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What can I do better?

Oct 06, 2019 10:09 PM

Hello community, I have a random question, and I kind of need to vent, (I hope that's OK).
My partner told me he's sick of hearing about my pain and my whinging.
Well, I thought I was doing a pretty good job at not voicing my pain much at all. Only when I do something that hurts really bad I will say ouch, but only when it catches me off guard -you know, like when I banged my broken arm on the door or something.
I'm doing my best to keep upbeat and appreciate what I do have.
I haven't shown any signs of depression to him at all.
So my question is, what can I do better?
I thank him every day for working hard, I do everything around the house despite my pain (fibromyalgia and currently a broken arm).
Please don't simply suggest I leave him!
I'm after some serious advice. I'm certain other people on this forum have dealt with the same issues. It's a hard time for everyone, suffering from any chronic illness.
I thank you in advance for having a read and for any possible advice.

Oct 08, 2019 10:24 PM

Katpain, I understand where your coming from. My husband would get irritated on occasion because I would be unable to do some activity he could. It wasnโ€™t until he had an unexpected hospitalization that he began to see what it was like to suffer from chronic pain, you know that old saying โ€œwalk a mile in my shoes.โ€ Perhaps it was a bad day for him? Do the best you can every day. Thatโ€™s all you can do. Otherwise the problem is his and he has to come to terms with your limits. Good luck๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿฆ‹๐Ÿ™

Oct 24, 2019 3:47 PM

Hey Katpain, I'm sorry my response is late. I agree with what Painwarrior said. Do your best but don't overpass yourself. I keep doing so trying to walk just with my came (instead of the walker) & keep having setbacks. I'm praying today in my hip for walking too much with just a cane yesterday!! Only you know your limits, and it's ok to say you're tired and hurting. If he can't handle it then if suggest asking him to go to your appointments with you, and ask your doctors to educate him. That's what I did with my hubby several years ago, and it wasn't until he heard the doctors describe what my life will be like going forward that the lightbulb finally clocked on & he began to understand. And he's really become empathetic since his prostate surgery in February, and his hernia surgery next week; he's "walking a mile in my shoes" on a road I've been on for decades, but especially the past 15 yrs. Be honest and tell him how you feel, and don't hold it in. Send him off to a hobby if you just need some space! Hugs love & prayers! ๐Ÿ™‚โค๐Ÿ™๐ŸŒผ

Nov 10, 2019 3:24 AM

Katpain- I no longer have a spouse. My family has abandon me. Couldn't deal with my illness. In my doctor's office there was a great article for People living with those with Chronic illness and in Chronic pain. There was another article for Those living with Chronic Pain. It explains what a person with chronic pain / chronic illness goes through and what they need from loved ones and care givers. It also told how caregivers should take care of themselves. The other article told how those with chronic pain should care for themselves and explained their behaviors and how to understand mood changes. Maybe you can find something on line to share with your mate. I will be praying for you.

Nov 10, 2019 7:05 AM

Hi guys sorry you are have all this trouble. I am sending you my prayers and understanding also. I am really lucky I got my soul mate fiancรฉ to care and Love me for me ...
Hug to you all Shore hang in there ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘โค๏ธ๐Ÿค—

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