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The auto pilot feeling....

Apr 28, 2016 12:16 PM

Maybe I'm alone here. But I feel as if I'm on autopilot. I'm exhausted. My muscles hurt my spirit is low and stress is off the charts. I've felt a flare coming for days . been pushing myself and hitting the wall. Last night as u may have seen I was up early feeling bad hurting ect.
I need to stop ,I need to rest, yet I csnt stop ,I am not feeling any one thing almost everything all at once. I find myself staring off in space thinking if all I need to do . yet feeling my body and it not responding. I went walking this morning since I could nkt sleep and found myself breaking down. Several times whike out. Yet had a list of errand waiting for me when I got home. I feel as if I sound crazy. I'm not meaning to sound pouty or whinny nor victimized. Just wondering if anyone can relate. I'm looking for open and honest feed back. I know I most likely just need to sit down and rest which is what I'm doing now. And I don't plan to do anything else for the rest of the day.

Apr 28, 2016 1:58 PM

You do not sound crazy. And you most definitely not alone. I've been feeling the same lately, but probably less pain than you. I just really suck with words so I haven't written anything. Ever since the chemical exposure at work I've been really off. I've had several little breakdowns since then complete with bawling and i don't cry. I've been trying to out run my problems on my elliptical but that hasn't happened. I know it's hard when your to do list is a mile long but please rest up. Maybe find a movie you love and watch that. I usually go to cartoons when i feel like crap and star wars the clone wars season 5 (the only one i have) has been watched over and over lately. Something soft to cuddle or pet can help, my teddy bear has been my cuddle buddy for the last week. Except when I'm at work then it's the little starwars plush toys a coworker bought me. Maybe breathing exercises or guided meditation to get your mind off your list for a while. I hope you start to feel better soon. When it comes to heath sleep/rest is the most important followed by proper nutrition then exercise. Please rest up and try to stop running into that wall, it hurts when that happens. 😉

Apr 28, 2016 2:10 PM

Thanks. It feels good to know I'm OK and not alone with my feeling. I've been on this journey for while and at times i think I'm OK but then days like today come and demolishes everything I thought I've learned. I am resting right now laying down watching Knight rider marathon.. Ha..don't juge me..lol I do feel if I can get a break from all the mental stress I coukd get a handle on my physical stress and pain.

Apr 28, 2016 3:31 PM

I am in no position to judge. I watch cartoons ment for small children. And mental/emotional stress makes physical problems worse so once that calms down a bit I'm sure you'll get a better handle on the physical.

Apr 28, 2016 3:33 PM

It is so hard to slow down. But necessary! If your life allows it rest as much as possible. Stretching a little can help so that when you don't have much energy you can stay mobile. The pain and fatigue can be so much. I have had severe anxiety attacks because I am worrying about what I can't do. Be careful of being "fibromanic", or doing too much when you don't have to just because you have the energy. It will just make it worse. I am sorry you are in pain.

Apr 28, 2016 4:06 PM

Asia..that is the perfect word for it..its as if even though I hurting and am so tired but if I can manage to get up I push because I know the crash is coming. So I try to get as much done as I can before that. I know in the back if my mind this is not good but I'm always in a fight with dealing with my inability to work. I'm always trying to prove something to myself. But then end up doing more harm then good. My uncle said something yesterday that " I'm trying to fix the machine faster then thr machine can fix itself " and it actually made a lot of since to me. But it is truly easier said then done.

Apr 28, 2016 4:29 PM

The one thing that helps me a lot, is camping. You would think that it would be tiresome, but it actually helps with the stress and pain. It removes you from the "real world" long enough to put aside your stress, and vitamin D from sunlight has been proven to help with fibromyalgia. Getting outside for just a few hours with no commitment is really awesome. After my last camping trip I actually felt like my pre-fibromyalgia self for about 2 weeks. I worked, and I felt my age (19). But I probably pushed it too hard even then. But right now it feels just like the cycle you described. I am on auto pilot trying to get through the week, and stressed, and not able to ask for help.

Apr 28, 2016 9:02 PM

Newfibrogirl, You've been under a lot of stress for weeks now. You don't sound crazy, just exhausted. Please do as little as possible for a few days, to allow your body, mind, and soul to recoup. You don't need to collapse. And I'm 54 and still live cartoons and the old shows! Lol. Sending you hugs& prayers! 🙂💕🙏🌼

Apr 29, 2016 2:24 PM

You're definitely not crazy. I get the same thing, and pain makes it so you just try to keep going

Apr 29, 2016 11:07 PM

You're definitely not alone, I experience this on a daily basis and am currently working with my therapist to try and find some relief from it. It's exhausting, especially on top of being physically ill😩

Apr 30, 2016 1:13 PM

Newfibrogirl you certainly aren't whining and you've NEVER played the victim roll. You have just articulated (and very well I should add) the way most of us with chronic pain feel on a daily basis. You look all around at the things that need to be done and your body says no freakin way!!! Your folks have not made it any easier for you. I know that your Mom is dealing with shingles and pain that comes with it and then you have to help when the nurse comes for your Dad. You are very stressed because all of the things that are thrust upon you and being the good daughter, you won't say no. I wish there was something I could tell you or say that would make you feel better. Just know that your are not ever alone. Remember that you have my number and you can use it at any time. Hang in there, I'm with you always. {{{Hugs}}}💕🙏🏻🌻😊

Apr 30, 2016 5:29 PM

Happens to me all the time. I think because we are always in pain that when catch a break we over due it everytime, instead of resting. For me I know I tend to treat my body like a machine and just keep pushing through the pain. After all that is probably how I got this broken anyway. Typically it gets really bad for me when I cannot get quality sleep. I fight the insomnia monster often and occasionally I win! Usually, if I sleep more than 3 hours in a row I am pretty excited. Most of the time I am able to go back to sleep, I just get up and do something quiet then go back to bed. We all need to remind ourselves that it is okay to take a break.

Apr 30, 2016 5:36 PM

You guys are all awesome. Thank you for helping me not feel so out on a limb. I'm learning that this pain journey is a very delicate dance. As a teacher I have a gentle patience nature. But when it comes to myself I'm a drill sergeant. So I'm learning to treat myself just as kind as I would anyone else I was caring for. Thanks again for lifting up.

Apr 30, 2016 6:39 PM

Thank you for "The auto pilot," I was sitting in bed, beyond fatigued & in pain, watching a kid's movie & missing birthdays of my granddaughter & a close friend, feeling like I'm nothing but a shadow until I saw these posts. The understanding goes a long way.

Apr 30, 2016 6:42 PM

Your welcome, and thank you for making me feel useful.. I'm glad inwas able.to help you. This is the great thing about this group we can come together even in our pain and somehow lift each other up

Apr 30, 2016 6:50 PM

It's really great, super helpful! I'm glad I found it:)

Apr 30, 2016 7:01 PM

I have lost nearly all the people who were in my life before I became disabled and have very few now.
It's hard for people; they can't see where it hurts. I even get surprised sometimes, I look in the mirror and that drill sergeant comes out yelling "Nose to the grindstone! Shoulder to the wheel! Ear to the ground! Chin up! Look lively!" Real good time to yell back, "Shut up! You're making us look ridiculous!"

Apr 30, 2016 9:07 PM

Lol..I know the feeling all to well..and then you push to hard the mental fight between your want to and your can do gets heated. And you end up in bed for four days.

Apr 30, 2016 9:56 PM

Yes, exactly. But once in a while you still get to be a hero. They'll never appreciate it, but through the pain I leapt out of bed to save five chickens and two ducks- from a windstorm that's sweeping in.
I've never caught a chicken in my life, but 70mph winds might have taught them how to fly. And we can't have that!

Apr 30, 2016 10:03 PM

Eew...! Now I smell well, worse than wet dog for sure.

Apr 30, 2016 10:07 PM

Hope you get feeling better, find a way to destress and maybe smile this evening.

May 02, 2016 10:27 PM

Thank all you guys are wonderful 7autoimmune I am still working in it.the s for keeping me.company

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