For me it's been my relationship with my boyfriend, friendships With Friends, the quality of my crafts, and the quality of my work. The #2 top things it runied is the quality of my life and it robbed me of my independency. F*** YOU FIBRO!
I am so sorry. I know Chronic Pain takes so much away from us. I had to give up my nursing career. But it also made my children more compassionate. It helped me to understand how not to sweat the small stuff. It showed me how important it is to have those few really true friends verses the many "friends". And it allowed me to be available to care for my parents. So it does take but there are hidden blessings to be found as well.
My career most of the things I loved to do at the spur of the moment . One day of being 'normal' causes 3 days in bed curled on a ball crying popping pills like tic-tacs. Being sad on the day that I am normal and remembering I am still in here somewhere. It really screws with you mentally. What I thought were real friends that just vanished when I needed them the most. The list can go on and on. Learning new limits, I suck at that one. That is a comical one for me I am super type A so I have basically two speeds. Full speed ahead then crash and start over. I think I need a govenor (not sure of spelling) implanted like they have in school buses so they cannot speed. My other half keeps threatening jokingly to put a fitbit and a shock collar on me so that I am only allowed to take it much slower. I laugh, I could not ask for a better man. He is beyond amazing and kind.
I've only recently been DX with fibromyalgia but I've been dealing with Trigeminal neuralgia for the past 2 years, it's nerve pain on the left side of my face, it has cost me many things but it has made me realise that the pain doesn't define who I am. Yes I've had to reassess my life and my options but it has also made me realise that it's the small things that make life great, it's made me stop and realise that I need to sit and talk with my kids more, laugh with them more, be silly with them, to actually watch them grow up rather than miss it because I was looking back at the why's and what if's. It's also helping shape them for the future as they are learning to do things for themselves....They can both use the washing machine and tumble dryer, they are learning to cook although they try to get out of the chores like washing up and vacuuming!!!
To be honest I can't look back and dwell on the things that could have been because that road leads to the darkness inside I don't want to ever see again. Nowadays I try to stay as positive as possible around my conditions but everyone one is entitled to a pity party every now and then but the trick is not to allow yourself to stay there for too long. Now I allow myself up to 5 minutes a day to feel sorry for myself and let the emotions out....If you hold them in they will come out in one way or another and that means more pain so I let the emotions come out and I feel that emotion.
I've also found that concentrating on the why's and what if's was turning me in to a very bitter and angry person and I was losing more friends and family because who wants to be with someone who only talks negatively, who doesn't see the joy in other people's lives because they're angry that they can't do it and are bitter that their friend has their life with no limitations. As soon as I started trying to be positive and happy and stopped being angry at everyone, people started to come back in my life, there isn't many but they are my "real" friends who try to help and understand and not the people who were in my life because I served a purpose for them.
I hope that in time you will look for the positives in life and celebrate life as best you can. I'm sending you positive vibes and warm loving hugs xx
Sezzy, thank you that was very uplifting to read. I was still pretty healthy when my child was young for that I am thankful. We discovered my leukemia while I was pregnant with her so she did witness a few bad years but that taught her great compassion. Something most adults need to learn.
LMB thank you and yes compassion is missing from too many people I've found but I'm doing my best to forgive their lack of understanding and trying to live the best way I can, in as much light as I can live in or rather be as positive as I can be and as happy as I can be.
I'm happy that your daughter has been taught compassion, the same as my 2, it is a wonderful gift that will help them through their lives
I had aspired to become a paramedic & work in a trauma center. I was able to be a Basic EMT for a year before my doc advised me to quit that kind of work because of my knees. This was the beginning of rhe end of my dreams...
I was diagnosed just before my last semester of college. Thankfully I only had two classes left and very understanding professors, if not I probably wouldn't have graduated. But what was terrible is that I was so close to attaining what I worked so hard in school for. It was my dream to be an art teacher. It's been three months now since I have graduated and I don't know what to do with my life.
I'm a 25 year veteran in the trenches of substitute teaching. I loved every moment of my career.
Taylor...look at what you CAN do rather than what you can't. Yes, our pain can be debilitating, but loving what we do certainly can take the edge off. I loved my job so much that I have always said that I've never worked a day in my life. You can find that kiddo.
Being a Nurse with Fibro has completely exhausted me, I had to cut hours, work part time, so financially, moving 120- 90 lbs clients around is the worst when I have pain. I loved taking care of people, now it seems like I need taking care of, but no one there, because I have no one to depend on financially or physically and I have 4 children, not working isn't an option
My dream since I was a young child was to be a nurse. I wanted to help save lives and be there to support others. At age 19 I graduated high school is my diploma AND my nursing assistant license. I worked for three month before the pain was too much. It's only progressed since then. Those were the best three months of my life. But I had to give up my lisence and accept it. I'm now going to school for social work but I'll never be as satisfied as I was nursing. Relationships can be hard. I always feel like a burden.
Sorry accidentally saved when i was trying to edit. I have this burning/bruised feeling all over on my skin but mostly on my spine. I have so much pain sometimes i just currl up in bed and pray. When i am in. Less pain i try to enjoy whatever i can, especially my grandson that iam raising. If he was'nt here i may not be because this pain causes my depression to become severe. I cant work anymore mainly due to the CFS, i fall asleep driving, while working- its horrible. It along with chronic pain and asthma has completely destroyed my ability to function as an productive member of society. It has disabled me but i am ok with everything except the poverty. Once i get SSI ill be ok with that. How am i ok- i think i pray all of the time and care for myself in many other ways. The other part i dislike severly is the weight gain, i lack energy take meds that cause weight ggain and have arthritis in my feet, knees, and hips. I try to do something (LIGHT) every day. So fibromyalgia and its friends have ruined my life as it was before forcing me to create a new one. I am in the beginning of this process and i think it will be ok.
My dreams of traveling around the world, finishing college, dancing, my thin body, my quality of life and much more.
But I have gained more confidence in myself, learned how to do things I never thought I could, figured out that there are more ways to treat my pain than just pain meds, I've become a active patient advocate for myself, I now know how to pace myself, I've begun new hobbies like writing a book and doing research for my book, I have learned to be grateful for every good day I have and that every bad day isn't the end of the world. I have most of all been forced to go deep inside myself and have begun learning about who I really am. And I've begun to get my priorities straight.
My pain has taken away my twelve years of martial arts, sword fighting, dancing, Disneyland, hiking and working out, sex, running, cooking and my bodily strength.
You want to know what it has not taken away? It has not taken away my spirit! I will control my pain, my pain will not control me. I have 9 herniated discs and every movement reminds me that it's there however I'm not going to let it ruin my life. God has a sense of humor and throws of these curve balls and I've got just as crazy of a sense of humor.
I could list things like job, friends, sex, sitting in a chair, but one night I had a reality moment. Ie hit me that if i was using these things to judge my self worth, my value then I had a pretty low opinion of myself and those around me. I realize I was what was 'ruining' my life, my ideas and views. So I am working on accepting my new normal, Yes these are inconvenience s but the way you view them can be what is distructive .