged my work space so yay! And the bosses personal air purifier was still there by my desk, double yay!
Except maybe half an hour after I got there the boss told me to come in 2 hours early for a meeting with labour relations and management and the union. So that stressed me out totally for my entire shift and all night.
Between my boyfriends sleepwalking, which only happens when he is super over tired and could have been ignored except he kept waking me up asking me to get things I had no idea what they were, and my stress about the meeting i got maybe an hour of sleep.
Apparently I look like shit and have mastered the blank look because they sent me home after the meeting, which means they called someone in to cover my shift. Luckily the guy they called is nice and won't hate me for having to cover my shift

Jul 20, 2016 7:08 AM

Hopefully you can get more sleep before tonight's shift!

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