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What makes it a "bad night" for you?

Jun 07, 2019 7:40 AM

Is pain during the night worse than waking up & not being able to return to sleep? Or is it waking up every few hours, or not being able to sleep at all that's worse?

Many nights I wake up from pain and have to change positions, or to go to the bathroom every 2-3 hours from my overactive bladder. And I've had many "insomniac" nights of zero sleep. I feel tired from nights like that but can usually get through the day with a little more caffeine.

Nights like last night are my worst: I fell asleep just after 11:00 pm and woke about 2:00 am to go to the bathroom, then fell right back to sleep. Of course I had to change positions because my low back was hurting. Then I woke again at 4:10 am to go to the bathroom again. I got back into bed and closed my eyes to sleep, and BAM! I'm wide awake because my brain started ticking, the wheels started grinding, and suddenly I'm thinking of first my Dad, them my Mom, then each of my grandparents, all deceased. And among these thoughts are mostly the sad heartbreaking memories of my last memories of them (the last few days of their life, or planning and/or attending funerals). I'm laying there angry, thinking "why the heck can't I remember the good memories with as much clarity?" I wish I could say this was only last night, but I've had these exact memories jar me awake many nights over the years. And it definitely makes this type of night my worst! Not only do I feel exhausted but I feel upset & sad that my good memories are overshadowed and seem to have deserted me. I wonder is this because of brain fog, or age, or because of something else? I hate nights like last night...ugh! 😢😪. So, what makes you have a bad night?

Jun 07, 2019 10:01 AM

If I wake up any where near 3 am I’m done! Like my circadian rhythm has kicked In and my brain says it’s time to get up! FlappysLady I totally understand. Possibly you need to seek counseling into why your mind is choosing to think these specific negative thoughts. Part of your grieving process? To much grief in such a short time? Where are you? Denial...Acceptance? Only you know. But counseling can help you thru the process. Good luck I wish you inner peace my lady.
Muscle spasms waking me up or back pain that doesn’t ease enough even with medication. A snoring husband ( snores like a tank Lol) Nightmares😱 you wake up and are afraid to go to sleep. I do not roll over immediately and fall back to sleep but force myself to get up into a lite batheroom for a couple of minutes. Distraction and a sense of life. Look out window. Then try to go back to sleep thinking positive thoughts. Helps usually. Hate that that one the most. Oh well enough.

Jun 07, 2019 2:29 PM

Painwarrior, thanks for the laugh... Snoring hubby! If it's not the snoring it's exhaling the cold CPAP air down my back! 😴😲 Lol. I stretched last night and almost caused a muscle spasm in my thigh, but at least I was still awake and could counteract the wrong move I made. I'm not sure distraction would work for me, because once my brain gets tick-tick-ticking there's no shutting it off for hours. (I've yet to take a nap today, not even 10 minutes😞).

As for counseling, I've been in it for awhile, but never had realized this episode like last night's was on rerun status. I wouldn't say I'm in denial because I'm passed not looking at my Dad's pix (I seek them & smile at the memories), and I was never angry about his death because he was finally at peace. And I've always faced life as "everything happens for a reason, though we may not understand the why," (Ecclesiastes 3:3). It bothers me more that I don't remember the good memories, and I guess realistically I worry I truly am losing my memories. But yeah, I think I'll mention it to my therapist.

So how long does it usually take you to go back to sleep?

Jun 08, 2019 11:30 PM

I think not sleeping in the worst but waking up in pain and not able to get back to sleep is a very close second. And middle of the bathroom trips don’t help either...ahhh the highlight of getting older I say.
I agree with PainWarrior about mentioning those thoughts. As we know, the emotions play a role with our pain.
CBD helped me to get past only sleeping for an hour or two and does help me fall asleep.
Keeping you in my prayers!

Jun 09, 2019 10:15 AM

Not sleeping I think is the worse because it makes everything else worse.

Jun 10, 2019 7:13 AM

Gabbylynn, I laughed about the"bathroom trips... getting older" comment! One of my daughters mentioned her arthritis knees bothering her, and I told her "it only gets worse, give it 20 years." I forgot to get my hubby to pick up some cbd ointment he found locally, to try on my hands; they're really bothering me a lot more, in every joint both day and night. Thank you for the prayers.

AnimalLover2, I'm thinking you all are right in the not sleeping, as I've had several days lately of that. And my pain is worse.

Wishing you all a very good pain day with hugs love & prayers! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Jun 10, 2019 7:28 AM

Hi flappy I sure hope that you feel better soon . Tomorrow is my injection day and mammogram day .
I’ll up date later on how it goes tomorrow afternoon or so.
His to all who are here also Shore 🌈🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌹

Jun 10, 2019 8:54 AM

Same to you Shore! 🙂❤🙏🌼

Jun 10, 2019 8:26 PM

FlappysLady81 when I get like that with memories I open up a word program and start typing, within30 mins I am ready to sleep. Don't proof anything just get it off your chest. That is how most of my blog posts come about. I call it keyboard mind sweep. Lol

Jun 11, 2019 8:51 AM

Thanks for the suggestion zetarlov! I'll give that a try next time. 🙂❤🙏🌼

Jun 11, 2019 8:31 PM

Great idea Zetarlov. Don’t have a computer so I’d be pecking until I fell asleep out of pure exhaustion. Lol FlappysLady gosh I hear you about the C-pap cold breeze ya right down my neck. If I don’t catch it I wake up with a stiff neck. No fun. So many reasons for not falling asleep.💤 Hope we all get a little shut eye tonight. Love to all. 💕🦋

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