Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Sick of being judged

Aug 17, 2016 10:03 PM

As much as try to ignore it, im sick of being judged as an unemployed bum. Ive worked my whole life up until my back injury has forced me to stop. On my really good days when i can walk ok i often get the looks. But on my bad days when im struggling to walk i dont seem to get them.

Aug 17, 2016 11:35 PM

I used to get mad and tryed to explain how I felt but even if u were working you would be selling 40 he's a week for a wage. Others, (able people, ppl w chips on their shoulder, insecure, and bitter) will always be very critical but consider how critical they are towards themselves. We are not our jobs. We get our identity from who we tell ourselves we are. Try making a list of reasons you're a good person and tell them to yourself everyday. We are fighting our own battles and are already warriors so if someone says "so, what do you do for a living?" Tell them you are batteling a chronic illness and if they want to trade lives (Cuz you know if we wer to suddently heal, we'd be running circles around muhhfukas) have courage and be kind when others are acting one dimentional

Aug 18, 2016 1:34 AM

Hi Mark... 🤗 dont worry... we know ur not a bum! 😉I had to stop work 14yrs ago... and i still get judged! 🐴 its taken a long time... 🐪 but i even get judged in my wheelchair... just because i wear pretty shoes! 👠look at these bad boys ⤴

ok i cant stand up 👡in them... but because i have them👢 on my feet... people make the 🐫assumption i can walk🐪 perfectly well! 🐴Jokers! Lmao!

Aug 18, 2016 4:22 AM

Hi Mark,
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have always received thise looks long before my back problems. I am self employed and I have been fortunate enough to work when I want and people has always looked at me when I go out in the middle of the day like i was a bum. I have even gotten the question a few times, "oh, you dont have work today?" I would simply smile and say "Oh, you DO have work today? I feel sorry for you!"

It is really stupid, especially in today's world. May people work from home, own their own business, work night shifts etc. No one knows your situation but you. As long as the people who love you understand forget about the rest of them. No one else puts food on your table or a roof over your head so their opinions dont amount to a hill of beans. Let them be judgmental you just keep a smile on your face and keep your head up!!!

Aug 18, 2016 5:54 AM

I hear you. Finger pointing morons have three pointing back at themselves.

Reminds me of when someone goes crazy on you with road rage. You gotta laugh (they hate That). But 99% of them just drive on. The two who followed me (in 40 yrs), I led on a merry chase until they gave up. Okay, once I pulled into a PD, lol.

I figure those judgmental creeps can go have their heart attack alone. I'm damn sure not going to have one with 'em.

Hold your head and your standards high. Those people are not worthy of your time or attention.

Aug 18, 2016 6:56 AM

Hi Mark,
I have really struggled with people's perception of me. I have also been very hard on myself and at times doubted myself.
At some point I've just fed up and decided to hold my head high and change the way I react to my situation.
Because I'm am kinder to myself and know I'm getting each day 100% then that's enough.
It's weird but because I'm more self assured people are treating me with more respect. For a few people I have had to take the time to talk through my situation and now they "get where I'm at"... And have become a huge support.
You are coming to terms with "a new normal"... Try not to worry about others. Hold your head high!
Best wishes

Aug 18, 2016 5:59 PM

Even as a child in school I was never one to follow the crowd, so I didn't care if I was different. I was also more compassionate to those who were different and got teased or bullied. Other people don't live in my body so their judgement does not matter. I do the best I can with whatever energy I have for each given day. People in our neighborhood have gotten use to seeing me on a cane, walker, or motorized cart. But for those few who do give looks or questions, I sincerely hope they never have to find out what it's like. 🙂💕🙏🌸

Aug 19, 2016 5:26 PM

people will always judge on appearances rather than the reaility. That s why we have so much ignorance and prejudice. all we can do is to not let it get to us.. as it s about their ignorance rather than us or our real situation. we wont judge you here because we share chronic pain. keep your heart warm and maybe not judge those who judge? Life has a way of creating consequences of thoughts cand actions. I believe that people who judge suffer in one way or another. big hugs

Aug 19, 2016 5:42 PM

I am the mother of four. Three adopted. Two with significant behavior issues - in public - We are loud and multiracial and I'm sometimes in a wheelchair sometimes walking fine. Here's what I've learned:

Yes, haters are gonna hate. But most people stare because they're curious and think asking would be rude, but somehow miss the part where staring is rude. Once my son noticed lots of staring at a hotel we were staying at in the Deep South in the states. He asked why everyone was watching us. I said, quite loudly, "They've probably never seen a family as fabulous as ours." It broke the ice and we had some fantastic conversations with some very kind strangers.

We've also met racists, bigots, haters and jerks. Of course we have - we do leave the house, after all. But why would I care what someone like that thinks of me, my life, my health, or my family. They can go an be miserable alone!

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community