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Tough Explanations

Sep 17, 2015 9:45 PM

This year, I have several new teachers, some of which aren't very sympathetic so far when I'm trying to figure out my limits. All the teachers from last year are fine, I just hate having to explain invisible illness, and that no, I can not use a pencil. Grrr. I can reference an inability to walk that they never saw. Tears cried they will hopefully never see.
I try not to define myself by illness, but CRPS has taken over my life from time to time, or non stop for a few months. I'm more literal thinking than before. I don't know what any things my peers can talk about endlessly are, but I know a bit about medicine.

Sep 17, 2015 9:54 PM

Chronic pain can make one grow up way to fast, you can feel like you miss out on so much. I never understood my peers. At the time I didn't understand what set me apart from them. Now that I'm in my 40s I look back and realise that they weren't dealing with the pain I was. At the time I didn't even know that what I was feeling was pain.
I hope you can settle into this year quickly, and be as comfortable as possible.

Sep 18, 2015 10:15 AM

Ferretbandit, I had a normal healthy childhood so I can't advise you there. All I can say is try to enjoy what you can, learn & experience new things when you can. Try and broaden your knowledge outside of medical info, like developing new interests and hobbies. And when you can't, don't beat yourself up. I wish you atop the best for a great year. 🙏🌼

Sep 18, 2015 9:04 PM

From my own personal experiences it was and is far easier to lift up the back of my shirt and show a 20+ inch scar that goes down my entire spine than to explain a pain that no one can see. I have only recently decided that I finally need to just be me and drop the I need to look a certain way. This is much easier for me now because of life experiences, all of which you have not had yet. I am in no way saying that you are immature, faking or making light of any of your very real health issues. The fact of the matter is that at 49 years old, you no longer have to deal with high school bullshit. I do not care what anyone thinks about how I look or act any longer. I understand that is near impossible at your age. Peer pressure, bullies and catty high school girls are a very long gone blip on my radar screen. Teachers should not be that critical or need to know your business. Have you approched your guidance counselor about this? That should be their job to explain what is going on with you to your teachers. When I cannot do my hair a certain way or wear a certain style I do not care. Sometimes it is just going to be a ponytail, blue jeans with no make up kinda day. The people that truly are my friends love me the way that I am. I am grateful that I stopped killing myself, wasting valuable energy trying to attain unrealistic goals/appearances for people that do NOT matter. I wish that for you, and only for you that I could go back to high school and be the person that I am now. I would gladly walk the hall with you and just be a friend in whatever capacity you needed. I can tell you that life changes and it shows you what really matters. I wish you did not have to deal with this unnecessary drama. Please see your guidance counselor and get their assistance. For the record I never want to go back to high school again and I cannot imagine how hard it is now with social media, there is no escape. I was very fortunate that my daughter was the kid that did not really care what people thought. She is an awesome, hilarious, goofy and sometimes dingy blonde, but it worked for her. She still (age 26) has the same core group of friends since junior high. It gets better that is all I can tell you. Besides all of us here got your back. Hang in there. There is far more to life than high school.

Sep 18, 2015 9:15 PM

Ugh, high school is THE worst! I agree, you should get your guidance counselor to talk to your teachers. There is ZERO reason for you to have to defend yourself constantly to them. No way. You tell the counselor and if the teachers don't want to be advocates to you, you tell the counselor you want different teachers. You do NOT need to put up with that. I did... and I wish I hadn't. Don't put up with bull crap from "authority figures" bc you absolutely have enough to deal with without that! Guidance counselors are there to be your advocates, so use them! 😊 I really hope this helps you.

Sep 19, 2015 9:09 PM

Ferretbandit, LMB & Kittypain are right about the guidance counselor. I'm just so stressed right now that I forgot about my high school years. Good luck! 🙏🌼

Sep 19, 2015 10:44 PM

The hard thing is that I trust my teachers more than the guidance counselor. Thanks for all the advice.

Sep 19, 2015 10:51 PM

If there is paperwork on the web you could copy , do that and give to each teacher and your counselor ands principals. If you are in the USA your doctor could call the school and provide them info.

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