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The feeling of GUILT

Jun 20, 2017 10:50 PM

Does anyone have any advice on not feeling guilty about being in pain and not being able to do stuff that you used too?? Also about not sleeping well and laying awake in pain and feeling guilty because I should be asleep its 4.46 am here in the uk and am still awake and in pain, I didn't ask to be like this nor do i want to be like this yet I feel soooo Guilty like it's all my fault and letting not just friends and family down but also society down by not conforming to a normal day or existence :(

Thanks guys :)

Jun 20, 2017 11:05 PM

Everyone's normal is different. You have to accept that. You should not feel guilt because that makes pain worse. Try finding ways to do things to help all out. I started with a list of chores. Then did a score on them by how hard they were for me to complete, if I could do them partially or not at all. Those that I could do all by my self are mine, I will fight you for them, lol.Then list things you can do out of the home and try once a month to do them. Just by making a list on real paper you find you can do more than you thought. Post that list for all to see, then allow the others to add input. They might come up w ideas.

Jun 20, 2017 11:09 PM

That sounds a great idea thank you. I suppose it will also help when I have done the tasks I have a record to look back on a show myself I have achieved something. Thank you for the idea :)

Jun 20, 2017 11:12 PM

It helps all in the house hold to know what you can do, and you can see yourself when you can add or take away.

Jun 21, 2017 7:27 PM

My wife sometimes gets mad at me for constantly apologizing for not being able to do things I normally can do on my good days. The guilt is anyways there we just have to accept that there are things we can and can't do on good and bad days. And then there are things we just need to push through the pain and do regardless, like taking care of small children or pets since they can't wait for us to feel better.

Jun 21, 2017 9:51 PM

My husband is a complete assessments about it I was never Mary's friggin Poppins to start out with and now I'm off work he feels our house should be spotless when he gets home and I am a lazy idle person. Not understanding at all

Jun 22, 2017 12:37 AM

I do. I am trying to accept my new "norm". I constantly push myself and either way i feel bad by guilt of physical pain

Jun 22, 2017 1:05 AM

I feel constantly like my partner doesn't deserve this crap. We started dating about a month before I started having problems, and he's been an angel, most understanding guy ever. We can't always do normal couple stuff and most of the time I have next to no energy. He didn't sign up for this. :/

Jun 22, 2017 11:46 PM

I find the guilt leads to even more stress which in turn leads to more sleepless nights and causes the pain to get much worse it's like they are a vicious never ending circle that feed off each other. I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have to live like this but sometimes I think what would it be like if my family and all the never ending useless doctors could just experience the constant existence of pain, stress, depression and guilt just for one week only and then see how they act and what they say And how the treat us!! Also with the doctors I bet treatment options would be so much better!

Jun 23, 2017 3:42 AM

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