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Significant others

Sep 14, 2015 10:46 AM

I'm 24 and in a relatively new and extremely serious relationship. My boyfriend of 9.5 months has moved in with me and is now around almost 24 hrs so we can support one another.

I've had a hard time accepting that things arnt how they are "supposed to be". But yesterday that changed a little.

My generation is the one that is challenging this stigma. I mean not that I want to be in chronic pain or have my body attacking itself, but who decides what is normal and abnormal. I guess really ony I can. Social media makes it tough. And yes I've wanted to travel the world an run a marathon and do this and that YET I cant even walk half a mile.

I feel guilty for my man at times. He's a backpacker with a ton of ambition and he loves me. He wouldn't be here still if he didn't. This is a lot for me and that's why I know it's a lot for him but he's proven himself time and time again that these are things out of my control and so he can't be upset with them. Of course we get frustrated with limited activities but we compromise. I'm so lucky in this regard and I hope ou all have at least one person out there who makes your days a little easier. Even if you feel like you're dying, that one person who doesn't have to say anything is supporting you. I'm lucky that I have a est friend too who has stuck through a lot with me. Plus parents who are beyond concerned. We don't know what is going on but we arnt giving up. Today I'm feeling good about my relationships even though there are only a few who have stuck through such hard times for someone "so young". I just have to make the best of where I am. I don't feel well enough to go out. Well thanks professor for having recorded lectures. I'll lay in bed and listen!

Sep 15, 2015 9:42 AM

MyDogMMPain, you are blessed! I've had many health issues since 1986. But the (what I call) "runaway health train" that started in 2008 has been so overwhelming for me. I've always bounced back before, but not this time. Yet my husband is still standing my my side without complaint. It's actually funny because we are total opposites, but our like behavior is on all the major points (beliefs, raising children, commitment, etc). We even joke about being total opposites, and how opposites attract. I consider myself blessed too. Hope you have a good day! 🙏🌼

Sep 15, 2015 12:30 PM

MyDigMasksMyPain, I know what you mean. I am so happy that your boyfriend is so wonderful!! Sounds like you really love one another and that he is really very understanding of your position. I'm also happy that you have supportive parents and a best friend that you can count On. It's not how many. I would rather have ONE true and faithful friend (which I do) than to have a bunch of acquaintances. I'm glad that you are satisfied with your relationships and support system. It's really important to have that when you're in the situation we are in every day. Sending positive vibes your way and prayers to keep you feeling well and being surrounded m by people who love you. 🙏🏻🌻

Sep 16, 2015 1:09 PM

Mt wife and I both struggle with constant pain issues. She has fibro and I have a few different pain issues. It is so hard somedays for us as we are raising three energy filled boys one with behavior issues. Somedays neither of us has what it takes and one of us gives in and deals. Or the kids make their dinner. I don't feel it's fair to them but I am doing everything I can between work and home.. I take energy and pain pills and vitamins while keeping a tight reign on diet but feels like I'm in a downward spiral. Something has to give sometime soon but I love everything/everyone in my life. I struggle hardcore daily and hate how hard everything is. I feel like 150% spread out is still not enough for all the demands and expectations of others and myself. I have never loved my life but still fighting for a better way.

Sep 16, 2015 2:35 PM

I do agree with you, I got out of a bad marriage and met my best friend and lol at the time my body was discovering the wonders of fibro. When I finally found out about fibro I told him, now he's my husband, to leave or I would he refused. He has done things I wish he never had to for 20 years now and land continues to everyday. Everyone who has someone like him in your lives is extremely lucky. I'm amazed by his strength most days!

Sep 16, 2015 2:54 PM

Please excuse the auto correct it inserted lol and land. Sorry

It also sent before I said, He is my hero.

Sep 16, 2015 3:35 PM

I have never loved my life * more*

Sep 16, 2015 11:06 PM

Even when I can tell that my support system is out stretched we work it out. Ct chest scan with constancy results tomorrow.

Sep 17, 2015 1:36 AM

Hey I'm the same age as you and in exactly the same position. Before I had this we wanted to travel the world, now I can't walk far at all. Just walking normally causes me pain. I feel awful for him as I miss how we used to be, how I used to be. He finds it hard understanding this illness and how it effects me like a lot of sleeping and stuff and this frustrates him and makes us argue. But he's always stayed by my side and never gone away. He's my best friend. I hate the stigma of fibromyalgia, and having it puts people off wanting to be your friend, I have none at all apart from 2 in America who also have this disease (I'm in The UK). I have noticed how fake people are, people who tell you they're your friends. For example only texting you once every month or 2 months saying the same thing every time like oh we should meet up soon and then asking how I am and I tell them and then when I try and talk about something else they don't answer and that's the conversation over. Then they don't even ask to make any plans after they've told me they want to meet. It's like they're trying to make themselves feel less guilty because they know they have no intention of actually meeting up. This frustrates me because it's so fake and if they don't want to be my friend they need to stop pretending and stop messaging me if they are never going to meet me. They must think I'm really thick that this has been going on for a whole year and they've never met up with me once. Next time I get a message I'm just going to ignore it because it seriously humiliating and just embarrassing.

Lots of Love, Becky 💋

Sep 17, 2015 7:54 AM

I've been dealing with this for 4 yrs now and have cut out a bunch of people. My boyfriend actually came into the picture during a pretty rough time in terms of defining what is or isn going on. I hate that he doesn't know who I was before to understand my struggles, but it helps too because he knows this me. Not that I'm entirely different but I am somewhat.

Friends at our age in this generation seem to just drop off even if there isn't a problem in someone's life. Just know that this transition age has people trying learn to define themselves better and learnto hase their own dreams. I've been selfish lately and when I have time to see friends i inevitabley am I'll or exhausted or in pain. I still try but I do have To cancel. Good friends will understand. They will get frustrated and so will you but you work through it.

Sep 17, 2015 9:31 AM

Becky & MyDogMMPain, It's not just your age that friends fall away. I think it begins after high school, and as friends move away or may and start families of their own, it's just part of life. People meet new friends as they go through pregnancy, or start new jobs, or move to new neighborhoods. I think we all are at a great disadvantage because we can't get out to meet others and make new friends. But you do learn who your true friends are. If you have 1 or 2 true friends by the time you reach your 50's, feel blessed. I consider many here as friends because we all understand each other. 🙏🌼

Sep 17, 2015 10:07 AM

👯👭👬👫👬👭👫👬👭👫👬🙆👬👫👭👫 friendssss haha

Sep 17, 2015 11:59 AM

I started a Red Hat Chapter for women in pain but still want to have fun. In just a few months I've made two new great friends.
Before I had friends and after I lost all but 1, even family moved away from me. But it's ok at least I know who is my real friend and who likes me for me not just my driving. LOL

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