I really didn't think that think that think things could get much worse then they were. This tapeworm problem has been hard to prove. When you go to doctors, they feel for one second and they don't even try to feel because they don't even think it is possible fot you to have one. But I have felt the body of the tapeworm. I have felt the tape. It is really long. I think I have had it for quite a while.
The pain use to be confined to my arms. They said that the cyst usually don't hurt much. I found them to hurt when they pop. They would burn for a little while. But the doctors don't believe me. But now I have the perfect place to show them. I have like 15 spots where the cyst have happened so many times that they have calcified. That is what they said would happen. All I know is that they are very hard when I feel them, not like the other ones. And they are more painful than the others.
I can handle that pain. It hurts a lot. When it happens. I would say it is about a 7 to an 8 on the pain scale. I was dealing with it. But I don't think I can deal with it anymore. The cyst with the intense pain have also gone to my legs. There is at least 8 or 9 of them. There are probably at least a 100 cyst on my legs my only that many hurt but it only takes me that many to limit my ability to walk. I now can only take baby steps or not walk at all. The only time I walk is to get my own food and use the bathroom. My wife tries to help me by getting me something to eat and my medicine but I won't tell her when I am hungry or due for medicine because I don't want my family to think I am lazy. My mother was very lazy. She pretended to have cancer so that I would take care of her and would wait on her hand and footand make and bring her food and drinks. She told me her feet hurt so bad so ofter that I would massage them and do reflexology on them for an hour on a regular basis. I forgave her for it before she died even though she blamed me for her actions. But I am so worried about being like that. So I refuse to let my kids and wife to do things like that for me until I absolutely need it. I know I am overreacting. But I am so worried about doing that to my family and them resenting me the way i did her.
So together with the arms and legs, my pain is fluxuates between an 8 and a 9. I never thought I would experience that level of pain in my lifetime on a regular basis.I don't think that I want to live like this. Don't worry, no immediate plans to do anything. But I cannot do this much longer. than a year. It is too much. They have to listen soon. i am going to make an appointment tommorow for John Hopkins. Something has to be done and very soon. Right now, the tapeworm is going very tight around my neck. I hope that it loosens up. It does that a lot. It terrifies me. It scares me that they are going to strangle me. It is all out of my control and i cannot get any help.