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Sorry y'all

Oct 15, 2015 6:14 PM

Had surgery today. This week privacy be the shortest post you'll ever see from me. Today has been a big blue blur and for that I'm grateful. But I worry that I won't be able to get my medicine filled or that my insurable won't cover it like they did last time.

If they don't cover it, I am one unhappy little lady. My mom is a saint and I'm glad she was here to take me and to deal with the medication. I know that had it been another person in my life, none of it would have gotten done. I hate putting my mom through this but she's good at it and I can depend on her.

I know a lot of us have been dismissed not only by our doctors but our families as well. For those of you living with that,sending y'all some love. I know what is like to be all alone in this battle.

Okay the pain is peaking. I am off to see if i can hold toast down. Best to you y'all 💕💕

Oct 15, 2015 6:33 PM

You're in my prayers Kitty! (((Hugs))) & hopes you'll have a short recuperating time. 🙏🌼

Oct 17, 2015 9:49 AM

Kitty, you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that the surgery helps you get better and that you recover quickly and completely. Sending you gentle {{{Hugs}}}} and best wishes for feeling better. Hang in there. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 17, 2015 7:22 PM

Thank you, Flappys and Alwayz.
I wish it were a simple surgery to recover from but now there's added things that I have to take care of in order to recover. I get to move not 4days after my surgery. And i can't do a thing but watch my mom pack up the cats & the cars. That's going to be the hardest part.

I am so glad that I've got y'all to lean on. I don't know how i got into this stupid mess but i really thought he was the one. He behaved like it for a while. And now..... I just don't know where that man is. And I'm pretty sure he's not to return.
But for the first time in a couple months i feel at peace with this decision. I am stressed with the logistics but other than that....

Here's to a full recovery and a houseful of animals and no people for at least 4 days (after the hasty get out of town move). Oh. please say a prayer for me to get through this without hurting myself further.

Much love to you all. Hope today finds you with a bit of comfort if not a whole lot of it. Big hugs

Oct 17, 2015 7:49 PM

I hope you get well soon! All the best with what you are enduring.

Oct 17, 2015 9:38 PM

Kitty26, the fact you feel peace with your decision says you're making the right one. 🙏🌼

Oct 18, 2015 11:23 AM

Kitty, I am glad that you are at peace with your decision. This way you can be certain you have made the correct one. You will be in my prayers today and every day moving forward. I am sending you {{{Hugs}}} and know that you will always have me and several others to lean on. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 18, 2015 1:34 PM

Thank you. I am so grateful for this group. And I'm going to find that password today because i need some one on one time because i feel at peace but I am in so much pain and it is absolutely not helping that I am sleeping next to him and I am keeping this wallop of a secret from him.

My excuse to myself? Is that it will be easier on us all is i just go without "help" that consists of shouting that I am just like all the others. When he told me that my response was? "you are in the makings of a self fulfilling prophecy there." i am certain he didn't know what i meant. But or entire relationship i have always been competing or being compared to his ex's behaviors. Along with other crap. Anyway this is so difficult! I thought he and I were going to get married.

But until he gets help to fix what happened to him in the past this will be his cycle. Not mine. I spent years in therapy to avoid being in an unhealthy relationship. And at first even part the honeymoon stage or was good. But then at some point out just went kerplunk and he started being secretive and not coming home on time and y'all know the story.

It just makes me feel like the bad guy. Oh wait. Yeah that's what he wants. Oh me oh my, i forgot for a second.

Oct 19, 2015 9:22 PM

Kitty, just lean on us. We're here for you! 🙏🌼

Oct 19, 2015 9:35 PM

Thank you. I am going to lean on y'all for a bit. I appreciate it. I really don't want to be the downer of the group. Usually I'm all about spreading joy and happiness. But i do need a few friends to lean on right now. And. I stopped throwing myself a pity party. I have plans to go look at houses tomorrow. I misunderstood what was written. What a surprise with only an hour sleep and blinding pain.

But I just don't lie the idea of one more week of playing at this. I'm not a liar but got to take care of myself and my dependents. No telling what could happen if he found out.

Oct 19, 2015 9:40 PM

Always a shoulder or an ear for you kitty. We're all more or less in the same boat. Just imagine what a boat trip that would be! Lol. Thinking happy thoughts for you. 🌹🌹😊

Oct 19, 2015 9:43 PM

Hi Kitty, you have to lie low for now. Go with the flow until you have the exit plan mapped out. Sorry your parents are not on the same page as you. If there is Internet research you need done let me know. I sit by the computer everyday elevating my foot above my heart until I heal. So I have time on my hands so to speak.

Oct 19, 2015 9:43 PM

Thanks for the happy thoughts. I'm receiving them loud and clear.

Oct 19, 2015 9:55 PM

Sending u lots of hugs and gentle peaceful thoughts

Oct 19, 2015 10:01 PM

Equine sister that would be a huge help. Maybe you could help me find out info on pet custody.
I have paid for all the vet visits, cat food, litter and all the labor feeding, medicating and cat boxes (I can count on one hand how often he's fed & done cat boxes)

Basically. I am looking for a website that can help me with a semi legally binding contract. Shared custody is something I'll try but there are conditions, such as of she becomes sick she must go to vet. And I'm sorry to be like this but she's (the cat) is NOT allowed near his youngest son EVER,well unless myself or parents are there to supervise (the kid throws rocks at my other cats and toys and I've seen him carry the kitten (cat in contract) in a headlock. I've also seen him elbow my oldest cat,, who is 11 right in the face). needless to say there are anger issues. And when kid comes over he does whatever he wants because dad trests his son like he does his gf, ignores him to play video games and gets annoyed and yells when kid tries to get his attention....)

I want to give bf chance with the kitty. But I have seen enough court shows to know that a contract signed by both parties is better than a verbal agreement. And when we adopted the car together or was agreed that we would sign the document and split EVERYTHING down the middle. I have never done something life spring an animal with a bf before because I never trusted them to be around. He came off differently at the beginning when I was not showing how sick I was.... Oh wait no yeah i was. He was just seeing past it into my heart. And now he's having a hard time hiding his true nature and keeping his word... Oh well. I'm not completely giving up but I've got to get the heck out of here, like last week.

Thanks for the offer to do research betcha didn't think I'd take you up on it, huh? Lol. I started to do it but i am so overwrought with worry about everything else. Please feel free to email me, hun.

Y'all rock. I'm over the moon with your support and kindness.

Sending & receiving lots of hope and positive energy to get through the weeks ahead.

💖💖💕 💜💕💖💖

Oct 19, 2015 10:10 PM

Sure you are in Louisiana right? How attached is he to the cat/cats? I was just curious. Does he disipline his child around them when the child is hurting them? I hear your moral obligation to protect the cats. But does he have that same sense?

Oct 19, 2015 10:17 PM

Document and take pictures of any abuse if you can.

Oct 19, 2015 10:38 PM

Kitty I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this while you are recuperating from surgery. What part of Louisiana do you live in? I live fairly close to border in Texas. Do you think he may fight you over the cat issue. I will keep you in my prayers, and sending you a great big hug.

Oct 20, 2015 2:39 AM

Kitty, you are in no way shape or form a downer for the group. I'm glad you had your pity party, we all have them and they are a good release sometimes from what we deal with. Sometimes you've had enough and wallow, been there, done that... I'm sure we all have. As far as needing friends to lean on, as you can see you have many of us here.. You lean as long and hard as you need to. Remember that this is a no judgement zone. We are here to listen and help where we can. We have all posted rants and raves and asked for support (or not asked for support) but always received it. Hang in there and I am sending {{{{Hugs}}}}, positive vibes and prayers your way.💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 20, 2015 3:58 AM

Prays kitty

Oct 20, 2015 8:41 AM

Kitty, it's hard to even fathom what you are going through at the moment. My prayers are with you, I had one of those too. The father of my 3 year old. Anyhow positive thoughts coming your way. A good pet mommy you are. I agree 100% with Equinesister. Document all of the abuse and pictures of possible. May the force be with you😜 Prayers and good vibes ✌️💜

Oct 20, 2015 3:49 PM

Thank you all. From the bottom of my broken heart, thank you.

As far as the bf being attached to the cat, he thinks he is. But the fact remains he treats her as he does everyone else in the household, ignores her and yells at her when she is doing what he doesn't want done (especially if he's in the middle of a video game match, whatever they call it). And he's not going to bring her to the vet, he simply doesn't have the money. (I don't know if i have written this before but his dog suffered from a broken rib from one of the kids being unsupervised while "playing 'with the dog. The dog was swollen to two or 3 x' s her size. For two months! I understand there is ignorance and then there are people who just don't have the money to have animals bc they don't priorotize the animal as being part of the family. He's told me that he's let an animal die before spending hundreds of dollars on it.......I live on very tight budget but I have a kitty for money for emergencies).

The kid only comes every other weekend. He'll be here this weekend and got the most part i keep the animals locked away from him because he has a stray cat at his mother's mothers house who is un-vetted and is sick and got our kitten sick. The kid knows not to mess with the cats when I'm around. I have only caught him doing it at the end of the act and give him my '"wth-are-you-doing?" - face'.

It's just that bf thinks the cat is his. When the cat sleeps with me, jumps on the bed on my side AND RUNS AWAY every time the bf tries to pet her when she's visiting me.

I have done cat rescue in my youth and in my early twenties, for nearly a decade. If he were applying to adopt one of my rescue cats I would deny his application. (I say application but pretty much we interviewed ppl and i gave my Yay or nay because out of the family I was best at telling whether a person/family would be willing to take animal to vet & make sure it stayed safe.) I just hate hate hate this

The only reason bf even wanted a cat was for a mouser. He had had cats before. Guess where they ended up because they weren't vetted (aka neutered given shots etc?).

He kicked them out of the house. Just like that.

Oct 20, 2015 3:51 PM

I have more to add but with my momma at the moment. Just got finished looking at houses for me to live!

Oct 20, 2015 4:37 PM

I don't think he has a moral obligation to the cat as i do. I really hate to do this. Ever so much.

But the bf is going to hear that we are going to take some space and a break. And it's true because I love him dearly but can't continue this way.

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