Before I had a diagnosis my husband told me that I should be doing all the same things my doctors and research has told me to do (which by the way that makes my husband a genius 😂 😝 lol!) so I had a head start with all of this stuff. I thought 💭 having a diagnosis would help make me feel better but the truth is I hate this whole situation.
I have fibromyalgia, a very complex syndrome. There is no cure, they don't know how I got it, and the treatment for the symptoms sucks!! I feel just as stuck as I did before my diagnosis.
I'm doing everything I should be from exercise to a crap 💩 load of other things. It never will end. I'm going to have To do this forever, not to cure my symptoms But just so I can remain functional and to reduce my pain. I'm so tired 😴 of trying. I just want to throw my hands up and throw a tantrum.
Screaming and yelling would feel great 👍 but who do I go off on? Who should I be mad 😡 at? Who deserves my wrath?
My condition is no ones fault. But I blame myself because I think my carefree youth is coming back to haunt me. If I ate better, exercised more, didnt pull so many all nighters, drank less, had better relationships, lived a healthier life style just maybe this wouldn't have happened to me. And I hate how much what I'm going through is affecting my husband and family.
Logically I will never know how I got this syndrome. But my guilt and self blame is killing me. I am doing my best to do everything im supposed to do for me and my family but it's never enough. Im always wondering if I should do more. I see all the things other wives and mothers do that I can't and it makes me feel so guilty.
Don't get me wrong. I have a husband who is my best friend for 16 years that women dream about. And my kids and family are extremely supportive and forgiving let alone understanding. My support system is awesome 👏!!!
And u may wonder what is wrong. That's just the problem. I feel like I short changed the people I love ❤️. They all deserve so much better than me. I'm not good enough for them and no gets why I feel this way.
Yes I'm having a bit of a pity party 🎉 as pathetic as it is. I'm so tired of dumping all my problems on them. My husband married a 98 pound 👊 23 year old woman 👵 who was a professional model and ended up with a 160 pound 40 year old disabled wife with health problems. I had all my kids in my 20's when I had all the energy in the world (btw I have had 6 kids). Now I'm exhausted 😩 getting dressed in the morning. I get so irritable 😡 sometimes and my family gets the brunt of it. My family has to deal with my migraines, my physical pain, exhaustion, and so on. I wish I could just give them the life they deserve.
Is anyone else going through this too? How do you deal with it?