Learn from patients with pain similar to yours

CatchMyPain Community and Pain Diary App to manage chronic illness

Torn between pissed and humored

Nov 01, 2015 9:27 PM

So my sis often attempts to diminish my pain by saying yes I hurt too. I was with her this past week for my aunts service. She parked on the road and my side was in a ditch . so I had to slide out the car and climb up out a roadside ditch. remember I've just had surgery. So when I hear her say yes I hurt too..I want to snap. She is 50 and I'm only 36. So our pain is nothing alike . and she does not have fibromayalgia. It bothers me but like I said I really find it stupid for her to say something like that and I really want to be smart mouth when this happens.

Nov 01, 2015 9:40 PM

Omg, that's so rude of her. Send her these:
1. http://www.mtv.com/news/2061806/chronic-illness-wish-understood/
. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

her down next time by saying, "I understand you have pain in your life too. But this isn't a competition. When you say that, it makes me feel like you don't care about me. I just had surgery, and I have multiple painful chronic conditions that will never go away and will only get worse. If you'd like to learn more about them and what they do to me every day I would be happy to send you some information, or you could go with me to my doctors appointment."

Nov 01, 2015 9:41 PM

I hear you. At least you still talk to your sister. I haven't talked to mine in 6 yrs. She refused to believe I was in pain, even after all she saw me go through. I gave up trying to convince anyone of my pain, and concentrate on getting myself better. I've only gone down hill but I didn't have to deal with the crap she kept spewing out all the time.

Nov 01, 2015 9:44 PM

People, especially family (and doctors sometimes!), can be so insensitive. It's called empathy, people! I swear sometimes my animals are more sympathetic.

Nov 01, 2015 9:49 PM

This is why I have an emotional support dog. She goes with me everywhere. She helps with my anxiety and stuff. She cares more than most people. I like my animals more than I do people at this point.

Nov 01, 2015 9:49 PM

Ugh, that's terrible Cearea. When I was a kid, before the doctors could figure out why I was in so much pain, my mom actually called me a hypochondriac. It really hurt and is still a source of anxiety for me, even though she has gotten a lot better with me. The irony of it is that I was born with my condition, and I was the first baby to have a new technique used to put me back together. So she should have known better. Like your sister should. I hope she never develops a chronic condition.

Nov 01, 2015 9:51 PM

That's awesome! Can you take Her everywhere? I have terrible anxiety, and would love to be able to have a support animal I could take with me places.

Nov 01, 2015 9:52 PM

I know it's mean but I kinda hope she does. Just so she knows what it's like.

Nov 01, 2015 9:59 PM

Well said Amieleblanc! 🙏đŸŒŧ

Nov 01, 2015 9:59 PM

I have had that situation to. I often want to say. And the winner to the '(BUTT WHO SAID IT)' for suffering the most pain. lt makes me so mad. I don't mind if they tell me their condition and I can tell their pain is worse but to suggest their pain is comparable or worse means they think they can analyze just how we bad we feel and what we should be able to put up with. Because if they are able to do the things they are doing with the pain they say there in, then they are suggesting we should be able to do the same. Maybe I am too sensitive about this. I don't know.

Nov 01, 2015 10:03 PM

I don't think it's mean, you're just frustrated. Some people will never understand until they themselves experience a painful chronic condition.

Nov 01, 2015 10:04 PM

I take her everywhere. I just had my Dr. certify that my dog was an emotional support dog. Of course you need to train them in basic obedience and they need a vest. That's pretty much it for an emotional support dog. Depending on where you live u may need a few other things. Research it in the area in which you live.

Nov 01, 2015 10:10 PM

What's fummy my mom was helping changey dressing and when we were done she wanted to do the mommy gave smoosh..I was not feeling it so I was asking her to not and kind dodging her hands.. Once I got frustrated I said I wish u could feel what I feel for just one hour then I'll know how annoying this is..she stopped immediately and got real serious and said no.. Don't wish that on me..and then left..

Nov 01, 2015 10:11 PM

Thanks Flappyslady. I've had to actually say something like that before 😕.

Profiler, you aren't being too sensitive. A lot of people think they can compare things like, say, a sprained ankle to diabetic neuropathy, or being sad for a few days to actual depression. For some reason people have a difficult time understanding that chronic conditions don't go away and are usually more complicated and painful then they want to believe.

Nov 01, 2015 10:18 PM

Newfibrogirl, I can't believe she said that. Walking in someone else's shoes is how you learn compassion. Where is her compassion? Her miffed-ness was a little selfish. ☚ī¸

Nov 01, 2015 10:25 PM

Cearea, I read that you have an emotional support dog! You say they need basic obedience and a vest, idk if its just in your area that, that is a requirement but where I live you don't even need the dog to have a vest! It might be different in different places though :p

Nov 03, 2015 11:42 AM

OMG!! I'm sorry she did that to you, Hun. How absolutely insensitive!! (And you can show her this!!) personally, had that been my sister, I'd have slapped her, but that's just me if I get angry enough. (Actually, it takes a lot to get me to that point.. You really have to be doing rotten things to me to anger me.. But what your sister did WAS rotten!!)

Nov 03, 2015 1:58 PM

In order to take a service dog into places where there is food, like a restaurant or grocery store, they should have a vest. In Texas, they have to. Certification of a service dog will help in monetary terms. No pet deposits because they aren't pets, they are working dogs. Same with hotels, taking them on planes, trains, etc. Vests can be purchased online, they aren't expensive and you can pick the patch you want, like service dog, therapy dog etc.

Nov 03, 2015 2:15 PM

Jenna how are you doing?

Nov 03, 2015 2:31 PM

I use to have a service dog. Due to me having hypoglycemia. I loved her and miss her so much. My dog trixie died and I've not had the heart to replace her. I trained her myself and yes I took her everywhere. II had a bag for her. Since she was only 15 lbs but I really could use a dog right now.

Nov 03, 2015 2:33 PM

😔 so sorry

Nov 03, 2015 4:13 PM

I'm so sorry. Maybe you will feel that the time is right soon. You won't be replacing her, just adding to your family.

Ready to start relieving your pain?

Join Community