I don't know what to do anymore. I'm behind in all of my classes, I've already dropped one class, and I still have four essays due. One of those essays is over a week late and I haven't even started it yet. Every time I try to I'm either unable to hold a pen/type, my brain fog is terrible and I have no idea what I'm doing, I can't see because my vision is like an out of focus camera all the time, or when I can do it I freak out and over think the whole thing and get mad at myself for being a burden and annoying my professors with late work.
I haven't done homework for a good month or so. I just show up to class and then leave. At this point I just want to drop out all together. But I'm scared about what that will do to my financial aid and whether or not I will be able to go back to school or not.
I want to stay in school but at this point I have no idea what is causing my pain, I'm very depressed and I turn to watching tv shows and reading books to distract myself from school, pain, and my family who isn't as supportive as I'd like them to be. Mid terms are this week and I know two of my classes will show up as F's. I just want to give up, but when I think about dropping to focus on my health I feel guilty like I should be able to do this.
I can tell my mom is hinting that I should just drop out of school and do something else. But I don't want to go to a tech school and I wouldn't be able to hold a job at this point. I'm 18, I should be able to do these things without all this trouble. When I think of asking for help I feel like a burden or that I'm annoying people. I have no friends on campus, my one friend lives in another state and my family isn't very supportive. I feel really alone and lost. I just want to go to bed and sleep all day tomorrow instead of dragging myself out of bed to go to classes.