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Tough times. Please share a funny, cute story/joke/inspirational quote 🎈

Jun 03, 2016 7:31 AM

Hi everyone.

As you may see it's been a tough haul. Not that I am different from any of you and the times you are going through. But would love to hear a funny or cute inspirational story/joke/quote. I do not believe in God, but if that helps you that is ok to share.
I think it is awesome thing that our dog and cat stick close to me at these times πŸ•πŸˆ. My dog Biscuit has always and Jessie our cat has started to take over since Biscuit got sick a couple weeks ago. I thought we might loose her. Jessie makes her rounds checking my daughter's room, jumping up on my bed to say good night, then getting comfy with Biscuit for the night on Biscuit's bed 🐾❀️

Thank you for sharing for sharing some sunshine. Beets.

Jun 03, 2016 7:40 AM

Beets,
Sorry for your struggle. Seems we are all in some sort of rough patch. This is pretty funny now but when it happened, it wasn't at all. When I was in high school, I was walking the hall with a fella that I lived by and grew up with. We were chatting away and all of a sudden I'm on the floor and couldn't imagine what the hell was so slippery. Well, he was still talking to me and when he realized that I didn't answer, he turned around and saw me on the floor. The person waking ahead of me was eating and I stepped right on a meatball and landed on my ass!!! Something like that can only happen to me... LMAO!!! (Hope you gotta giggle out of my story and hope everyone has a better day). Lots of love, {{Hugs}} and prayers to all. πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸŒ»πŸ˜Š

Jun 03, 2016 1:27 PM

My husband always makes me laugh to help me with my pain. One day we watched something about Richard Simmons, later that night he came dancing through the living room in his underwear, long white socks and a headband on singing... Let's get physical πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†!!! Hope I made you smile

Jun 03, 2016 1:47 PM

LMAO!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Jun 03, 2016 1:55 PM

To ba a fly on our wall πŸ‘€πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ™ƒβ˜ΊοΈ

Jun 03, 2016 2:06 PM

For sure!!!! πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚πŸ˜³

Jun 03, 2016 4:26 PM

"We can be happy without all the answers." Tiny Buddha.
No matter what your beliefs, this quote applies.

Jun 03, 2016 6:10 PM

Well, the most recent thing that have me a chuckle is I was helping my neighbor walk her do since she was in school and busy. Well I ran into the wall and had a lot going on at my house so I was not able to get over there for about two week. So one afternoon I was outside with my game and I saw Duke( the dog) and I waved and said hi Duke..well, then Duke looked at me turned his head and walked away took a few steps and looked back over his shoulder and stuck his tail in the air and sat down....i was like what!!!!??? Did he just flip me off? I was like oh no Duke don't have an attitude..ha..he was so mad at me. Lol

Jun 03, 2016 10:14 PM

Thank you.
Beets 🎈

Jun 03, 2016 10:21 PM

Keep 'em coming! This should be a regular feature. 🌸🌻🌹

Jun 11, 2016 10:47 PM

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." Dolly Parton

Jun 12, 2016 12:29 AM

My friend has a dog called Biscuit too. She's a sweetie. They also have a Guinea pig called Lilly. When Lilly matured the 11year old daughter asked why Lilly had 2 furry lumps down there where the private bits are. Haha it turns out Lilly is a boy! Lilly now has a girlfriend called Pumkin and the 11 year old tells me they like to "wrestle" a lot haha I think there might be a few more Pumpkins and Lilly's on the way. Biscuit had puppies last year and the family kept one and calls her Bird after Big bird from Sesame Street. I have recently adopted a cat called Bailey after the Drink Baileys Irish Creme. He was getting beat up by a nasty blue Persian called Blue. Since he was in danger in his own neighbourhood we have given Bailey refugee status and has a safe furrever home with me. I love animals their antics always make me smile and they keep me moving without noticing. I don't need a gym membership I own a cat! LOL

Jun 13, 2016 1:52 PM

"The other side of the other side of the other side is the other side" -Gin
"I'm not alright, I'm Katsura!"
Ack...no now I'm thinking of all these jokes from my fave comedy. Ack! Thanks for the laugh guys

Jun 13, 2016 2:17 PM

We moved to a no pets house & gave our 2 dogs and one Siamese to "Tim" who lives alone.

He treats them a little too much like people.The Siamese has taken to dipping his paws in Tim's glass of milk and lapping it off; dip, lap, repeat.

Tim finds this endearing. I think he'd better act like the alpha animal or there's trouble a'brewin'. Need I say, "eeew!"

Jun 13, 2016 3:21 PM

ο»Ώ
6 LITTLE STORIES

{1} Once all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.
That's FAITH

{2} When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
That's TRUST

{3} Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.
That's HOPE

{4} We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.
That's CONFIDENCE

{5} We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.
That's LOVE

{6} On an old man's shirt was written a sentence: 'I am not 90 years old...I am sweet 16 with 74 years experience'
That's ATTITUDE

Have a good week and live your life like the 6 stories!

May you always have love to share, health to spare & friends who care...


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Jun 13, 2016 4:47 PM

Autoimmunes, I was saying gross with you...awww!

Kitoux, love this!!

πŸ™‚πŸ’•πŸ™πŸŒΌ

Jun 13, 2016 5:40 PM

So very true. Thank you for sharing.

Jun 14, 2016 12:24 AM

I have a joke:

So an elderly couple goes to the doctors for their yearly check up, and at the end, the husband asks the wife if he can talk to the doctor alone. The wife complies and as soon as she loves, the husband sighs a big breath of relief.

"Doc", he says, "I have a big problem. I think there may be something wrong with my heart."

"Oh? What seems to be the problem."

"Well, see, the first time my wife and I have sex, I get very hot and sweaty and I can't catch my breath. But the second time we have sex, I'm so cold that my toes are froze, my sweat turns cold, and I'm shivering afterwards!"

The doctor is baffled himself so he sends the husband to get a round of tests including extensive bloodwork and an MRI. A few weeks later, he brings them both in the review the results, but before he brings them in, he asks to see the wife first. He starts to explain why he gave the tests and that not a single one provided an answer to the problem. He says he hopes she can help fill in the missing pieces. She starts laughing. She is laughing so hard that she's shaking with her whole body, tears coming out of her eyes, knee slapping laughter. When she quiets down a bit she says:

"Oh that loveable, forgetful idiot. The first time we have sex is June and the second is in December!"

Jun 14, 2016 9:18 PM

One evening after a crazy busy day at work, I had a quick shower and put on a coverup that looks more like a flowing dress than a robe, then started dinner. Reaching the place where the meal is cooking on it's own I decided to sit in my chair out on the patio & enjoy the beauty of a hot summer pm. The chair was one of those vintage metal ones with bent pipe arms. I loved that chair. I had 2 of them. They were pink. I got comfy beside the large iron plant holder. The flowers smell delicious in the heat. I raised my arms over my head and yawned hugely right at the very moment the old metal chair cracked from rust. It went over backward, hit the plant stand sending soil and pots raining down and wedged into the corner of our house. I shriek in horror and struggled to right myself while calling hubby frantically & softly. The robe is all I have on and it is nearly over my head along with soil and flowers. I am trying to call my husband to rescue me without being too loud because the house directly behind us is two story annnndd they have 4 teen age boys. Wild abandon. Help! I cannot move so tightly wedged am I. And very nearly upside down! I finally get hb's attention by, yes of course full lung yell. He strolls outside & starts laughing at me saying " well, now you appear to have a problem" while I am hissing at him about neighbors. He had quite a time hauling me & all the stuff broken and overturned out of the corner. Stupid things happen to me!! I wish you strength for whatever pain you have tonight and sleep to dream to forget.

Jun 14, 2016 9:24 PM

That was hilarious thank you for the visual glad you're ok

Jun 15, 2016 12:05 PM

Silvrrry, that was very funny! I so relate... It reminded me of when we were sitting down to eat supper (appx 20 yr ago). We had a very cheap dining set. My hubby & children were waiting for me. I placed the dish of food on the table and as I sat down the chair bottom fell through and my body followed. My tailbone hit the floor, and my legs and arms were sticking straight up. I was wedged so tightly I thought my hubby would have to break the legs apart to get me out. Ours girls were laughing hysterically while my hubby tried not to. It's funny now, but it wasn't them. It's also partly responsible for my sacral-lumbar issues. πŸ˜‰

Jun 15, 2016 9:01 PM

Funny moments
I was doing a hydrotherapy treatment and I used the flat bed they had .. I knew it was a bad idea but I tried anyway. I finished my treatment and tries to get up and the first batch attempt was a horrible disaster. I fell back on the bed I tried again and flopped back again this time rolling a little. I the realized I had no more control so I figured I'd use my cane and then fell back again this time with the cane in the air.. I looked like a beaches whale. And my pride did not let me call for help. So I said im gonna roll over has hard and fast as I can and roll off the side. At this moment I remember I'm suoer short and table is about 5 ft up..so as I'm hurdling toward the ground feet first I think maybe I should have called for help..i did manage to get off the table of course canceling our and relaxation I got from the treatment...ha... the funniest thing my sis was on the table just ahead of me. And she said I thought I heard u struggling but I was so relaxed I did look back..I'm like geez thanks...lol

Jun 07, 2017 11:21 PM

So very true!πŸ˜πŸ‘πŸ’ž

Jun 08, 2017 6:18 PM

Vizallygirl - hahahahahha Richard Simmons doppelgΓ€nger teehee. Awesome!

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