Hey all, tomorrow is back to school and I'm tired and simply stressed, but if it's here at least I have a chance of sleeping...so here goes something.
I feel like I'm falling again, falling down, tripping up, getting up to speed yet again. My school project is behind, I'm confused and my head is mush after a lot of news. New relationships, my sister is freaking out, and I feel she'll run away soon.
My whole family is pretty bad at organizing, and we're really the wrong family to properly support my sis, we're inconsistent at consequences, forgetful, and give second chances all the time.
Yet, even as I write, she may be telling others she's been abused when it's simply not true and she took over my room last night, cleaned it just like my stepmom used to when she's pissed.
Sister's been stealing my roommates stuff, apparently my sis doesn't like her. I'm a pushover, she literally pushes me around even though I'm about 40 pounds heavier.
My sister is still starving herself, except the occasional carb filled snack. She runs in front of cars without thinking, and I can't help but fear for her, and fear her.
I get sick thinking of her coming home. She's ripped up and murdered my things before, I should be used to it, but I'm really not, meanwhile my sis is opening a closet few knew existed.
I'm so tired, so stressed, I can barely think straight. I was up till 3 last night, until my exhaustion beat out my nausea and numbness. I feel like my stepmom is back in the house, and I don't know what to do. We can't have her leave, she doesn't want to stay. She keeps on saying things are okay, but it's a lie, a facade, so she can avoid the blame.
And here I am stupidly ranting
I hate this! Our car is broken, our family friend doesn't trust us and I'm just tired, so tired. My leg is number than normal, and I can't imagine normal. Have school tomorrow, projects unfinished, don't even know how I'll focus near my group members.
Why do I have to think this much?