So last night was a hard night. Sleepless aggravated and bone pain. So I was up and down most of the night. So since emom went to church I figured I'd try and help out. I went to wash dishes and my back would not cooperate. I had to take breaks and even had to get a chair whike putting the silverware away. I did it but the whole time was think how awful this is. I csnt even stand to put away forks. I know it's something I have to do for right now but it still feels bad to me. My cane is aways with me although I'm starting to get use to it now. But of course, would perfer to not need it. It's really during these times the long painful night thst have the most time to dwell. Will it ever change? Will I ever get to a point where I'm just ok with life at a lower level.?
The process of redefining who you are is challenging and painful. Sometimes the grief for who I once was still hits me out of the blue. When it does, I let myself grieve, but not for too long. Mostly I'm ok with who I am now. I have found ways to give service, ways to find joy, ways to bring meaning to my chronic life. You'll get there, too. It won't always be this hard. You'll have a good day, and then even more good days! Hang in there.
Newfibrogirl, it's hard to get through surgery and recuperation for a healthy person. It's 2-3x harder for those chronically in pain from other issues, and usually with multiple health problems, besides the surgery. It's going to take you longer. Don't try to do everything all at once, start in slow reduced increments. Put away the silverware, rest 30+ minutes, put away plates/bowels, rest 30-60+ minutes, etc etc. You'll get there but it may take quite awhile. Don't get frustrated at yourself, as you are doing the best you can. Hugs love & prayers as you rebuild your tolerance, endurance, & conditioning of your body! 🙂💕🙏🌸