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So over the guilt trip

Oct 15, 2016 5:55 PM

I understand that having an illness is not a free Lisence to be a bitch or just plain mean . However I do feel that have aggressive adbomal tumors plus any tyoe of chronic pain issues should give u a little more room for error and understanding. I'm having the what seems like worst day ever. Body temp all irregular pain is off the charts. Dehydration is rampant dizzy headache chest pain. And I drag my body in the kitchen and mom starts bs-ing about not being appreciated. I look at her and ask where is my tiny violin or kazzo and walk out laughing. I'm like wth..I'm literally fighting for my life on a daily basis and she b-ing about appreciation.

Oct 15, 2016 6:07 PM

(((((( gentle hugs )))))) some people will never understand unless it's about them. Sad fact. I am.so sorry sweetie. Is it the abdominal tumors you are having to do chemo for? I had fibroid tumors many years ago. At the age of 29 they chose to to do a complete hysterectomy.

You remain in my thoughts hun. Its good that you were able to walk away. ((( gentle hugs )))

Oct 15, 2016 6:11 PM

Yes. I have fibroids too. The difference with mine is they went undiagnosed for over ten years and now I have estimated 15 to 20 Mellon sized tumors that have out grown the uterus and attached to the inner wall of my abdomen two main blood sources a d my bladder and spine. And I have a large family history of multiple types of cancer so they are attempting to be cautious and hopefully shrink them down some. At this point the plan now is a hysterectomy. I'm down for whatever they want as long as it means less pain.

Oct 15, 2016 6:15 PM

What I've learned over the years is that no one understands what your going through because typically you look fine on the outside and only you know how you feel on the inside.
People do not understand till they experience exactly what you are experiencing then how their outlook changes. Being in chronic pain daily takes a strong mental outlook. Sometimes your tested but you have to learn to control your mind as best you can. I've seen that by being positive and always talking about positive things helps.
Take a deep breath and smile. It helps.

Oct 15, 2016 7:05 PM

Oh no NewFibro am so sorry. I hope the treatments work so that you can see go on to the next phase. You amaze me with how you are holding up with all that you are dealing with. (((hugs)))

Oct 16, 2016 9:33 AM

I must admit that last few months positive thinking has not been the for front of my thoughts. With pain and constantly being beaten down by the so called loved ones. Live is very dark. And yes i find myself complaining a lot more. In the early days of illness i did well with positivity however it has had a direct impact on my declined condition now. I was so positive that I hid the real amount of pain I was in. I keep my hurts and thought to myself and did way more then I needed to. And now I'm a bitter ball of jaded emotions. Litterly all I think of is how to stop the pain all I want is for those in my physical space to actually care and understand. And less infer of that the more Jade's and angry I become so while I can appricate the idea of being positive that is fairytale waste of time when your reality is anything but positive.

Oct 16, 2016 10:08 AM

((Sending you many blessings))

Oct 16, 2016 5:17 PM

New, I know I have not been on much but know that I am still praying for you my friend. I think it's not right the way the way your family treat's you. Sending you supportive and loving hug's and Prayer's my friendπŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸŒΉ

Oct 16, 2016 9:32 PM

I thank you all for hols me up..this is. By far the hardest time of my life. Not only dealing with my self and truth but finding out so much about my own family. Distance really is a gift. I've never wanted to be so far away from a group of people in my life. And haveing to admit thst hurts so badly.

Oct 16, 2016 11:28 PM

((((( hugs ))))) thinking of you

Oct 17, 2016 12:10 PM

Newfibrogirl I know the nightmare you live and we have spoken about it in depth. Just know that being positive isn't a fairy tale. It's a choice we all have to make for ourselves whether we are going to let our pain and other people beat us down or are we going to find the gifts in each and every day and know that for every second you chat with someone and that someone makes you laugh, that's a moment in time that there is no misery. It takes time and there are days when you feel like you can't find the will to be positive but with help from your friends and fellow warriors, I know personally that you CAN do it. Hang in there Hon. Sending you positive vibes and good Karma. {{{Hugs}}}πŸ’•πŸ˜Š

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