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Terrified both of never being able to have kids and having kids, because of my chronic conditions.

Jul 14, 2015 2:08 AM

I feel like my biological clock is ticking to an end and I am quickly moving into the time to make the incredibly difficult decision of whether or not to do something I've always wanted to do with my whole heart; become a mother. I'm scared I will not be able to get pregnant, and if I do how to control my conditions? After I have the baby, what then? I already lost a husband to my chronic pain fight. He checked out when the going got tough. Not that I needed someone in my life who would dump me at the Emergency Room curb and then hit the nearest bar, but it stings to be left for something so out of your control. Especially when we were just discussing starting a family. So I dodged a bullet there. 1 divorce 0 kids. But now what? And maybe its better this way? That nature makes the decision as I gracefully age out? But my heart is breaking as all my friends have families and even the late bloomers have sprouted the darling buds of the next generation. And the cheese stands alone...

Jul 14, 2015 2:34 AM

Winnbliss36 I feel for your pain. I was opposite to you instead I had four miscarriage past the so called safe 12 wk stage. It seemed I was desperate for a baby and everywhere I looked I saw babies, friends had babies, TV adverts were babies. I didn't think it would ever happen. I was and am still in a wonderful marriage and now have 3 boys one on way to uni. To answer your question I felt great with hormones racing when I was pregnant. Felt the best I have done in ages. However surely u need a stable relationship just for mental support. I have terrible guilt trips for my kids having to care for me and not being the mum I always started to be. They knew a different mum and a more playful interactive mum.. I'm not sure how u would feel if u didn't have a child of ur own. Could you not adopt there are copus amounts of kids needing a mum who wants to love them. This way your body is not put through all the changes of pregnancy. It'd a hard decision only you can make. Good luck with future road you decide to make. X

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