Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

so done.. i dont wanna swim no more..

Jun 05, 2017 4:22 PM

Ok so just got home FROM dentist same place pulled my tooth two weeks ago.. But diff doc. They basically took films to access what damage is there... I expected it to be bad i have cavitys that need attention there bad im sure few needing to be filled!! ANOTHER NIGHTMARE COMING TRUE IT STARTED AT STARTING LINE OF SEPT ALL MY DIAGNOSIS IT SEEMS GET WORSE THINGS PIGGY BACKING ON THINGS IT JUST WONT STOP... I AM TRULY NOT A VAIN PERSON, HOWEVER going thru life over weight n picked on ur whole life; when u get older u realize high school all those ass holes didnt truly matter.... But i also tried real hard to make myself whom i felt i was and wanted to be... Took 11 years to feel like i was me u cant hurt me any more and everything wiped out within a blink eye... I can no linger do hair that was my passion took years to figure out what i belonged doing it just washed out from under me no choice... When i got sick little by little i started loosing my appearance me what makes me me to myself!!! I lost my gages but i finally got those back to where we were i fight hard to keep them tho ... I lost my FAVVVVVE PIERCING MY CHEEKS!!! I LOST BOTH TONGUE RINGS... And my hair its soooo hard for me to color my hair takes entire day just to bleach it let alone adding the color to it !!! Well fml as i bawl in my car after doc said YOU BASICALLY NEED DENTURES!! 😖😖😥 so basically every tooth has a cavity to some degree, he said he will start to do a couple at a time and save as many as he possibly can, but rest have to be pulled... 😖😥😥 i lost my identity already feel ugly ... Let alone take my smile away fml... I just wanna curl up n die.... It seems it just wont stop ... Soon as i start think things be ok we will get there just keep swimming but i dont wanna swim any more 😥😥... Im sad very depressed this just made everything worse ... WELL SHOULD HAVE SOME WINE IM DRINKING HERBAL TEA INSTEAD LOL.. GOOD JOB CJ 😖😖😖

Jun 05, 2017 10:11 PM

Hey sweety.... Bare with me a bit... I'm not trying to make this about me. I want to explain some things if I can. Do bare with me.

Before my horific car wreck. Before marriage. Before my fibro got really bad. I used to SCUBA dive. I lived down in Palm Beach at the time. Me and a bunch of friends would charter a boat out of the lower Keys and go down to the Dry Tortugas to do a spearfishing trip. I'm talking some serious spearfishing. We would be selective in what we shot and come home with 70-80 pounds of just fillets!!

Anyways my one buddy and I were the last 2 dropped on a "rock" with the others. (it was a outcrop of rocks the size of a average 2 story house with sand all around it) anywAys we looked at each other in the water and basicly thought the same thing. "For get this" so we took off down current with nothing but sand. We came upon another "rock" shot our fish we wanted. And looked at one another and took off into the sand with the current exploring for what else to find. We kept this up till air was low and just after an hours time. (which is about what we all agreed was to be our dive times unless we were on something great) When he and I surfaced. We had issues finding the boat. (we don't dive with dive flags down there... When we come up we have a dive flag folded and put it up on our spearguns for the boat to see us. )

So we're on the surface seas are just slow rollers about 3 footers. We Finially see the boat as a small vessel far away. We raised are flags, blew are whistles. We did everything. But are backs was to the sun. So there had to try and spot us as 2 small dots in the waves with the sun reflecting on the water. Well we stayed adrift for almost 3 hours till we were back onboard the boat. They had contacted the Coast Gaurd to be in stand by if not found in the next 30 min. We swam almost 3 miles underwater till we popped up. Why they stayed on the drop point we have no idea.

Anyways. I do know what it feels like to be adrift in the open sea(ocean) for a far amount of time.

After my wreck and all was falling apart with my body (and still is) I felt that way again. Like having a broken back adrift in the sea unable to do anything. At the mercy of the currents, weather, and sharks. You fight back the tears because it will only dehydrate you faster. Your in "survival" mode but all you can do in that mode with a broken back is don't cry.... And pray...

So I fully understand were your at... I get it... I have 'lived it' even (to an extent) I'm here if you need to talk Or vent or need some one to listen.

I'm sorry about all your teeth... I'm afraid to go to the dentist for the same reason. Its been over 7 years since I've been and I had 3 cavities that should have been felt with them. I don't have the money to do anything about them so why go is my reasoning.

I don't. Know if this is helping or not. I want to help and never hurt. If I do please forgive me if is not intentional. But you are unique to me... Here with all of us. I dont need to see you hair or piercings and gages. And if this was all love video feed. I see through all of that anyways and see you unique and beautiful.

But I also understand the need as well. So I'm glad you were able to get some of your piercings back and your gages. I hope maybe a friend maybe able to help with your hair one day... Make it a hair day with some homemade pizza in the oven or something fun like that while waiting on the hair.

Just take one day at a time... Wake up... Be thankful. I need to rest a lot. So 'naps' are what I need. So each time I wake up... In thankful. Tomarrow has its own problems. Lets just get through today. We can cross towmmarows bridges when we get there.

I pray you sleep well. Dream beutiful dreams. Have no pain through the night and low pains through the day always.

(((gentle hugs))) nite 🌙🌙🌙

Jun 06, 2017 12:36 AM

Thank you.. Actually it did help... Wow i always wanted dive i snorkle well use to i love it..shit i cant even walk on the beach sand literally bogs me dow that was my happy place to go... I have my art but some times when i get this way i dont like to do it i feel im putting negativiry into art thats not my intention.. My art is special.. I infuse it with energy as i paint... Thats what i have now instead doing hair i now do art.. I really am fairly certain my " crazy / mental stability meds " are. Not working how they use to i know my bodys changing shifting so im concerned if this meds stopped what else will. Im even more concerned he wont switch it or try anuthing ... So yea day by day some times hour by hour... Thank you what craxy fantastic story that must been quite scarry... Glad ur ok and thank u

Jun 06, 2017 1:18 AM

I can't dive any more with my medical conditions and meds. I miss it so much. The calm, quite and beauty of it all down there.

Things change... We just have to change with it. Before diving I rode motorcycles. The bouncing on my lower back got to be to much so I had to give it up. About 2 years later came SCUBA. But I missed drive the bike down A1A along the beach. Or taking off Saturday afternoon by myself and riding all the way down to Key West. Watch the sunset on Sunset Pier. Then grabbing a sloppy joe of course at Sloppy Joe's!!!! We're else!!😝😝😝

Then crusing back home in the dark seeing the diffrent Keys lights at night on the bridges.

So yea. I understand you switching to art. And also not to "infect" your art with the ugliness of our pain we endure.

Are meds may need changing as well with time. Stronger doses or diffrent ones all together. I pray the doctors help you with that process.

Bering out there floating at times got scarry. We could see the boat and knew everyone on board so we knew they would look for us. So all hope was not totally lost. But at times remembering we had a bunch of dead fish on us and sharks could come at any time because being in the water so long kept creeping into my mind.

Thank you for understanding what I was trying to say for you.

Your most welcome... Always.

Its about that time to go to bed and stare at the turning ceiling fan. See if I can watch one blade only spinning around. (am I the only one who tried to do that??😝) rest well. Nite nite.

Jun 06, 2017 9:15 AM

I'm sorry. My mom had the same progression with her teeth, and I fear the same is going to happen with me. I'm only 29 and I feel like I don't have a single tooth that doesn't have a filing. I brush my teeth twice a day, floss, etc, but it can't make up for my jaw clenching and crappy enamel. I'm just hoping I won't end up needing periodontal surgery like my mom. On top of that, I hate the color of my teeth and I'm so self conscious of them, but any attempt to use whitening products just makes my teeth more sensitive and painful.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone with this.

Jun 06, 2017 2:31 PM

@sakuraSky thanks very much hugz u..

Jun 06, 2017 2:31 PM

@overcomer u need write a book id read it i hang on every word very good teller 😬💙💋

Jun 06, 2017 3:25 PM

Oooh thank you. A lot of people say that. But what to write?

Jun 06, 2017 3:54 PM

You could write about your experiences which a lot of people can relate to!

Jun 06, 2017 4:43 PM

Awe Mizzmonroe. Hang in there sweetie . I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now . 😑 And I wish I could make everything better for you .
Lots of Preyers my friend and ((Gentle hugs))

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community