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Still fighting

Oct 26, 2015 10:55 PM

Hey all. Just checking in as i know i have been M.I.A lately. I have had a lot of appointments lately for all sorts of doctors. I have been put on two different anti depression meds which both make me very very sleepy. Nothing i am not use to i guess. Maybe with time i will get use to them but for now i take them around my kids school schedule so i am alert while i need to drive. I have seen a psychiatrist and i have a feeling she might be about to diagnose me bi polar. Mental health is a huge issue in my family so it wouldn't shock me. Pain wise i am managing ok but with the new meds have been slowing down. Today at my son's kinder they had dress up day and i went in fully dressed as a clown. My son was so proud of his old mum and it made me happy to make him happy. Feeling better in the sense of not as suicidal but i am in a high state and am waiting for the low to hit. Here's hoping it gets sorted soon. Sending lots of love and hugs to all of you πŸ˜—πŸ˜—πŸ˜—πŸ˜—

Oct 27, 2015 9:41 AM

Fallen, I am glad that you are on a high wave and that you feel pretty decent right now. One thing I am learning to do is live in the now (thanks to my buddy, Profiler). Try not to think about what may or may not come. Enjoy the feeling of being up right now. Don't concentrate on the anticipated low to follow.. If you don't, it may not come or it may take longer for it to come. I'm glad to hear that you're no suicidal I was very worried about you and then you were MIA so I couldn't check on you. Stay with us, when you feel down or think you're going on a downward spiral, reach out.. My hand will be there to grab yours. (I'm sure there will be several hands reaching out to you). Never worry about what you need to chat about because as I told you when I welcomed you, this is a no judgement zone. Sending love, {{{Hugs}}} and prayers your way. I'm really glad you're back!!πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»

Oct 27, 2015 1:39 PM

Fallen, Alwayz couldn't have said it any better! Glad to hear that your going good and that you are taking it one day at a time and enjoy your babies!

Oct 27, 2015 2:23 PM

Fallen, I am sorry if you end up getting the diagnosis that you are bipolar. It is just another thing we have to live with. I have bipolar. My lows are not bad and don't last very long. I am what they call a rapid cycler. I go up and down several times during the day. In general, I am happy. I became a little happier about being bipolar when I learned the history and about the people. Not that we can be happy about mental disease. But it also comes with some gifts unlike other mental disease. For instance their are many artist who are or were bipolar. They used very bright colors and were very creative. Their books, poems, drawings, ect, are very creative. That is part of being bipolar. Usually that comes with that. Think about how the highs make you passionate and the lows make you see the sad. We are very creative when we are able to see both. It is not something you would choose to live with but if you have it, you could look at the flip side of the coin. I am only telling you my experience. I wish you the best. I am sorry you have been so sad you have thought of suicide. I hope you see someone who gives you the support you need for those times. I have a psychiatrist but not a therapist. Every time I go, they say I have every thing worked out and know myself real well. They don't realize I need to talk to someone because I don't share with my family my inward thoughts. They are too messed up. So I need to find a therapist who will let me come back and just talk. Best wishes to you.

Oct 27, 2015 2:40 PM

Fallen, the image of you (a total stranger to me) in a clown suit made me smile.

Thanks for the smile!


Oct 27, 2015 3:03 PM

Fallen Alwayz said it all as MoparMom said. I want to add that I have my Daughter's fiancΓ© who is bipolar he hasn't had to take an medication in 4 years, he told me that he has learned how to deal with it. He goes off on his own for a while when he feels n it coming on. So far I have seen him do this about 3 times in the last year. I am hoping and praying that you don't have it, but if you do I am here if you need to talk about anything at all there will be several who will be hear if you need us. I am so happy that you are doing so great now. I would have loved to see you in that clown outfit I know your child loved it. If you feel like you are spiraling down reach out to some one here.Sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

Oct 27, 2015 3:08 PM

Well said Weezie!!!

We'll have to ask the Developers to add "images" to their feature list. 😊

Oct 27, 2015 4:30 PM

I once had a psychiatrist tell me that people who "suffer" from bipolar disorder are not you're average barn yard variety. More like exotic cats. Just like Profiler said there is a very creative side to the "disease" the stigma about any and all mental illness needs to be flushed down the toilette. This psychiatrist also told me that he believes that all of the creativity in the universe has and does and will come from people who have bipolar. It never defines who you are or makes you less worthy. You are wonderfully and uniquely put together. Just as you are. We all are we just need to accept it :) I'm here as much as I can handle, too much stimuli sends me off. I will be praying for you. If you want someone to talk to I would love to chat with you! Blessings βœŒοΈπŸ’œ

Oct 27, 2015 5:00 PM

To tell you the truth, most of the clinical psychologists I worked alongside in my PhD program had major issues they were trying to resolve. A good one is like finding a needle in a haystack!

Oct 27, 2015 5:14 PM

I think a lot of people who have mental issues Want to help others. I have an aunt (every families got at least one) she has her doctorate in Psychology, yet she acts like a 10 year old throwing temper tantrums and physically abusing people.

Oct 27, 2015 5:18 PM

I sincerely appreciate all of what you all have said. I just see this as yet another hurdle i will overcome. I think it is the not knowing part that annoys me the most. I kept getting directed to a home help service by these doctors only to find out yesterday that i don't qualify. Very frustrating. As far as my pain goes it hasn't been too bad lately. Knock on wood. I have been taking it easy lately but still getting a lot of flare ups in my hip and lower back. I am feeling good atm and am very appreciative of the few good days i get. Even my kids have noticed the difference. Meds help but i don't want them to be the be all and end all. Sending my love to all you gorgeous people xxxx

Oct 27, 2015 8:10 PM

Numbness, tingling in the legs and feet, pain in hips, shins, knees, neck, shoulders, lower back, chest, and weakness in arms, and legs. My fibromyalgia make it very hard for me to sleep. I'm in 7 months of fusion to my L- 4-5 and 1 year of left knee surgery I have a lot on my plate.

Oct 28, 2015 9:15 PM

Fallen in sorry I'm just getting to read many messages. I wasn't able to get on until late last night and tired quickly. I agree with everyone else's advice and supportive thoughts.

My sister was dx bipolar at 13 and they kept changing and/or adding meds for twenty years. Just a few years ago she stopped taking all her meds, and she's been so much better since. She then found a new doc and after about 3-4 months of counseling & the tests, they said she wasn't bipolar. Instead she was ADHD, OCD & Major depression. Be careful they don't tag you with the wrong dx. Good luck and I pray you'll find a really great doc! πŸ™πŸŒΌ

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