I'm so over this pain. I'm at play rehearsal right now and I'm sitting on the stairs and crying because I was in a half (the cheerleading stunt) and in the squish (that's the part when you come down) I slipped a little and now I'm just in agonising pain and I took one more of my medication than I'm supposed to, and a peer started yelling at me in the dressing rooms and I'm really bad about crying because I already feel like I'm not very masculine because of my size but I just can't stop it hurts so much and I'm so over it. I hate this so much, I just want to be better. It hurts so bad. I just want to be okay. I know that I need to wait, and I just haven't learned and figured out all my coping mechanisms yet, but I don't want to wait anymore, and I can't take any breaks this week. From now until Saturday, is busy every day, all day, and it's all either school or play rehearsal (which is a lot of physical work for me) and I'm just losing it. It's so hard.