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So tired of being sick and tired! (My story)

Oct 01, 2016 10:05 PM

Hi everyone. I'm new here and I thought I'd tell my story. My whole life I've had back pain but related it to scoliosis and never thought much of it. Three years ago (age 28) suddenly my left leg stopped working. They did a work up which included an MRI. The MRI was looking for a burst disc or something but instead showed a tumor. It was a scary time waiting for results from a biposy, which came back inconclusive. We had no choice but to remove the tumor. Due to the location (quadratis lumborum muscle) they sent me to an orthopedic surgeon (the only one in the area who does this). The surgery went well initially and the whole muscle was removed as the tumor was the size of an orange. A few days later the numbness wore off and I started having an awful burning pain in my hip and leg. I have had two babies and would prefer that over this pain. It was by far the worst pain I had ever had times 10. I ended up in the ER and they gave me gabapentin. Which took about a week but the pain finally became bare able but never fully went away. The tumor was a Schwannoma tumor which is a nerve sheath tumor. They are benign but do tend to regrow. Since this surgery thete hasn't been a day where I have had no pain. I have constant hip pain, leg pain and back pain. I've had multiple EMG's and MRI's which show no cause. Over the last year and a half I have been having arm pain and terrible foot pain. I'm exhausted all the time but I can't sleep. My doctor finally diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and chronic pain. It just sucks. I'm still young. I have two amazing kids (7 & 9) who deserve a mom who can go play with them and who doesn't need a nap after work everyday. I feel like I'm letting them down. My husband is amazing and understands and is so helpful. I was recently able to take a different job with less hours which is great. I have a clinical medical job so I am on my feet all day when I am at work. I also feel like I'm constantly fighting brain fuzziness at work which makes it harder. I can never sleep at night either and I'm so tired of complaining. All of this has made me depressed and anxious. I'm currently taking cymbalta and lyrica and hydrocodone at night along with methocarbamol. None of it really does much besides taking the edge off. I won't take the pain meds around my kids or if we are home alone because I feel like they deserve a totally present mom. The only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm asleep... which is rare. I know you are all going through similar things and I'm so sorry. This is the worst thin in the world. Pain sucks!!!

Oct 02, 2016 12:03 AM

Anna - am so sorry you are going through this.. My medication is kicking in so will have to sign out But. First wanted to our online family.

(((( hugs ))))

Oct 02, 2016 2:26 AM

Hi Anna 🌷 so nice to meet u hunni 🤗...u have a great looking family⚘ in ur profile pic (im not stalking u... its ok!😉) Welcome to the community😚 there are lots of us here... 😎in the same boat as u sweetie...and none of us brought a paddle! 🐧

🐫What we do have is a wealth of knowledge in how to⚘ find ways to make a life jacket..🤗. in order to keep ur head 🏝above water... and learn to keep it there, 🏖all together 🤗...just use the magnifyer to search... on the discussions page 🌷

Anyway petal 😚 welcome to the madness... hope i can give u a gggles or two 😄to help ur day pass with a smile 😚

Oct 02, 2016 7:49 AM

Hi Anna

I'm new here too. I haven't even told my story yet, I've just been reading posts and getting to know people. I wanted to respond to your post, to let you know that I walk in your shoes myself. I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease in my early 20s and raise two girls through multiple surgeries. Like you, I have an amazing husband, who I continue to lean on pretty heavily at times. I mainly wanted to encourage you, because it sounds like you're already doing a great job in spite of the circumstances you're living in. One thing I've noticed, in my oldest daughter especially, is her perseverance and strength through her own health issues. She continually credits me for the strength she has. Your children will learn how to overcome in life because of what they see in you. Even though you're limited physically, don't ever doubt that you are an amazing mother! I couldn't go to the park and play with the girls, but we could sit at the table and make tissue paper flowers to decorate their bedrooms. Quality time is the key. Pain does suck and it can rob you of so much! After more than 30 years of this, I completely understand where you are. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers for strength, support and peace. Love and blessings to you and your sweet family!

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