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The last straw...

Feb 17, 2017 4:43 PM

Over the past few weeks, my Fibromyalgia has gotten worse to the point where I'm having flares EVERY day. I haven't had a full pain-free hour in so long that I've started thinking I'm better off out of it. I've started to think about possible ways to kill myself without making it look like suicide because I don't want that to be the last memory my kids have of me. I feel terrible to even be contemplating it, but everyday I get deeper into this depression and I can't shake myself out of it. I can't plan anything more than an hour in advance because I have no idea if I'll be functional or in crippling agony. What I can I do to talk myself down from the ledge?

Feb 17, 2017 6:28 PM

I'm so sorry to read that you are so past your coping place.

I have found a few things has lessen my fibromyalgia pain. Unfortunately it's not an instant.
I eleminated gluten ... Depending on your meds, I have been taking 5 htp. Can't say I'm less cranky but that crying at the time has improved.
The gluten .. my burn pain has decreased.

The 5 htp has improved my sleep .. still isn't super great but better.

Have you tried talking to your dr? It sounds like something needs to give ...And it can't be you.

It's hard to find a Dr who gets the impact of pain.

I really wish I had something concrete to share with you.

Please be kind to yourself. Just take one hour at a time.

Hugs.

Feb 17, 2017 7:39 PM

Remember that sometimes your medication can bring on depression please talk to your doctor as soon as you can

Feb 17, 2017 7:59 PM

That's true. Whatever meds you might be taking could be making you feel worse. Talk to your Dr. About switching. Also consider therapy mental health is just as important and just because physical health is taking on alot it doesn't mean you have to suffer mentally as well.
I haven't got much in terms of pain management tips but try and take 10 minutes avlrasr once a day to just focus on mental. Deep breaths have a cup of tea count the leaves on a tree just something to keep yourself from focusing too much on pain

Feb 18, 2017 2:04 AM

Nixie sorry to read your dilemma I've been where you are in a place where ending things looks like the best option I rang samatitans and couldn't speak to them. All that got me through was knowing my kids and family would have room deal with it. I've since joined a couple closes sites related fibromyalgia and it really helps i have also started attending à monthly drop in centre at the fibro myalgia. My pain is constant around level 5 and never goes bèlow. If you fancy a chat email me on andrewwalters@live.co.uk big gentle hugs Andy

Feb 18, 2017 2:43 PM

Take a deep breath hon. Now exhale it slowly. I'm like that too. I had scheduled Jan 20th to be my last day. I had told several people and written all the letters to people. Ready to go. Then my roomie begged me not to. I've had some good times and bad times since then, but it has given me a glimmer of hope.

Feb 18, 2017 4:14 PM

Sometimes you just need to keep breathing. You can get through, just one breath at a time. Others are right too. Call your Dr. Tell them you are severely depressed and need immediate appointment. Meds can really mess you up. I have lost years due to depression that was a side effect of antidepressants used for controlling pain. Don't wait and don't do anything to hurt yourself.

Feb 18, 2017 4:24 PM

I'm really sorry to hear you feel this way :( I've been there my self when my "flare ups" last for weeks on end and it just ends up being my base pain getting worse, you've gone through the hardest part which is learning to love with it, and as cruel as the pain is we just autopilot and get in with it. Write down your feelings and fears and maybe talk to a family member of your gp

Feb 19, 2017 2:39 PM

Thanks everyone for your supportive messages. I live in a country that has only basic healthcare, so Fibromyalgia isn't really something anyone knows much about. I'm seeing the only rheumatologist around and he's rather old-fashioned and doesn't believe in listening to patients. I have to work, however bad I get and I'm usually around 8-10 pain. I havent told my family about it except my mum and I've had to downplay it a great deal, she just tells me to "shake it off and pray more" I do have several supportive friends for whom I'm very grateful

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