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Tis the season for stress

Dec 10, 2016 9:35 PM

I've always disliked Christmas. Too many obligations and having to visit and spend time with people I don't necessarily like. Too busy and never getting my birthday to me.
This year I get the added stress of chemical sensitivity on top of the normal Christmas crap. I'll be spending several hours in a smokers house followed by several hours in an air freshener addicts house, all on Christmas day. I'm trying to cancel my birthday because i dont want the stress of people in my home but i doubt the boyfriends mom will listen and will show up with her chain smoking hubby.
Then the boyfriends birthday is the 30th and his family will be coming over, his parents and his cousins, the cousins all smoke a lot too and love their scented stuff. I get sick from smoke on people clothing. I still can't wear the jacket I wore to the boyfriend parents place that i have washed 4 times without getting sick, so it's guaranteed that I'll get sick from them being in my home. Hopefully it comes off the chairs fairly easily. And on top of his family hanging out from 7pm to 9pm he will be hosting a poker game with all his karate friends starting around 9:30pm. One of them is a really rich guy that wears cologne every day, so even if he doesn't wear any that day it'll be on his jacket and clothing. The boyfriend will be asking people to not wear perfume or cologne or use scented lotion but he isn't going to say anything about laundry detergents or dryer sheets or smoking. He doesn't think anyone smokes, I'm pretty sure the rich guy smokes.
I'm going to move all my stuff out of the front closet so that my stuff won't get contaminated by other people's stuff. I'm planning on setting up the poker stuff upstairs so that both his family and his friends will be on the main floor and hopefully the basement remains safe. We have a bungalow though so the bedroom is on the main floor. I'm hoping it's not too bad and that i can use the kitchen, living room and bedroom the next day. That night i will be sleeping in the basement. I plan on saying hi to his karate friends then hiding in the basement. But i have to be social when his family is over, and not snapping at people because of their addictions. I'm hoping it warms up so that i can crack the windows when people are over and hopefully air the place out a bit.
I can't use anything to cover the couch, people just pull the blankets down and put them on their laps. So besides wearing my mask, which will offend, does anyone have any ideas on how i can protect myself and my home during all this?

Dec 10, 2016 11:42 PM

Oh no. That is so much added stress for you. :( I can almost understand those people not changing things in their homes but to not respect your needs in your own home is just rude. Especially the smoking. When I was growing up they hadn't realized the dangers of second hand smoke. My dad smoked a lot..I was sick - a lot. Ugh.. And at Christmas we went to his parents house where the pillows were all feather pillows. I was always sick at Christmas. Am so sorry you are dealing with so much.

Dec 11, 2016 12:39 AM

They won't smoke in my home, but they'll stand right at the door and have a smoke. The front step is covered so it just hangs there and it'll be in their clothing and on their skin and get all over my things.

Dec 11, 2016 1:58 AM

Boundaries....no smoking in house or on patio. Set up a couple of chairs a distance from the doorways past the awnings/patio cover. That does not solve the residual smoke & perfume smells. Hang in there & but the Happy Upcoming Birthday. Were you born on the 25th? Prepare to air out the house the next day. Have you had any success with air purifiers? There are some for $35 being advertised. At that price could use several . I am thinking of all these concerns in prayer. Hang in there birthday girl.🤓💓💕

Dec 11, 2016 2:02 AM

My birthday is the 24th.
A good air purifier starts above $300 and just goes up from there.
I have 2 cheaper ones, they'll help but it's not going to solve the particles on the furniture problem. And apparently i have to let them sit on the couch and the chairs. Something about it being rude to make everyone stand for hours.

Dec 11, 2016 2:07 AM

😃Yeah that would be rude. I feel for ya. I have the family theater coming up for Christmas too. We all small & pretend everything is good. Even though confused mom in law alone with her forgetful wealth 9p year old husband. He is hard of hearing so can't help mom when she calls. We've found her on the bedroom floor on Than5.

Dec 11, 2016 2:09 AM

That would be Thanksgiving 😐

Dec 11, 2016 2:41 AM

I hadn't realised you had posted this when I replied to your comment on the other post!!!!

I'm with Tamtoad on this one....set up a smoking area away from the house if you can, when people come to my house I tell them they have to go at least half way down the path if they want to smoke because I hate the smell of it.
I'm really sorry but as much as your boyfriend will ask people not to wear perfumes, colognes or scented lotions some probably still will either out of forgetfulness or because they don't think you're as bad as he says.
You need to do what's best for you so if people are offended by you wearing a facemask then that's their problem, they've been told that you have the sensitivities so if they don't listen then that's on them.
I don't have any suggestions that might help I'm sorry I wish I did, the only thing I can suggest is to take anything that you don't want contaminated and put it in the basement, the less things you have in and around the areas everyone is going to be the easier it'll be to get rid of the lingering smells.
I don't know much about air purifiers so I can't comment on whether they'd help or not but certainly the next day if you can handle the cold for an hour or two open the windows and doors to air the house out a bit.

Sending you positive vibes and warm protective hugs xx

Dec 11, 2016 8:11 AM

Well said, Sezzy!! I agree. It's so hard when there are so many people visiting and in and out of your home. I have a large family (4 siblings) and I have 10 nieces and nephews. So, when I get overwhelmed, I go to my room so that I can be alone and don't have to wear that "mask" as that is exhausting all on its own. Somehow I know you'll manage. You're a warrior just like the rest of us and you'll figure it out. We're all here and have your back. Sending positive vibes and well wishes your way. (And don't forget to enforce the boundaries). {{{Hugs}}}💕😊

Dec 11, 2016 9:26 AM

Gotobef. I wish there was a magical answer. It might not be a bad idea to cover the furniture. Maybe use old sheets and pin them a round the legs so they can't be removed? You can usually find used sheets at thrift stores that still look decent?

For most people getting ready to go out is so routine they don't even think about it, so will be surprised if they don't have cologne or perfume on. Some will remember but most won't. :(

Can you put a sign on your door and somewhere inside where they can see it That says "Designated smoking area in the North Forty (or whever you set it up...) All other areas are non smoking areas. Thank you for your cooperation." it's not much but maybe it will help some.

My sister in law smoked as does her two boys. When here they use those vaping cigarettes and sit out on the back patio. The smell isn't quite as bad that way.

Dec 11, 2016 12:43 PM

Silent scream ... Wow that's just nuts about how smelly everyone is. I feel for you. Thinking maybe a fancy cover over the furniture as a bit of a washable barrier.

Good old baking soda sprinkled and then vacuumed up later. I use BBQ charcoal all over my mom's basement to absorb the smells and moisture.

I've add oils to the baking powder in a jar and shaken it up, let it rest. And used that on carpets.

Days like that it would nice to live south and keep everyone outside.

Dryer sheets and that had awful freeze breeze are the worst ... Good luck!!!

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