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So exhausted it's terrifying -Just venting and looking to commiserate

Apr 02, 2017 11:01 PM

I have been having some additional complications lately that I'm not sure what they are about. I have suspicions but if anyone has similar experiences or input please let me know!

I have a bunch of stuff going on... I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about a month and a half before I was in an accident (not my fault) where I got damage to my Achilles heel, and hit my head pretty damn hard. I bruised pretty much everything on the left side of my body. Then I was diagnosed with a (luckily) benign adanoma on my left adrenal gland and a "sizable" mass in my uterus.

I've been through PT and a year and a half of cognitive therapy, I'm doing PTSD therapy and I'm also working and going to school.

It's extremely hard having no energy and pain constantly. I've been stuck in the same intense fibromyalgia flare for over six months and it's near to maddening. The pain, the skin sensitivity, the exhaustion, the night time insomnia which leads to the inability to stay fully awake during the day... added to my mild traumatic brain injury, anxiety, Tourette's and severe depression... and then add working (supposed to be full time but I have yet to work a full week which terrifies me that I'll be fired)...and the self inflicted pressure to do well in school (it's my first time back in 21 years and I'm terrified I will fail).

I'm having a hard time de-stressing and meditation has become so hard I've given up. I can't seem to get my mind to quiet. There feels like I have 3 people inside of me now. The childhood me that I grew out of at 17 and took on my middle name, and then that middle name woman who I was for so long, and now there is this "new" person who is a mix of the two and trying to heal if that makes sense. Some days I feel like I'm going crazy!

Apr 02, 2017 11:23 PM

I know that it seems hopeless but what in fact has happened you need another person to help so your brain made one to help. You have been so stressed and in pain that you made this new character.
Let me say I applaud you! You keep going to get ahead and fulfill a dream. I will never get to at my state. That's amazing!
I know the fear of possibly losing your job. But please hang in there and do your best.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 yrs ago. And I'm raising my step child who also suffers from it as well as 4 ppl within. I also have a 26 yr old that went through a multiple mental diagnosis. I know what your going through, my step child just introduced me to his 4th.
Take each day minute by minute. Don't let it all get you overstressed. If you need to find another job than you do what you need. Starbucks hires part time and pays for your college.
Use sticky notes every where in your place with encouraging notes. Learn yoga breathing or learn yoga. It is one thing that has amazing results in your body and mind. Helping relaxation.
You are a wonderful person and do what's best for you. If you can change things around it will benefit you greatly.

Apr 02, 2017 11:28 PM

I wish I could do Starbucks! I could indulge once a day lol
Unfortunately I also have plantars fasciitis and I have tried retail since then but I can't stand for that long... its office work for me. If i could find legitimate work at home job that would be ideal but every one I find seems to be a scam. Le sigh.
And I thank you for your encouragement! I appreciate it more than you know.

Apr 03, 2017 12:04 AM

More than welcome. Sometimes it helps hearing from someone who knows what your going through. And encourage you to push through Everything..

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