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So stressed!!

Aug 18, 2016 11:02 AM

This is more work related than pain but the stress is causing me more pain!! There is a coworker who is just nasty to many people, and often to me. I've been in tears multiple times because of her! I'm a strong person! I'm the person who helps others fix problems. I am not a "victim". Yet, I am. I am struggling with using the word victim. I think because it's also attached to my pain issues. And because I'm often told I'm "overly" emotional because of my medical issues. I think I take less crap than I used to, not I'm overly emotional. I set firmer boundaries on what I will tolerate so I can make it through the day. And I won't tolerate being pushed to tears. I am trying to convince myself to initiate a formal complaint against this person. But to do so I have to identify as "the victim". That is so hard!! Why does standing up for myself make me a victim?? She yells, screams, slams things, is aggressive and intimidating. Not me. I just want to keep going to work as long as I can. I know I don't have many years left if my pain keeps up as it is. I just want to work and do my job. I don't want trouble. But this person attacks me. And it got worse after I was hurt. I've lost a lot of leave that I believe she doesn't file for correctly or push for it to be covered. I've let it go because I'm too tired to fight. But then my husband gets upset we lose the money (not at me but it still affects me). I already hurt so much today and filling out the complaint form is very stressful. Will I be ignored, again? Put down again. Have my medical issued blamed for my "emotional" response. I don't want to deal with this anymore! I am hoping if I push myself to formally complain, it might stop? But then again, bullies don't stop. They get sneakier...so will it help? Or hurt?

Aug 18, 2016 6:15 PM

I wish I could help you. Depending on the person it could get better or it could get worse.
Document everything. Their behavior will be against the code of conduct and if it continues or gets worse after you complain they could get fired. Try to record conversations and interactions if you can.
My problems are less with people than the building itself but I'm just being ignored. I hope they don't ignore you.
I was told to document everything and get witnesses for events who will confirm what i say happened. Also if this person is being a problem to many see if you can get them in on the complaint.
I've been fighting and fighting about the air quality for just over 2 years and being ignored, until I talked to someone in a different department with a little more power and several friends. It turns out that is not just me and it took me telling my story to this one woman who then took it to as many people as she could for people to start talking about it. Everyone was thinking it was just them and that the l they shouldn't say anything because it made them weak. Now I am the most severe case in the building but because others are saying something now they are going to do an air quality test, which is a very small step in the right direction but it's a step.

Aug 18, 2016 8:30 PM

I'm glad you got some results! I hope they are able to fix the air for you. We have a terrible mold problem but every time anyone comes in to check it they lie and say it is not bad or that it was in one teeny place which they "fixed". Soooo many of us are sick only at work. The only real solution would be to tear the building down which would never happen. Thank you for reminding me to document. I did document that some past issues- now can I find it?

Aug 18, 2016 10:30 PM

I don't expect any change in the air quality. But at least they are paying for a test to be done.
I hope things go well for you

Aug 19, 2016 2:04 PM

Gardener, I'm so sorry this is happening. If you don't file a complaint she will just keep doing it. If you file the complaint, then it goes in her file. Others may come forward too. Either way, shell get a reprimand, and if she retaliates do try and record it or have a witness. Then file another complaint. If she tried to get you alone, avoid it by walking of opening the door or calling someone. Eventually she will get hers. I worked in management, and when people aren't willing to complain the managers hands are tied. Most companies give a verbal warning followed by a written warning, and last step firing. If she is your manager, go to her boss or HR, but it's best to go through chain of command. You can do this! Hugs love & prayers for strength & courage to help yourself and co-workers! Screws prayers your co-workers will then come forward! 🙂💕🙏🌸

Aug 19, 2016 2:05 PM

by walking out or opening the door

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