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The Drugs..

Dec 24, 2015 5:48 PM

I have RSD in my right ankle. I've been on evey painkiller you can name short of heroin (gross).
Im to the point where I don't know what to do. Three mental hospitals this year from pain initiated depression. I'm seeing about the ketamine coma treatment but in the mean time I'm on dilaudid and soma and morphine and some alcohol and poppy tea.
It's getting tiresome and I'm wishing there was a middle ground between death and this hell I'm in.

Ive fallen down the rabbit hole and I've began getting things fixed but its hard. EMT school at the end of January I hope and after that I think things will fall in order..
Idk.. Just venting. Hoping I can go just one more day without trying to kill myself again.
Thanks for listening.

Dec 24, 2015 6:07 PM

Have you tried DMSO? Just wondering...I also have RSD, although it started in my wrists, then went full body, but I'm back to somewhat functional. Good luck with ketamine.

Dec 24, 2015 6:50 PM

Hi Tim, I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. Please be careful with your meds.(they are powerful ones). I hope you can have peace of mind and comfort right now. Please remember you are Never alone, Depression affects my daily life. Thank you for reaching out and I hope you see we are reaching back to you right now.keep talking . keep breathing in and out.Love and Peace to you,Terri

Dec 24, 2015 9:34 PM

Welcome to our community family TimLinton! I'm sorry you're in so much pain and the meds you're on aren't helping much. I'm allergic to most pain meds so I rarely used any; I'm allergic to all yours. I have gabapentin for the fibromyalgia & muscle relaxers for the spasms. I don't have RSD so I can't offer any suggestions.

Depression is something I've fought for 20+ years, including one hospitalization and two recent episodes of suicidal thoughts (1 due to cymbalta). I've learned to pay attention to my thoughts & feelings. And I reach out for help when I think I need it. I have a team of docs, including a psychiatrist & psychologist, pain specialist, PCP, endocrine & rheumatologist docs. I hope you have a good team that communicates & works together. It's important for our best well being.

We are all here for you, so you don't need to battle this alone. You can vent, cry, chat, question, offer advice, pray, etc; no one is judged here. I will keep you in my prayers, and I wish you a peaceful Merry Christmas! (((Hugs))) to let you know you're in a good and safe community. πŸ™‚πŸ™πŸŒΌπŸŽ„

Dec 25, 2015 3:51 AM

Hi Tim, I know the feelings also. There is never a bridge I drive over that I don't think about "should I do it now?" Really sucks, eh! But then I stop and think about the family and dog. It's so very hard

Dec 25, 2015 12:44 PM

I don't know what state you are in, but after all my resources were exhausted,and I do mean all (dilaudid, all other narc pain meds, gabapentin, you name it).
After much research, deliberation and dragging my feet I decided that I would try marijuana. It took about a month for it to really kick in, but now 3 months in I would never go back. A normal day 3 months ago would put me at a constant 6-7 with flares of 8-10.
Now it's a constant 2-4 with flares of a 6-8(much less often) and the flares are less often until the cold weather hit. The last two weeks have been difficult but easier than before.
I know you are planning on EMT raining and this may not be a viable option, but please if nothing else look into it.
If you have questions, I check often.
Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Dec 25, 2015 4:21 PM

Now talk about a holistic natural med...lol. Not judging at all..I would if I could but its not a feasible alternative where I live and I don't know how my doc would feel about it. Hmmm, at least I can ask how she feels anyway, right!? Tim, I hope and pray you get some mental release from the stress of constant pain, wishing you Love and Blessings, Terri

Dec 25, 2015 11:00 PM

Tim I know it is hard when you are in such pain. But don't give up it sounds like you are looking to the future by starting EMT school. That's great just remember to take care of youself. We are always on if you need to talk to someone who understands what you are going thru. Will keep you in my prayers sending hugs your way.

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