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Too tired for sex

Sep 11, 2016 7:36 PM

Always tired and never feel good. I do good to get through work each week which leaves me lying around all weekend to rest. Too tired or hurting so, I hate to say it, but sex is the furthest thing from my mind. What do you do when your husband gets mad? I feel so guilty and worthless already 😢

Sep 11, 2016 8:44 PM

Please don't feel worthless.......EVER! Working and living life through the pain is no easy task, but you are doing it. Be proud of that. Not having energy to have sex with your partner is understandable, and upsetting to both parties. It is difficult for someone not in constant pain to understand why we aren't in the mood, or can't be bothered to have sex. For some of us sex is painful. Communication is one of the keys for your partner to understand. Maybe having them pick up some of the chores around the house, or errands that need to be done will allow you time to rest and in turn you will have more energy to have fun in the bedroom. Switch it up and start your weekend off with a bang and then kick back and rest.....

Sep 12, 2016 12:38 AM

Sometimes I wake up at odd hours and can't fall back to sleep. My husband never minds if I wake him up for some lovin! Sometimes I'm feeling pretty good before dinner, he never minds postponing dinner a bit. See where I'm going with this? Sex doesn't have to be the last thing you do before bed at night. Make it a priority. Leave other things left undone if you have to. It's important because without it, he feels less important. That's likely why he get angry. I've found that telling my husband things like, "If I could move, I'd be all over you!" help. It lets him know that I want him, too.

Sep 12, 2016 2:38 AM

I haven't had sex in about 6 months. I cant. The pain im in just makes me not want to anymore. We have tried a lot of positions but i cant. And when im about to cum my pain is worse.

Sep 12, 2016 3:35 AM

I've Benn getting what they call orgasm migraines. Just before climax or o rgasam I get shooting intense brain in a red hot vice headaches where I'm practically paralyzed. It pounds in my head for about 3o min.then it's headache for days. Anyone else heard of this?

Sep 12, 2016 7:47 AM

similar here. My libido say "let's go" , but my body says "..nah......nooooo." My wife is understanding because she has her own complications (endometriosis ).

Sep 12, 2016 9:56 AM

My husband is afraid to touch me because he's afraid to hurt me. I found that the best time is after a long Epson salt bath in the morning, the bath relaxes my body. Yes my whole body will hurt after just try talking with it try different things to find your comfort zone, like sideways. Even still its only about 2 times per month for me.

Sep 12, 2016 5:43 PM

I think we are having two different conversations.

The first one is about being too tired for sex. It's a legitimate problem with its own set of solutions.

The second is being physically unable to participate in sex due to pain or other medical reasons.

Both are important conversations, but they are dramatically different.

Sep 12, 2016 9:11 PM

I have pain when I have sex so I avoid it as much as I can haven't had sex for 4 to six months.i know how hard this is for my husband..sometimes i wish I was okay with cheating so he could have sex with someone else but I can't be that person! I feel like a terrible wife and I feel so guilty all the time!! Advice anyone?

Sep 13, 2016 1:40 AM

Anna, there have been other threads on this subject (painful sex) and after giving it some thought I'm going to go on and touch on something that most people may be uncomfortable with. There are other ways to be intimate with your husband/wife other than intetcourse. You can set up a quiet evening with romantic music, a nice meal, candles, music, some slow dancing and kissing, touching, etc.. Instead of automatically thinking the next step after foreplay HAS to be full on sex... No, it doesn't. You can just be with one another. Touching, fondling, etc. there are many ways to get your partner to climax and it's not at all necessary to be in horrible pain to satisfy one or the other. You can still reach orgasm, be in more comfortable and relaxed positions because you're not stressing over the actual "act" of sexual intercourse and can still love one another physically and have a fulfilling love life. (All it takes is some imagination and the willingness to try something new). Hands, toys, mouths, etc. can all make a huge difference. I know some will be uncomfortable with this post but if it helps your significant other to feel loved and makes you feel better that you were able to participate instead of saying no because of pain will bring better feeliings of togetherness and loving. I hope this was helpful to y'all. Relax, enjoy and discover new and exciting ways to love one another. 💕😉😘😍🤗

Sep 13, 2016 2:45 AM

Alwayzinpain you took the words right out of my mouth . I agree with you totally. Intimacy is not just sex but that connection one has with another human being. Exploring this will take one to a different level and not to mention the fun 😋

Sep 13, 2016 6:03 AM

Eleni, I hope that others take a step back and think about it objectively. It can keep things interesting and fresh. I appreciate the back-up Eleni.... I just wanted to help. 😊😊

Sep 13, 2016 9:36 AM

It's awesome you said that, that hit me hard yesterday brought me to tears. My spouse and I write notes to each other and do alot together he never complains about my pain and only wants to help me. I could on my few good days make candle light dinners give him back rubs ect. I love these forums it's so enlightening to not be alone.

Sep 13, 2016 9:58 AM

I hope so too Alwaysinpain. Our pain has led us to travel on a difficult path testing us at every corner. The key is that we continue to empower ourselves rather than become consumed by the pain. Providing support is a beautiful gesture - social glue that connects us.

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