Those that think we're weak are just clueless, we fight so hard every day. Here's my typical day...
6:45 am - wake up, my arm is asleep from my shoulder down. It feels like I've been hit by a bus. I can't bear weight on my ankles. I waddle to wake Bub up for school. I creak when I move. I take a hot shower to stretch and get moving. My shoulder pops when I wash my hair and try to fix it. I'm warmed up and stretched and it's time to go. We head out the door.
7:45 - drop my kiddo off at school and then head to my first client's house to work on taking morning meds & injections. He does well and makes my heart happy
8:15 - commute to work. Christian radio is on, coffee in my cup, devices charged, reinforcers refilled, and I'm good to go!
9 - 11am - I work with a little client. 3 years old. Loves gross motor play and vestibular input. Being well paired is essential with this friend. We're running, tickling, and I'm picking her up and swinging her around. She shrieks with excitement and makes great eye contact and seeks me out for more interaction! I love it! My body doesn't, it's already groaning loudly at me. We're up and down, on the floor, on our feet, bending to potty train, up and down, up and down. It's 11, time for her to go. We had a great session. We're both smiling. My body is NOT happy.
11-2 pm - I work with another friend, a 6 year old. We're paired and work well together. I have a chance to "rest" in that I'm not on the go AS much. My neck (c-spine and upper T-spine) feels tight, achy, burning. I look down and streeeetch my neck. Over and over I stretch, hoping to get some relief. I take some aleve.
2-5 pm - I work with another little client. Another 3 year old. He likes to move and play too. We jump on the trampoline, we're up and down, up and down, from the floor to our feet, potty training, doing all the moving and shaking I did in the morning only I'm slower and I'm EXHAUSTED by now but I can't slow down or he'll leave me behind. Gotta keep up. He does really well, I'm able to get some good work out of him. It's 4:30 and time to head home. It's 80 something outside but I've got my heated seats on high because its like having a heating pad on. I drive him home to his mom only to find out he's fallen asleep in the car seat on the way home. I carry this sweet, sleepy boy up 3 flights of stairs to his apartment and deliver him with a smile. My hips are burning. My legs are shaking. I can't wait to get home.
5:30 - I get home. Thank God my husband's cooking dinner! I called and told him I'm wiped out and I can't do it tonight so he stepped up. Oh how I appreciate that man! My lower back is throbbing, aching, burning. I'm getting sharp stabbing pains from my low back down through my hips in addition to the tightness and pressure and pain on my spine. I sit on the couch with 2 pillows behind me for support and muddle through dinner. Not really hungry, more nauseous but I eat anyway because my meds will upset my stomach if I don't. I'm done...with dinner and my day. I have to sit down to change into my night clothes.
6:30 pm - The hubby brings me my ice pack and I lie in bed with it under my lower back. I can't move. I'm wincing in pain and every other word is, "I'm hurting." I'd have to say this is an 8 day. Maybe 9. I take my tramadol and flexeril. Dear God let these meds kick in quickly. My upper spine hurts and causes my chest to hurt. It's hard to breathe. The pain literally takes my breath away. I get up to go to the bathroom and my back almost goes out. Hmm...I wish I didn't leave my cane in the car. Now would be the time to use it. Crap. I make it back to bed.
9 pm - ice pack is warm. Time for the hearing pad. Meds have kicked in and taken the edge off. I'll try to sleep but I KNOW I'll end up waking up in a couple hours panting and screaming, unable to move because my back will be frozen solid. I'm SO looking forward to sleep! Sense the sarcasm? Oh well it is what it is. It's worth a shot.
And tomorrow I'll put on my best face and do it again, to the best of my ability. What scares me is what if I can't someday? What if I can't put on a brave face and push through the pain anymore? What then? It terrifies me. This is my passion and I've put in so much time and effort, literally blood, sweat, and tears into this profession. I've got all this schooling and training but it all leads to this career. What if I get to the point that I can't do it anymore??? What the hell will I do with myself??? It's so scary to think about that but I do on days like today.
10:30 pm - everybody is sleeping, the husband is snoring, and I'm pondering life's difficulties. Forget it, it's too much to worry about. Time for prayers, gotta give it to God and trust that everything will be okay. I'll try to sleep. Goodnight.