I am up too an it is not by choice. Hurt too bad to even get to sleep. Sick of people asking if i feel better today like it is just going to go away. People that do not have chronic pain just have no idea of the frustration that we deal with. I have talked until i just cannot talk anymore. I consider a good day anything under a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale. Most people just do not understand the concept of Chronic pain versus Acute pain sadly even in the medical world. Not that I want friends or family to live like I do but sometimes i just wish they could live a day in my life or maybe a week to get the true feeling. It is just truly a mind fu-k to know this is just how it is. I have been dealing with this since I was just 15 (first major back surgery- scoliosis) and now I am 49 and I feel 90. i think the biggest issue is that "I don't look sick" people just think oh she cannot really feel that bad. Most people think I am in my mid thirties. She must be lazy when I confide in someone and tell them that it was a bad week and I spent 4 days in bed curled in a ball crying and just wishing I was dead because then i would not hut so bad. just venting that is not an option I have a beautiful adult child that i know that would destroy. I can relate to the post about being cut down in the prime of my life. I worked a very high stress job (cardiac code surgical team) that I absolutely loved until I just could not get out of bed more days than I could. It is very sad that was truly my passion. I am thankful for all of you dealing with everything and feeling like we are all part of our own little family. Hang in there we are all in this together and here to support each other as best as we can. Even if it is just venting to another person that truly can understand.
Most but not all nights I fall asleep fairly easy, but either wake up multiple times to readjust my body and switch out the pillows, or I wake up in pain and can't go back to sleep. Last night was the toss & turn pain night. I don't feel as tired as I feel there's too much pain for this time of day, because that means its only going to get worse.
I toss n turn trying to get comfort! Move pillows to every position possible then I do fall asleep only to be woken in pain as I've slept to long on one side!! Then the pain kicks in more tablets more moving about n then repeat!!!! Am so tired hope I sleep tonight!! Keep strong surly things can get better x
Wow. Everything said I can relate. The pain at night is the worst...excruciating pain and knowing that I have to get up shortly to start my day sends me into anxiety.No fun. I keep thinking.... Maybe tonight is the night that I will actually sleep...well maybe it is for all of us!! I am hoping if not for me, it will happen for one of you.
Awoke at12:00 to adjust pillows & position, at 2:10 am with calf cramps, then at 4:30 with another headache, & more calf cramps at 6:45. Minus the headache (until the last year) that's my typical night.