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What can I do/say?

Feb 29, 2016 2:03 AM

My dad and aunt are telling me I'm on too many meds and shouldn't be taking them, and have I tried ibuprofen . . . I just want to cry.

I have multiple chronic conditions, which all cause different kinds of pain and after decades of suffering, a month ago I started seeing a doctor at a pain clinic.

I'm going back tomorrow. But am supposed to be visiting, staying with the only relatives from my family of origin soon. They're in their 90's.

I'm expected to help care for them for an indefinite period but I can't stay more than 4 weeks or I won't get refills. I love and cherish them very much.

What can I say or do to help them understand?

Feb 29, 2016 2:54 AM

Don't know why my body here doesn't show the pain I have all over every day --

Feb 29, 2016 5:07 AM

When it comes to medication, many of us are on quite a list of them. I am on about fourteen different meds. But a good many of them are to be taken as I need them, not everyday. When you have chronic pain, usually there will be a few causes and then they will cause other problems from taking different meds. Or your blood pressure goes up from pain. You might need an anti-depressant to deal with the pain and the depression that comes with it. So you have to explain to them that your chronic pain has a spiraling effect on your body and its varying systems.

As far as chronic pain is concerned, you are just going to have to sit them down and explain to them that they can't see pain but you feel it. Explain what it feels like and what it does to you. Explain how it limits you and what you feel like you can't do anymore. We want empathy from others, not sympathy. We want them to imagine what it is like to be in our shoes. They do that by using their imagination. They can only do that if you pass onto them knowledge of your situation.

In the end, you may not be able to please them them. I think you can though. If you can communicate. But in the end you have to take care of your body and health. Best wishes to you.

Feb 29, 2016 9:00 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar situation, my parents think ibuprofen is enough for my severe pain.

I would suggest taking them with you to your next clinic visit, if you can. That way the doctor can explain the benefits of the medications and why you need them.

Feb 29, 2016 9:47 AM

Yes, good thoughts, all. They are States apart from me, but I'm going to keep talking . . . they both have chronic back pain so I'll use that as a starting point.
My dad's so funny though, he thinks he can get hooked on pain meds from a patch his Dr prescribed.
Thanks all.

Feb 29, 2016 5:49 PM

My family was shocked when I showed them my daily meds (18) and why I take each one. I also explained the needed for the PRN meds (10). They all agreed I need them and agreed they're glad they aren't me. Lol!

Mar 01, 2016 1:38 PM

Definitely try to show them and explain what each pill is for. Maybe even ahow them your pain charts on this app so they can see wher, when, and how much you hurt.
I am trying to convince my VA doc that I need the pills, don't like feeling high, and am not the type to become addicted. The one pain pill she gave me interacted with other meds and STILL did nothing for my pain.
At least this year I got a great Medicare plan and got some Ty3 from my awesome civilian doctor.
The military said FREE medical care, not GOOD medical care, lol!

Mar 01, 2016 11:49 PM

I'm so sorry they don't understand. Most of my family doesn't either. I tried and tried to explain. When that didn't work, I just kept repeating "This what my doctors told me to do. It HELPS! I'd appreciate understanding but if you can't do that, then don't talk to me about it all." which got shortened to "not talking about it" after a million times. They still don't understand, but they don't say anything... It's a solution- of sorts...

Mar 02, 2016 4:15 AM

Showing this app is a Great idea. I will do that. Thanks :')

I only have Medicaid so most DR's won't see me, but I make-do. And yep Gardener, not talking about it is what I've resorted to with others. I suppose it makes them more comfortable to believe I'm exaggerating or lying.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Thank you for your support.

When I'm asked what I have, I can't remember it all and look at notes - when they care to take a beat; usually they're glazed over by #3.

I do wish they understood why I can't work, or stick to a to-do list, shop quickly, do much housework, etc. They're content to say, "But you look so good." Grrr.

Tonight I woke up at 2:AM and realized that I forgot one diagnosis in this app. Now I can't sleep but have to be up at 7:AM to take my granddaughter to school.

Then per my usual, I'll feel Guilty for going back to sleep, though I get so tired I'm literally stumbling around and can't tell the difference between my phone and the TV remote. Hmm... Putting on my party hat again *<];'). Just for fun.

I figure you can laugh, cry, or tear your hair out, and so I laugh . . . most of the time.

Mar 02, 2016 6:15 AM

It's so good to know I am not alone as well! My husband told me once - "I just keep hoping that when I ask you, how you are doing, that you will just lie to me" - I do believe my jaw is still on the floor from that insensitivity... Everything will be okay, right? I know I want it to be. (((Hugs)))

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