This has been a tough week. Exhaustion at a very high level and pain is making it impossible to sleep. The bit of sleep I have had is not restorative...
I am struggling to focus at work, I cannot seem to get through a few hours without wanting to get back into bed.
It is one of those days where I don't want to pretend that I am ok. I don't want to fake a smile and I just want to be able to cry and scream from my frustration.
I am tired of being strong and I am tired of trying to manage my irritability so that I don't snap or lash out at my loved ones or people at work.
I want to be left alone but I don't want to be lonely...
I am tired of talking about my pain and sounding like a moaning murtle.
I want to be able to go for treatments and pay for my meds without having to worry financially about the amount of money my pain is costing me.
I want to feel good inside my own skin again. I want to be able to gym and stay up late at night socialising. I want to be able to work a 12 hour day if I so wished.
I want to be able to know what it feels like to not have pain without being drug induced...
Apologies for the rant everyone but just need to express my emotions or I might explode!!!!